Life is like my ex boyfriend- it sucks.

Pain is a figment of the imagination said the man who causes it

If i guy suddenly finds another girlfriend two days after you break up he is doing one of two things
1)he cheated on you
2) hes so ugly he had to lie to make you feel bad

My heart is like clockwork .. you dismantled me

You'll only suffocate me again if i go back

One minute you want me back, but then im a liar. WTF?!

It doesnt just rain in life.. it pours!

Romance only exists in the movies, that way there isnt any broken hearts.

What do rubix cubes and a penis have in common?
the longer you play with them the harder they get

Kids in the back seat cause accidents!
.. accidents in the back seat cause kids!

not mine but i think its funny