I love you like pigs love not being bacon. :p

Do you want a tampon with that status, you moody b-tch.

Despite the walls you build, I'm here. You don't have to be on your own.

You actually like me? Hold on, while I decide if you're f-cking with me.

You're so perfect. I get shaky & my breathing gets heavy & I never thought I'd feel this again.

Ugh, what is it, Assh-le day?

I wish there was a Build-A-Boyfriend workshop.

Shit man, almost went to jail...
that game of monopoly is intense.

Hurt my best friend's feelings, I'll cut your penis off.

I think Disney should make a hairless princess, so the little girls with cancer can feel beautiful..