Guy #1: hey, what happened to your legs?
guy #2: moe like, what happened to your arms?
guy #1: Holy crap!

Dad: happy birthday, son!
**gives son pinata**
son: thanks dad!
*son whacks it and blood comes out.**
dad: oh my god...
Why did you do that?!

I love him...
I don't...
I'll get married...
I won't...
AAAAAAAAAARG
why is love so complicated?

Guy: I love you baby.
girl: I love me too.

Ken dodds dads dogs dead.

If only i can tell you
how much you mean to me
if only you would take me back
i would do anything
'cuz you changed my world
now I'll never be the same

AAAH! I hate rubic cubes
they're evil!!
I can never get it. A waste of time. but then I realized...
THE COLOURS WERE SWITCHED!!!

Yo momma so fat every time she passes by, you miss 5 t.v. shows.
Kid: MOM!!
5 t.v. shows later
mom: you want me to move? ok.

Kid: (-_-*)<--annoyed face

Yo momma so fat it takes her three years to turn around.
one..........................
two..........................
look, cookies!!
one........................
two........................
whoops. gotta go pot--tie!

I was sitting on a couch watching T.V.
my little daughter said to me :
"why doth the rain fall down, mommy?"
And I say, "people in heaven pee"