Are you able to do anything to get you ex back?

Hi guys,

After a breakup,you realize that you truly care about you ex boyfriend/girlfriend and no matter how hard you tried you can't move on.

In this case what will you do?will you do everything in your power to get them back or will you try to let them go?

When you find out that your ex has a new girl/boy friend will you still try to win them back?

Like Britt said, they're an ex for a reason.

If it didn't work the first time, why would it work the second time?

Well,guys I agree on what you have said but I think that when there are some misunderstandings between you,you should at least try to clear things may be it will work.

After the breakup you realize the value of each other so if you make up you'll be more careful and considerate,you'll learn from the mistakes of the past and you won't repeat them.

I've been in your situation. I broke up with my ex and a couple days later he's with someone else.

I did NOT try to get him back. Why would I want someone that obviously doesn't love me if he's able to do that to me. He obviously knows I'm hurt and obviously doesn't care that I am.

Has HE tried calling you? Has HE done anything to communicate with you? Don't care for someone that doesn't give a sh!t about you. That's what I think. Sometimes it's too late and you HAVE to learn to live without them. I know right now you feel like you can't get over them but believe me, you will. He's with someone else so don't try to ruin that...if you really do love him, you would want him to be happy even if it means being without you.

Well,he tried to talk to me but I couldn't (some unhappy circumstances),and I was not quite demonstrative about how I really feel about him.

I think he was really hurt,and still has issues from our past relationship,it has been 2 years since we broke up but during this time he was trying to make contact with me but he couldn't (long distance between us and I changed my phone numbers) then suddenly I went there and we saw each other,I texted him but he didn't reply although he told a friend of us that he really wants to talk to me.

I think he thinks I'm not sincere,I came out of nowhere after all this time!!!it's too good to be true for him!!!

So I really want to fix things but I'm so afraid of rejection!!!!!

Past is past you need to get over on it... there is a lot of good future you will faced. maybe someday you will find the right person for you. you dont need to be with him again.

Hi guys,

I texted him on New Years Eve but he didn't answer back so I called him just to say Hi and apologize if I disturbed him when I sent the text message.

He told me that I didn't disturb him that he doesn't have a phone card to answer me (I know it's not true) he was a bit cold and distant like if we are strangers (in fact I understand after all this time!)
then he told me he was out and a little bit busy (he was really out)

I felt that he was still badly affected by the past and that he wants to show that he is strong and that he won't let me play with him!!!

So what do you think???

He was being distant because he wants to move on but you keep trying to call/text him. In a way, you guys are practically strangers now. It's been 2 years since you had a relationship. Things have changed and I think hes been trying to get away from the past.

You THINK that hes been acting this way and that because this and that but you're just assuming. You don't know what he's thinking you're just saying things that you wish were true.

If he really wanted to be with you, I think he knows that he could. If he called you and said I love you, I'm pretty sure he knows that you would run back to him with open arms, but he hasn't done that. Your the one who's mainly communicating with him not the other way around. You need to move on.

Thanks guys for the trouble you've taken to answer me.

I agree partly on what you are saying but there is still something which is puzzling me this is it:

One year after our break up (I was the one who wanted to break up because he drove me nuts!!) he came with a girl to my college (he had nothing to do there) he wanted to make me jealous.

then just before I sent him the text message he called me from a private number so many times just to hear my voice (he didn't utter a word!)

So do you really think I'm the one who is reading into this?

Maybe he was prank calling you.

Maybe it wasnt him who rang you, maybe it was someone else, but because u dont know who did it, he's is obvious the easy party to blame. And maybe the senario with him going up to your college, with a girl....could it have just of been a friend??.. But to be fair i think, in my own opinion, forget about him.. he's sound like a bit if gobshite.

Well since you're asking so many questions about him and posted this discussion up, it's obvious that YOU want to be with him.

You've said all these things about him that are just assumptions. To make sure these assumptions are correct why don't you just go up to him and ask him? We obviously don't know this guy. If you want to get somewhere then just go up to him and ask. If you're too scared then move on...

First of all I want really to be with him that's why I'm discussing this matter with you guys :):)

secondly,when we were together he did that kind of things (calling from other numbers and sending text messages) and he pretended that he did nothing.

I won't exaggerate if I say to you that he is the only one who has my phone number (I have other numbers).

Thirdly,I posted above that I called him but he was a bit distant and cold bu polite.

That's why I think that he is a bit confused,he is of two minds about me!!

I should say that he has an exaggerated sense of pride and I think it's the source of this confusion!!

Simply put, when YOU decided to break up with him, you broke his heart..im guessing he was hurt and after 2 years of bad communication and no communication he forgot all about you and moved on, then all of a sudden your in his life again, trying to make things back to what they were - things cant ever go back to what they were..not even as friends.

you need to deal with your issues as he has delt with his. your talking about him alot and obviously havnt gotten over him if its been 2 years, you need to meet face to face, apolagise for your behaviour, even tell him you still love him if you do but be aware the fact he could turn around and say well i dont love you. if you think you could handle that kind of rejection go for it. but try and look a little deeper..is he with some one new now? is he happy..if he is then like some people up there said - LEAVE HIM BE. concentrate on healing yourself and let him get on with things. when he is ready to talk, he will.

hope you feel better about this and get things sorted.

