Can I help him?

A close friend of mine -Lexi- a few months ago, was in an accident. She was nineteen, and had recently gotten married to her long time fiance/best friend, Joseph. She was pregnant with twins, and before the accident the doctors were afraid she might not make it through because of various reasons, she lived, and the twins were tiny, but alive.

About a month later, a friend of hers was driving her and her younger brother, Alek, to her band practice (she didn't sing or play yet, because it was so soon after the birth, but she did want to be with them, supportive-wise, Joseph had the twins with him, he was waiting for her there)
On the way, they were t-boned by a truck, and the entire right side of the car was crushed. She was sitting in the passenger seat.
She was in the hospital for three weeks, for the final two of those she was on life support.
Her heart rate kept dropping and her body became unstable even under life support and she died.

Her husband is devestated.. I loved lexi like I would a sister, and I've known him for as long as I've known her, he's thinking about taking the twins back to the UK with him, and I don't know how to help him. Especially if he leaves. He seems so lost.. is there nothing I can do?

^ I agree. Being there; supporting him at this time, is about all that you can do & the best thing you can do for him.

You said he's thinking about moving back to the UK. Most likely because he has, or your friend has, family there right? At this time I think that would be the best decision for him to make for himself & especially for the twins; to surround them in the support & love of family. This is what he & the twins most importantly need. Support his decision.

Yes, they're family is mostly in the UK, her grandparents live out here, but lexi&joseph have been here for about six years, and neither of them have spoken to they're family at all during that time span (they aren't really what you'd call a close-nit family) except for when she died, and even then none of them except for her cousin came to her funeral.
Joseph has even admitted that they're families tend to get him stressed out in the past, and that his friends here are closer to him then a lot of his relatives. I'm trying to support him on this, but he's hardly spoken to them in such a long time, I just am not sure they would understand -or if being around them would be better for the twins, the twins have never met any of these people, it would be a completely different world for them.

"Yes, they're family is mostly in the UK, her grandparents live out here, but lexi&joseph have been here for about six years, and neither of them have spoken to they're family at all during that time span (they aren't really what you'd call a close-nit family) except for when she died, and even then none of them except for her cousin came to her funeral."

^ Whatever reason it is that your friends didn't talk to their families or their families didn't talk to them (when you say that your friends didn't speak to their family I assume it's on their part), regardless, that isn't any of your business. It's between family.

Sometimes families, related or extended, aren't all that close or don't get along. I have aunts and cousins I'm not close to. That reason being because I've only met them twice and that they never call, email, message or come to visit me... And they live in the same city as me! Yet, I have aunts, uncles and cousins who live in BC (24hrs away) whom I have met twice that I am extremely close to. We call, email & message each other.

And sometimes families who live LONG distances away from each other are not financially, physically, or otherwise, able to go. It doesn't mean they didn't want to go or that it didn't matter to them. Really, this is not your place nor the time to pass judgment.

"Joseph has even admitted that they're families tend to get him stressed out in the past, and that his friends here are closer to him then a lot of his relatives."

^ Sometimes it takes a tragedy to bring a family together. Besides, he seems to think that it would be the right or appropriate thing to do. Perhaps he's not thinking about himself or what he WANTS right now, perhaps he's thinking about his children and what they NEED. If so, then he's a very unselfish and credible father.

"I'm trying to support him on this, but he's hardly spoken to them in such a long time, I just am not sure they would understand - or if being around them would be better for the twins, the twins have never met any of these people, it would be a completely different world for them."

^ Well, that's a matter of opinion, which is unnecessary & most likely to cause more harm than good.

It IS already a completely different world for those twins without their mother...

Just because they've never met each other doesn't mean they can't have a genuine, healthy, happy relationship together when they do. I've met some aunts, uncles & cousins who lived in BC for the first time at the age of 9 and we were just as close as any of my other cousins, uncles & aunts I've known my whole life! How many times have I seen them since? Once. The rest of the time we call, email or message one another. Today, I still have an unbelievably close relationship & connection with them.

The keyword here is: You're "trying" to support him... Do you really want to support him? Because it sounds like you're just trying to find excuses to tell him that he's making the wrong decision. That is selfish. If you TRULY want to support him, set aside your opinions; their family issues is not your business & it's not your place to nor the time to pass judgment, and support his decision(s).

The reason I say this is because I've been in this situation before, and the advice I'm giving is the advice I took myself and is the advice I will take if ever confronted with this again.

I think whatever Joseph decides would be best. Maybe he needs his family around him now whether they get on or not. Maybe it will be for the best and maybe it's won't but that (I'm sorry to say) will have to be the risk he takes if he truly thinks it's best for his babies. I can understand your worrying though.

"Whatever reason it is that your friends didn't talk to their families or their families didn't talk to them (when you say that your friends didn't speak to their family I assume it's on their part), regardless, that isn't any of your business. It's between family."

^ Well considering Lexi & I considered each other sisters in every meaning of the word I'd say it is my business, especially sense she told me what had gone on, I'm aware why NEITHER side doesn't speak to each other, i just didn't feel that information was necessary.

"And sometimes families who live LONG distances away from each other are not financially, physically, or otherwise, able to go. It doesn't mean they didn't want to go or that it didn't matter to them. Really, this is not your place nor the time to pass judgment."

^Their parents and family have every capable resource at their fingertips, I know the families capability, trust me, it wasn't because they couldn't, you find time to see your daughter's funeral, i don't care who you are. Maybe that's a judgement, and maybe it isn't the right time, but i'm not saying it to him. So its not as if I'm hurting him or them, I know enough about their family history and present condition to know the capabilties of them, and what they simply choose not to do.

OF COURSE I want to support him! but does that mean I keep my mouth shut when it's my job to as the babies godmother (oh, forgot to mention that, thats another thing that makes it my business) to make sure it's the best possible environment for them? I'm not against him, I'm just trying to cover all my bases. And one thing I know for sure that he doesn't need in his life is more heartache, and i'm fairly positive that's all that will come of it, not saying for sure, I don't know, but yeah. Sorry if you see that as me trying to tell him he's making the wrong decision, I'm trying to figure it out for myself -as is he- but I am not, i repeat, not trying to be selfish, I'm simply trying to answer his question as to whether or not he should go, since he's still not completely sure.

There's no need to throw a fit girly.

It's not your decision. It's his. And if this is his decision you should support him. You know, "Do what you think is best for your children." Period. And if he decides to stay support him too. "If you think that's best." If he thinks that's best. Not you. His wife and mother of his children may be gone, but he's not and he's still the sole guardian; the father, of his children. It's his choice to make. There's no need for you to be giving him any more heartache either, putting doubts into his head about his decision (that is of course if you haven't talked to him already about this or not). Like I said, he's the father. He'll make the right decision. Trust him.

*sigh* I'm sorry. I've been really sick lately, and I everything going on isn't that easy on either me or him.. I didn't mean to be sharp, I apologize. he asked my opinion on the topic. I told him what you said, and he thanked me, but he still isn't sure. I only hope he makes the right decision, i do trust him, but after what he went through.. I can't help but worry about his health, and the childrens', with all of this, especially with such a drastic change in environment. Maybe it isn't my place, but I can't change that part of how i feel.