I Think...
therefore I'm Single.

If you're one in a million, there are six thousand people exactly like you...

I told her to go to hell; then I thought that's probably where I'll end up. So then I told her to go to Heaven. Ha!

I'm not grumpy, I'm just a night person stuck in a day world!

My parents put me in therapy, they just had to die first.

RIP mom and dad.

You say I've changed; Sorry but you never really knew me in the first place.

People ask how I deal with things so easily,
The answer is I don't, I'm just good at hiding it.

It's no use going back to the past, because I was a different person then.

The greener grass on the other side is probably artificial turf..

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.