So theres this guy

Theres this guy i absoultly ADORE with like my whole heart!
were just friends at the moment but i really like him, and he shows signs he likes me but then switchs and shows he doesnt no. and we both know im into him but its not going anywhere and im so confused and hes so complicated. one day hes telling me he doesnt want me to go away ever then the next hes acting like we should date and the next its complete oppisite and hes like whatever. but should i stick around or is this just gonna hurt me??????

When he starts being complete opposite and is "like whatever," is he around his friends? It might be that he doesn't want his friends to know, and in that case you shouldn't stick around. Why be with someone who's ashamed of you?

If that's not the case, then what I would do is back off a little. Don't start conversations with him, wait for him to start them with you. Don't flirt with him, just treat him like you would a normal friend. If he really likes you, he'll start coming to you ("chasing you"). If he doesn't, you'll know he didn't really like you.

Maybe you should just talk to him and see what he truly feels about you before you make any quick decisions.

Well theres also a two year age difference and hes older but its not like that with his friends his friends love me they want us to date alot , its whenever hes in a mood idk hes so confusing):

Have you talked to him before about it? If not, try doing so. If you still don't get a clear answer, I suggest backing off.

Why do girls always blame the guy?

I agree with forevertobeart. You could ask him about it. But I think most importantly, just from reading your post, you need to back off and just treat him like the friend he is. From his mixed signals, it sounds like he may be feeling pressured, by you and/or his friends, to return the feelings or to be in a relationship together. And from that, maybe even mixed feelings towards you or your friendship. Wouldn't you rather have him as a friend, than to not have him in your life in the end?

Erm, you're 13 years old, and I'm going to assume he's about the same age. I would give the guy a break, no one really knows what's going on at that age. If he can't make up his mind, that's fine. If you are going to talk to him, make sure you don't pressure him.

13, I remember being 13, I didn't have a care in the world.

"13, I remember being 13, I didn't have a care in the world."

^ Isn't that the truth, lol.

Um nope im 14 ive got to change that and no hes 16!

And well i dont really no, i am his friend! but were always together its kinda hard to back off someone ur with all the time!,and idk now weve been acting like bf and gf and gah well thanks for your help , and yeah lol its not that easy to have no cares in the world!(:

If you're going to be acting like bf and gf, it's going to start getting weird. You either tell him how you feel now, or someone else will take him away from you. That's the risk you take by not telling him..

"but were always together its kinda hard to back off someone ur with all the time!"

^ No one's saying that you should back off of the friendship. But it sounds like you're pressuring him to be your boyfriend and to be in a relationship with you (as well as his friends are). He sounds like he's confused. Could you be misinterpreting the things he does or says for something else or that you're only seeing what you want to see? It sounds like these feelings you have are a little one-sided, considering one minute you're friends, the next he acts like a "boyfriend" then another he's as you say "whatever". Cause It sounds like the whole "we've been acting like bf and gf" is in your head.

It sounds like the whole "we've been acting like bf and gf" is in your head.

^
how do u get that outta what i said, we actually do act like it, liek were together i dont think u can fake holding someones hand or hugging them and going to see them, which is what he does with me! so yeah! and

yeah im gonna tell him and kinda set how i feel in place because i deff wudnt want to lose him!

^ See, that's what I want to here! Details. You can't leave those sort of important details out if you want clear advice, opinions, etc. If you'd simply mentioned such your answers would be different.

I'm not saying it's fake. But holding hands, hugging and "going to see a person" (whatever you mean by that) aren't just limited to "couples". My 5 year old cousin holds my hands while we walk down the street. I hug my friends and parents all the time not to mention drive down to visit them whenever I can. Heck, I've hugged people who I barely knew to console them when they had just found out that their loved one had died.

Anyways. Like I said before, and like everyone else has said, just simply come out with it. Ask him.

Well, if you stick around, you'll get hurt because you'll be confused by his mixed signals and wouldn't know what to do like right now, and if you leave you'll get hurt too. Soo..

We're not psychic, we don't know this guy, we can't tell you what he's thinking. If you want to know the truth just ask him! You don't want to live your life wondering what if or regret anything, so just ask him. If you don't have the confidence to do it, then ask your friends to ask him what he really feels about you.

If he likes you, that's great! But if he doesn't, it's better to know now than waste your time or living your life wondering...Good luck!! :)

Honestly, I didnt read what everyone else wrote, so this might be redundent, but just out right ask him, dont beat around the bush, just walk up to him, ask him if he has minute, pull him off to the side and say the fallowing words, "Do you, or do you not like me?" its a really easy, quick and virtually painless process. If you have to reword it so he understands what your asking, then reword it to something like,"Do you want to be my bf or not?"
come on chica, its the year 2009, girls are allowed to ask a guy out.

"its the year 2009, girls are allowed to ask a guy out."

^^ So true. The last 4 girls I went out with all asked me out. Makes it so much easier when girls come out and say what they are thinking.

"I always feel if you don't have the courage to say what you feel today .. when will you and will you ever?"

^^ Then shouldn't that work for the girl as well?

