You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'. -Homer Simpson

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

SHUT UP!! STOP TALKING!! you're raping my ear you azzhole!!!

Ans. mch. lady- "To end your message...please press 11."
Church- " THERE IS NO EFFING 11 YOU EFFING w*ORE!!"

" I will effing stab you, you computer phone lady! "

* Red Vs. Blue, Church on the answering machine. *

W.W.B.D.

What Would Batman Do?

I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming.

"....Or maybe its a glowing key that when u stick it into people it unlocks their death"

<Red Vs. Blue>

<Church and Caboose are tlaking about some glowing sword, and theyre tryig to determine what it really was

"You got steak on my mango!"
"You got mango on my steak!"

<Something i said when me n my friend were eating dinner once, laughed for hours lol>

Im not a tease, you just don't know how to control yourself.<333