Favour Please

I have a poem, it is currently called "yet to be named" due to the fact that i am still undecided on what to call it. the poem is a combination of a few poems i have written as well as a new theme all woven into this multi layered metaphor thing.

anyway firstly it would be greatly appreciated if you could read it and comment it (no one liners, good comments with feedback please) and if a title comes to you that would also be awesome. i will return the favour by doing 3 of your's.

I need a lot of perspectives because i need to keep on refining it before i give it to a friend of mine who is an english teacher and will give the final critique.

thanks xox

Note: I am aware there are some gramatical errors, i am terrible at grammer, they will be fixed later.