IBE

Yeah,IBE you are so right!!!

I really wanted to fix things with him,during these 2 years I was trying to get over him but this relationship is still an unresolved issue in my life.

I can't close this chapter,I really get depressed,I can't help thinking about this whole issue but all what I'm doing is overanalysing things.

I really want to talk to him openly this is what I intended by calling him but the call was quick and short and I didn't yhave the opportunity to settle matters!!!

I think if he's with someone else then you have to move on. He knows he could be with you and yet hasn't done anything about it. He's moving on and you're making it harder for him.

If you can't leave him alone then tell him straight up what your feelings are but be aware that you could get rejected. I think it would be good to get things off your shoulders and see what happens then IF you do get rejected you could finally move on...

^ agree.

Dont let things fester. It isnt good. I know some people are telling you to leave him be but when your still in love with the guy its hard to see straight - i understand that. Thats why you have to sort it all out now, not later. If he has moved on then i cant see him chatting with you like an adult about past issues being a problem...but for some people it is.

Hope you resolve this soon if anything just to get peace of mind.
IBE

^^

Yeah it's very hard,I'm not peaceful inside,maybe he has moved on,I'm considering this point but I'm a bit puzzeled.

I'll try to work things out,after all I have nothing to lose,in both cases I'll win wether I'll be with him or I'll move on peacefully.

He is far too proud to try to contact me,there have been a lot of pride issues between us.

It's his way to show he is happy without me by talking to me coldly and not responding to my txt message,he could really talk normally.

Why is he trying to make feel that he moved on and doesn't care at all about me?

I think if he has really moved on he would have answered my text message just to say thanks!!!

What do you think?

My ex sends me texts every once in a while asking a question about something random. Yes, I could simply answer his question, but by doing so I would open that door of communication, and he may think I actually want to talk to him.

Maybe he didn't answer your text with a 'Thanks!!' because if he did, you would continue trying to talk with him, when that's not what he wants. In my opinion, I would rather someone not respond to my messages than lead me on.

If he doesn't respond to your texts doesn't that give you a clue that he isn't interested in you???

You're just waiting for one of us to say OMG YES HE DOES WANT TO BE WITH YOU, GO FOR IT!!!
but no..NONE of us have said that.

Guys I really really appreciate your honesty so thanks a lot for your help ^^

I want to tell you that I was not harassing him over the phone even when we were together,I make it sound like if it was just to wish him a new year (for the text message) and to ask about him and apologize if my text message bothers him (for the call)

So I sent text message and call once and I totally disappeared (I feel a lot better after doing this!).

I agree with you when you said that you won't answer,but it has been two years,I think it's quite enough to will behave more positively towards an ex.

I mean,after two years,you forget all your feelings both bad and good and automatically you'll react normally to a call,I mean you'll speak normally but I felt some bitterness in his voice.

Beside,just a few days before I sent him the text message he called me from a private number (I'm sure it's him)so that's why I'm puzzeled!!

"I mean,after two years,you forget all your feelings both bad and good and automatically you'll react normally to a call,I mean you'll speak normally but I felt some bitterness in his voice."

Sometimes i still feel hate towards my ex and we split 2 years ago. Its his emotion, you cant tell him or anyone that he should be over it.

If i was you and wanted peace of mind, id delete him from everything - internet and phone numbers and such. Not being able to contact him for a while might make you a little nuuty but in a few weeks time you will have sorted your feelings out. I was better for it and im sure you will be too.

But yeah if he is still ignoring you, id let him go be happy even if it hurts you. Take Care. IBE

Yeah ^^

This is what I did,I mean I deleted his number not to be tempted to call him.

I wanted to understand what's going on in his head.

I should say that I was really surprised by his behaviour,I mean I thought he was over this story and doesn't have any negative feelings towards me.

So I could understand that his reaction was a sort of a ''pay back'' and I'm totally understanding because at the beginning I had those thoughts but then I healed with time,and maybe it's not the case for him.

I see my advice is not needed, since I completely agree with Amanda 100%. Especially about deleting this thread, it SCREAMS obsession.

He probably had a bitter tone in his voice because he didn't expect your call/text and probably didn't want to communicate with you at all. He probably thought it was RANDOM and STRANGE that you would talk to him after two years.

He obviously doesn't want you in his life. Forget/delete his number!

^^

Ok guys,thanks a lot for trying to help me,it's very kind of you.

Yeah right,I agree with you,I'm letting my emotions get the best of me that's why my judgement is clouded.

So I'll delete his number and put myself in the mood of getting over him.

Thanks a bunch guys,I really appreciate and I do value your opinions and advice^^