Relationship Advice Please & Thankyou !

Nevermind ;)

From what you've given... I would say that you're afraid of losing this guy... but I'm afraid that you're constantly sabotaging the relationship with him because you're afraid that somehow you do not deserve him... afraid that he might leave you in the end, which led you to reject him... early on...

Anyways back to your problem:

Compile a list of ten things that attracted you to him... and the words will flow like a sea of milk and honey...lol