"What is this a competition to see who has the largest stretch marks? Mine are bigger than yours!"
(from a phone conversation with a friend; my response to her mentioning me having twenty kids and her having just one)

A crowd gets things done, but it takes an individual to inspire that crowd.

In theory, theory works; in practice, practice works.

"Greekformers, incest in disguise" ~ English Class Random Quote of the Day

English teacher (to the class): "To My Dear and Loving Husband" (poem) well what do you think that is about?
Me: The Nazis.

"I now know how to remember the difference between acne and acme; the acme of acne is the white pus at the top." - (should have beem an English Class random quote of the day; I grossed the teacher with this one)

"Religion is just fashion. Christianity is just like American Eagle; the sects are the other clothing lines sold." ~ (should have been an English class random quote of the day)

"Alexander Hamilton was the orginal emo kid"- O.K. (English Class Random Quote of the Day)

I will love you unless you say that you don't love me and want me to feel the same about you, then I'll just like you.

" Who saw a chicken and thought I'm going to eat the next thing that comes out of his butt?"

~English class random quote of the day