The "Haha" Column!

Got a funny joke or story, one that you heard from a friend of a friend or one you were emailed, etc., that you want to tell? Well what are you waiting for!!!

-----------------------------------------------------------------

"Just the other night I heard this little girl say to her father she was afraid of the person hiding under her bed... I had to keep myself from laughing or else I'd be discovered."

"i was sitting in the park, wondering why frisbees got bigger as they got closer..and then it hit me."

heh heh.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra

I noticed on the back of our Douwe Egberts coffee jar that it said "We do not make coffee for anyone else." Imagine my annoyance when I went around a friend's house and she had Douwe Egberts coffee too!

Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.

Q: What is the difference between men and women?
A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.

Q: Why do women wear make-up and perfume?
A: Because they're ugly and they smell.

Calvin: I've got it! Everything in the Universe can be simplified to one unique equation!
Hobbes: Really?? What is it??
Calvin: Already my brain is bored by such problems and is now working on why girls are so obnoxious.

A man, and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud knock on the door.

The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.

"Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3 o'clock in the morning!" He slams the door and returns to bed.

"Who was that?" asked his wife.

"Just some drunken guy asking for a push," he answers.

"Did you help him?" she asks.

"No, I did not! It is 3 o'clock in the morning and it is pouring out there!"

Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!"

The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pouring rain. He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"

"Yes" comes back the answer.

"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.

"Yes, Please!" comes the reply from the dark.

"Where are you?" asks the husband.

"Over here on the swing!" replies the drunk.

My dad: go get the mail.

brother: noo.

dad: do it now.

brother: aww c'mon dad! i just sat down!.

dad: FINE, i'll do it. lazy ass kid.

brother: know what? i think my legs need some stretchin. i'll do it.

dad: no, i said i'll do it.

brother: DAD! i said i'll do it! why do you keep treating me like a child.

(in the time that this argument has taken, i have gone outside and gotten the mail. sigh. another day in the life of me.)

"A dyslexic man walks into a bra"

-- hahaha.