Family is when you hate having them around all the time...but couldn't imagine them not being there.

No matter how many times you try to tear me down I'll always be there with needles and thread to mend your heart as well as mine.

Your so stupid if I put your brain in a bird it would fly backwards!!

By: my mom

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

100,000 sperm and you were the fastest?

Mothers with teenagers know why animals eat their young.

Any guy can love a thousand girls but only a real guy can love a girl a thousand ways.

by:unknown

Stop, drop, and roll don't work in hell!!

By: unknown

Life goes on weither or not you want it to, so you might as well live it to the fullest!

Get High,
Get Drunk,
Get F@cked,
Get life!