I dont know what half to listen to, no I dont know whats right. Ive let one half take over, just staying to that side. But it aches too much, the pain comes in waves. I cant just let this feeling stay. So Ill close off my heart tonight

You're the addiction, that doesn't belong to me.

I'll put on a brave face
Let you walk away
I'll write letters and I'll think of you
Everyday
And although I don't believe in him
Every night I'll pray
That I get to hold my soldier again someday

If you die
They better tell me you fought like hell to survive
Or I'll never forgive you
For making me love you

Part of lyrics from my Soldier Song

You brought out something inside of me
You were the one to set me free
I know you'll be the best man you can
I promise you, I understand
I'll think of you everyday its true
and every song i sing, I'll be singing to you
-from Soldier Song

When I so desperately needed the soft caress words bring, the world fell silent. With one last attempt at self preservation i pen the sorrow of the partition in my heart letting each memory scream from the page. All I'm asking you to do is listen.

I knew I shouldn’t have told you
This is all going wrong
Get the hell out of my hurt
It’s not where you belong
This shouldn’t be happening
Let me set the record straight
I am not your concern
You will not suffer from my pain

Because you weave pictures
Of the most beautiful dreams
And everything you will do
To stifle my screams
But in the dead of night
The nightmares are dark
There’s gruesome pictures
Infecting my heart

My head is spinning
My heart is rushing
My mouth is shut tight
While my body is pulsing
So I reach for it
And make short quick strikes
And all of a sudden
Everything is all right

My message to God:
I hate you for not existing. When we need you the most thats when everything falls apart. Its time to face the facts, we're all on our own.