I mean, the girls that asked me out, I always thought of them as friends. I never really thought about a relationship with any of them until they told me they 'liked' me.

If there is a girl I like, I usually tell her. It doesn't always end up the right way, but at least it was said, and I never end up wondering 'what if'..

And then there are those who didn't have to ask at all, like my partner and I, lol!

"^^ Then shouldn't that work for the girl as well?"

^^ That was my question to you.

"I always feel if you don't have the courage to say what you feel today .. when will you and will you ever?"

^^ Then shouldn't that work for the girl as well?

So no?.. Girls should just hide their feelings is what you're trying to tell me?..

The question was based on the general population of girls, not just your case.

Sorry Amanda, you should know by now, on the forums I can be really annoying and controversial. I like to stir things up. Nothing personal at all!

"Girls now a days are so free with their feelings so I have no doubt they won't blurt it out."

^^ Woo!!! That's what I was really trying to get out of you!

When it comes to sharing feelings, it shouldn't matter who says it first. However, when it comes to asking someone on a date, you prefer the guy to do it. I totally understand, I just wanted you to admit that girls are allowed to share their feelings first.

Referring back to my last post and the OP's problem (if the problem still hasn't been resolved by now):

"And then there are those who don't have to ask at all, lol!"

Does that seem to be the case for you kla and your friend; that neither one of you had asked the other if they wanted to be boyfriend and girlfriend, and your "relationship"? You had said that one minute you're friends, the next he acts like a "boyfriend" then another he doesn't seem to care. As I've, and others, have previously stated, he appears confused. Perhaps this is because the two of you haven't established whether or not you are officially boyfriend and girlfriend or because you haven't established if you're in an official relationship. If he has the same feelings for you, but you hadn't asked him or let him know, he may need some reassurance from you that you do want to be in a relationship with him and that he isn't misinterpreting wrong. In any case, just ask him if he wants to be with you.

No offence to all the old fashioned indivduals on this thread. Bravery is infact a two way street. If your a girl and you like a guy, you should be woman enoph to tell them and not wait around for them to notice you, and if you want to get technical, woman and men where once equals in civilized society a REALLY long time ago, in the Celtic Age. They fought together, dinned together, and ruled together. No matriarch or patriach, it was the best person for the job did the job, and women would court men and men would court women, you want old fashioned, there you go. The way it was first. So An, your way is really the new fashion, lol. Im extremly prejudice against that style of belief myself.
Also that Chivalry thing is boogus has well, I dont know where the beleaf that Chivalry and the treatment of women are one in the same, its a totally fault in todays society.

the Knights Code of Chivalry,
(The only written Code of Chivalry ever documented)
To fear God and maintain His Church

To serve the liege lord in valour and faith

To protect the weak and defenceless

To give succour to widows and orphans

To refrain from the wanton giving of offence

To live by honour and for glory

To despise pecuniary reward

To fight for the welfare of all

To obey those placed in authority

To guard the honour of fellow knights

To eschew unfairness, meanness and deceit

To keep faith

At all times to speak the truth

To persevere to the end in any enterprise begun

To respect the honour of life

Never to refuse a challenge from an equal

Never to turn my back upon a foe

By Thee Lord, I do vow.

Nothing on there dose it say that men have to ask a women for her hand, nor dose it say that a woman cannot court a man. so there gose your old fashioned idea and your chivalry thoughts. Sorry, Im a huge history and theology buff.

And why shouldnt a girl ask a guy out. You say that your a woman that gose for what she wants, and if you want a guy, shouldnt you go for him?? Thats contradictory in itself. If you go for what you want, but you refuse to ask a guy out, then that means you dont go for what you want really. Guys are really simple minded, sometimes we dont pick up on suble hints that women give, it would be so much ezier for us if they just told us what they want instead of presuaing us to get what they want. Most guys dont think in the 100s of dimisions that women do, not to mention most guys state EXACTLY what it is they want. We dont wait for the girl to say that they want to go to a movie if we want to go to the movie, we say "hey, i want to go see a movie," women will say,"hey theres a movie playing tonight," wich confusses the hell out of me, they try to convince men that we want to go see it, when really, all they need to say is, "Hey I want to go see a movie, do you wanna go with me," We will probly say yes, no becouse you tricked us into it, but becouse before that moment we havnt givin any thought to seeing a movie at all. wow, im ganna stop know before I start to a psyh. text book. sorry yall.

I omly read the first post so i don't know about the whole convo... so yeah... but i've been through this before this guy and he was always like this for years well not years but about a year and all he's caused me is pain although we had this drunk argue,ment and now where pretty close friends but i'll never date him cause of to reasons. 1 he's hurt me to much 2 i have the greatest boyfriend now and i wouldn't want it any other way lol sry if i didn't really help

Ahh thanks guys !
i dont really know if things worked out i jsut decided the he was causes me pain on his little rollar coaster of emotions that i have already been on with siomeone else and i really dont want to go back to that place so i just gave it to him straight and i told him whatever we had was just gone we havent talked for 4 days but i have school tomorrow so we will see how it works out if i can have wthe will power not to talk to him idont even no what im doing aat this point1):