Having a baby

Well im 17 and im two months and two days pregnant its so hard cause i still go to skool. but im constantly fighting wit the dad cause he wants to be there but his ex gf is telling him that i slept around so it prolly aint even his kid. And then today he got abusive wit me in skool and hit me....im totally lost for words i have no clue what to do??!!

I think that you need to do what is best for the baby. although normally its best to have the father involved, if he is getting abusive you need to protect you and your baby and stay away. please...protect your baby from harm.

Abusive guys- whether you are pregnant or not, are a BIG no no. It can start small and escalate ever so quickly. You really have to be careful and get out as soon as you can.

See thats the thing me and him broke up but its like he wants to be there for me and the baby but its so hard cause i am so young and im doing it all on my own....like i still having feelings for him but lately hes been driving me away and i kno i dont want that for me and the baby....its jus hard if you guys kno what i mean

Although it may be hard and i know you are young...you are taking care of a little one in you. you aren't the only one you need to protect anymore. time to think about what if he hit the baby when it was born...it could cause fatal injury, and even if it wasnt a serious injury...if he hurt that baby i garuntee you would regret ever bringing your baby into harms way. its better to be safe then sorry.

I swear this is the jerry springer of poetry sites. That guy seems about as ready to raise a child as you are, time to grow up, forget the highschool drama and focus on learning how to be a good mother.

Hopefully you reported him laying his hands on you. Now stay away from him and tell him he can have a paternity test and you don't want to see or speak to him unless it is in court. Sadly we don't get to choose our parents and a child needs someone who is selfless and puts them before all else, you do what you need to do to keep your stuff together and don't worry about the father, that is what the legal system is for.

Yeah, i know that like me and him are not together and i am moving back to my old town but like i said its hard to do it on your own im getting a place on my own and doing it all by myself the only people that really support me is my grandma aunt and a couple of friends

Then get child support through the court when the child is born. but you need to end your personal ties with him whether you are together or not. he hit you. that's all that reall matters right now.

"its hard to do it on your own"

Being a single mother myself for a while, this much I know... but...

"the only people that really support me is my grandma aunt and a couple of friends"

at least you have people behind you.

Listen. he believed his ex, didn't care about hurting you or his child, I say don't keep trying to convince him or talking him about it... just leave him! he might come to his sences, might not, don't worry. Take care of yourself and your baby, don't be bothered with him or his ex, he doen't deserve you.

Thank you all for your advice. I really do appericiate it

Tell him its not his kid and get your name changed when you move.

god, if i could go back and give my mother that advice so many years ago.... maybe she and i wouldn't be as damaged as we are. you dont want that life, believe me, i lived it. you may think my advice is joking because its a big extreme .. im serious.

"Tell him its not his kid and get your name changed when you move."

^ Wow... He hits her because he suspects that the child isn't his... And you want her to tell him, as if it were a fact, that the child isn't his... If he laid his hands on her for even the thought of it what in the hell is he going to do to her & the child next when he hears that?

Sammerz, be mature, do the right thing for your child & report him to the authorities.

Britt- i think that what you said is kinda rude and disrespectful atleast i am doing the best i can and i will take care of my kid it doesnt matter if the dad wants to be in the babies life or not.....

Honestly yes i have to make choices and give up things because of this but i refuse to give up a child and i dont really care what you two think i came here to ask for advice not get criticized for my wrong doing that is what is so wrong about this yes he hit me once he feels bad and no i have nothing to do with him now.....and my mom thinks im doing the right thing and for you guys to sit here and judge me for my wrong doings is not right only god can judge people and im sorry if you carried a kid in you for 9 months you wouldnt be able to give birth and jus give it up so....and im not saying its going to be easy to raise a kid at 17 but you kno what im going to do it and my kid will be loved and i wont treat it like crap or anything like that....so honestly you guys need to look at what you say you are how old and sitting here judging a 17 yr by what her mistake was no i dont regret it so get over it

And also i was on birth control but it failed so you cant tell me i didnt take percautions or anything like that and unlike some people people do think it will be ok yes i understnad i will be giving up a lot in life but im bringing a beautiful child into this world so lets jus leave it at that

It is absolutely possible to have and raise a child at 17, I am living proof of that, that being said, it doesn't just happen and turn out all roses and it is something you have to work at. The fact that this boy put his hands on you and you do nothing, shows you are not a good decision maker. They're always sorry, the 1st, 2nd and 3rd time, some even say they're sorry after they kill you. This kind of attitude is not one you want to pass along to a child.

I did report him so therefor i did stand up for myself.
Britt- no i dont live a fairytale life i just lost my dad in august and my mom and him were planning on getting married and no one knows what i have been through in my life i have raised my three siblings my mom is an alcoholic and i have been molested when i was a child and ive been raped all things i have gone through also i have been through foster homes so no my life is no where near perfect and like i have said before no it wont be easy raising the child but im the type of person who couldnt carry a baby around for nine months and jus give up. Yes in some cases adopotion can be a good thing but i just cant do it. Also i dont think im making the wrong decisison so im sorry if i offended anyone

At no point in any of your other responses, even after it was mentioned, did you say you reported it, we're not psychic, focus the attitude elsewhere.

Okay, I'm no expert, or I doubt I'll be much help to this situation, and I see that both sides have some very valuable points.

My cousin, she turns 18 on the 1st of August this year... 3 months after I turn 18.

She has had 2 children. She became pregnant at the age of 15, had Mia at 16 and fell pregnant last year.. and had Alannah just 3 days ago.

I think that Britt and the other well-respected women/girls who have voiced opinions have very valuable ideas, and suggestions, and I think that it is sad, that you are having a child at 17.

Abortion is definatly out of my eyes, especially if it were me having the child. Maybe adoption could be a good idea.. but if you're willing to take on the responsibilites, then full-steam ahead - raise the baby, but before you make that decision, maybe think of the posibilities.

I'm also not critisizing, or having a stab at you, I just think, maybe thinking it through first could make a huge impact on your baby's life, your life, and everyone you know's life.

And, just another note on the other girls/women who have posted, I assume when they say they have been a single mother for a while... or have children and say they can be hard to raise by yourself, I think it would be wise to take their word for it.. I doubt I'd be able to be as strong as them, especially when it comes to having children at the ages of 17 and so forth.

Good luck with your decision. :)

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To be honest i have had 2 1/2 months to think about having a baby and my descicion is to keep it and take care of it right now i have someone in my life who is willing to be there for me and my kid even tho its not the babies daddy it will be good to have to parents and it will have a good home and life to live

Well, if that's your decision, then good luck with it. :)

I wish you well in the future. :)

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