FUNNY BUT USELESS

HEY post here ur fave sayings or just random stuff haha

heres mine :P
If you have a gun and you ask, "can I ask you a question?" and they say "fire away" should you shoot them?

have you got any ?

Question: Where does the white go when the snow melts ?? no one seems to be able to tell me !!

Well I have a random question..

Why do Christians try to use Christian ideas to convert people. I don't believe in it why should it scare/change me??

At a movie theater which arm rest is yours?

why doesnt mcdonalds sell hotdogs??

How far east can you go before you're heading west?

We do it on the couch,
in the bed,
in the car,
and the bathroom.
Yup, texting.

Kool lol anymore?

Do they have the word dictionary in the dictionary?

oh and is the word cant in the dictionary because if it is then why do people say there is no such word as cant?

Hmm.... i need to find me one now dont i lol

There's no better friend, than a friend with chocolate... lol

Do stairs go up or down?

If money doesnt grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?

:-)

Never say never , woops O_O

Haha lol these are great!

if you aim to fail and you fail do you succeed or fail?

Haha.. these are good.

uhm lets see...

if a tree falls in the woods, and no one is there to witness it or hear it.. what does it sound like? o.o

Lol i have one like that

iff a man is talking and theres no women around to hear him is he still wrong?

:)

Haha.. a man is wrong anyway.. regardless if there is a man/woman present! hahaha

thats a good one. =]

"i see", said the blind man, to the deaf woman, both sitting on the corner of the round table.

=]

haha.

Haha have to agree with nicole on that one!

lol thats a good one!

these are great keep them coming... i will be thinking of more x

He who laughs last, thinks slowest

I did NOT slap you i hi-fived ur face :)

yes life has a instrustion manule its just in chineese :)

If at first you do not succeed; failure might just be your style?

haha lol theese are great anymore how about jokes to aye ?

Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected?

Thees are GREAT

a couple of vampires are hanging in a tree just b4 dawn one says to his girlfriend , '' honey did you hear trhat my belly just rumbled i'v got to get some food.'' ' sweet heart!' she shieks ' going out for food is way to dangerous! the sun will be up soon and u'll turn 2 dust! '' being a tough guy the boy vampire tells her not to fuss and takes offwithin a minute he's bak dripping from is mouth ' shesh! THAT was quick! were did you go?'' asks the girlfriend in astonishment.

' do u see that tree over there '

'yes'

'well i didn't'

If a tree falls in a forest and there is no one around to hear it, does it make noise?

He who throws dirt is only losing ground.

Haha the tree joke was funny >.<

Glad to be drunk

"A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk."

Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?"

"Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go."

Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled."

Mine is simple

its always in the last place you look
well duh
otherwise you would be looking for something that wasnt lost

I can type 1000000 words in a minute.
Its in my own language though.

I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks.
And it was waaaaay too litteral for me.

Why is it that when someone tells you that there’s billions of stars in the universe, you believe them. But if they tell you there’s wet paint somewhere you have to touch it?

Did you ever notice that if you blow in a dogs face it goes mad, yet when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head straight out the window?

If love is blind, why is langire so popular?

If at first you dont succed, dont go skydiving.

Why is A squared + B squared = C Squared the formula to find part of a Triangle?

And how does that work cause in algebra we are always told we cant plus them if the not the same so its
A squared + B squared= A squared + B squared

Okay now I'm confused o.O

How can life be short, when it is the longest thing humans can experience?

:D

Pratice makes perfect, but there's no such thing as perfect, so why pratice?

The absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence.

If anyone can tell me where that is from I will laugh. So funny.

You tried your very best...and you failed. The lesson is, "don't try".

HAHA funni :Dhehe i'll have to get bak to you!! i have to find mi joke book it got lost !!!!!!! yes i DID NOT lose it it just got lost somewere in mi house!! so yer sorri but i'll find it ((( hopefully!))))

Do you realize how many holes there would be if people just took the time to take the dirt out of them?

Hahaha still lookin for my joke book!!!

lol

SOME ONE burnt down the pool YES the POOL of ALL places and in summer to !!! HOW DARE THEY WHO EVER YOU ARE lol