Caring..

So my boyfriend likes to call me during my lunch and on thursday he did and i gave it to my guy friend as was like just say randomness, not knowing it wasn't my bf on the line but his friends.

His friends didn't like what my friend had to say and was going to beat my friend up. When I talked to my bf he said he had nothing to do with it, I told him that they cant beat my friend up cause he did nothing, I told him if they want to beat up my friend it would be between me and him (id break up with him) my friends that are like family come before any guy even him. He got mad and said there was no way he could forgive me and that it seems that my friend ismore special and means more to me then him.

Its all childish games for sure, but he refuses to talk to me and just says good night and then ignores me to the rest of the day. I apooliged and everything cause I take the blame for it but all he says is 'uh huh' Give him his space let him think what he wants or..?

Calm it down, give avii a break

He didn't say anyting rude first off he jsut said Hi in a -gay- voice, and it was my boyfriends friends that called not my bf I assumed it was my bf cause no one is calls from his number and he DOESNT mindmy friend jokign around.

and his friends are these tough guys and they already hate me so they wantd to beat him up. In the end his friends said they would back off..so now its between me and him and yes its my fault.

yes i know i was wrong for what i said I admit that, it was my fault from the start..it was one little mistake I made I regretted it the moment I said it but..

&& you didn't say anyting wrong its fine if you dont' sugar coat things. Thanks for your advice

"He got mad and said there was no way he could forgive me and that it seems that my friend ismore special and means more to me then him."

^ Isn't it true? You did say that, "...my friends that are like family come before any guy even him."

This problem is between his friends and yours. Your boyfriend tells you he didn't know what was going on and you didn't know either. Yet you still put the blame on him and give him an ultimatum? That "punishment" doesn't fit the "crime". I understand that your friends are more like family to you and that you wouldn't put anyone else before them (mine are too, but my partner is also both my friend and family, that makes them equals and means that I treat them equally), but "punishing" someone who didn't do anything wrong for the wrongful actions of others is in itself wrong. And two wrongs don't make a right. You say that this problem is between you and him, but the problem seems to be more one-sided (on your part).

I'm not saying that trying to defend your friend is wrong, that talking to your boyfriend about it is wrong or that his friends aren't in the wrong for overreacting, but your way of going about it is wrong. You are angry at his friends, yet you restrain yourself from directing your anger towards them and instead project your anger onto your boyfriend. That is a self-defense mechanism called Projection. When people use this defense mechanism it is usually due to social or personal restraints. I think you directed your anger towards your boyfriend instead of the people who made you angry in the first place because there are more than just one person you are angry with, you say that they don't like you and are "tough" as well as that you feel guilty about not being able to confront them. To me, it seems you are too intimidated by them to confront them and feel guilty for that, thus, instead take your anger out on someone who isn't intimidating. Although, that didn't make you feel any less guilty.

Personally, I don't blame him one bit. You should give him his space. There's nothing you can do if he doesn't want to talk to you, doesn't want to accept your apology or if he doesn't want to be with you. You're just going to have to accept whatever consequences come your way. You could try talking to him, but, actions speak louder than words. The best thing might be just for you to confront his friends and leave him out of it.

No I know I take all the blame for it .. The thing is I would confront his friends but I dont know them . Its kinda a long distance relationship. I only know one of friends that had nothing to do with the situation.
&& I knew what was goimg on he didnt, but he never likd my friends in the first place so hes like hes not doing anything to stop them.

Yeah I know I approched it very wrong .. I realuzed it the moment I said eveything I put all the blame on myswlf . Everyone else was givinv me ultimatums so I guess I kinda thought it was right, sorry, cause my friends are like im diluted so that seemed so right. Hell ive gottem him in more trouble now anyways. Some one saw me amd him together and told his parents noe I cant even contact him. I dont know I guess everything works out for the best .Now I can learn to 'grow up'

thanks guys for all the help :)

"The thing is I would confront his friends but I dont know them ."

^ There's a first time for everything.

"...but he never likd my friends in the first place so hes like hes not doing anything to stop them."

^ How could he not like your friend if you say that he doesn't mind your friend calling him and joking around?

You can't tell him to keep his friends in check like you would, for example, tell him to keep his dog on a leash. They aren't dogs and he doesn't own them; they're his friends and he has no control of them, they're going to say what they want.

Well like no, he doesnt like the fact that I have guy friends and my fgirl friends hate him, he doesnt mind the guys jokin around with him not with me. hes really over protective and jelous he admits that.

yeah I know I was wrong for what I said. I had something good, and I went and ruined it.

thanks for your help

Just for future refrence, it is never good to threaten your significant other with their friends. First off, he was probably friends with them long before he ever met you. Even though you hold the title of being a girlfriend, you shouldn't think you hold a higher title in his life than his friends do. The title of this forum was was caring, and I would like to believe that everyone cares for everyone in their lives. No matter if it's their grandma, boyfriend, uncle, ect ect. I know where you are coming from. So technically you were asking him to stop caring for someone in order to keep caring for you?

I know where you are coming from though. My new boyfriend has rather immature friends even though many of them should be grown men by now. There isin't much I can do except turn my head the other way and aviod arguements and such.

Oh eah I knew that from the start it was kinda just a thing that kinda just sqirted out when I was mad. No I was not asking for him to stop caring for them I just asked if he could sort things out with them. He thought that I cared for my friend more thats what it seemd.

Yeah your definatly right, well I guess I knew but yeah now I know for next time. I mean I cant make things right now he's gone I have no contact with him what so ever :(