Isn't it weird that all year round your parents tell you not to play with fire, but on Independence Day they hand you a package of explosives, a lighter, and say have fun?

Why do we say "heads up" when we actually duck?

"What was Captian Hook's name before he had a hook for a hand?"

Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but its ok to use a handicapped toilet?

How do "do not walk on grass" signs get there?

"Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?"

How come we say 'It's colder than hell outside' when isn't it realistically always colder than hell since hell is supposed to be fire and brimstone?

MASTERBATION

my anti drug

Just tell your penis you couldnt play with him tonite because you were out getting stoned he'll understand

If you love some one you would let them go, if they dont come back then there with me