Applications now open for Moderator position!

Disclaimer: This has a fun yet fictional purpose and is not an official thread posted by anyone with any power to judge your applications. Feel free to apply even if you don't want to be a moderator, or if you already are one.
Make sure your avatar is wearing a nicely ironed shirt and that you behave thoughtfully, honestly and outrageously in the following audition which involves an interview and some tasks.
Thank you for your time. I won't call you.

What Moderator-worthy qualities do you have?

What is your knowledge of the current Mod team? Describe each of them in five words.

How do you think you will fit in?

Would you bring any new ideas to the way this site is moderated? Make a list.

How passionate are you about this site? Write a brief poem about it.

You see a thread entitled "I HATE ASIANS". Do you:
A) Delete the thread
B) Delete the thread and PM the poster
C) Lock the thread
D) Lock the thread and PM the poster
E) Monitor the thread, issuing warnings and modifying posts if necessary
F) Reply with "YEAH, THEY SMELL"

If Janis was a metaphor, what would he be?

Do you ACTUALLY want to be a moderator?

LoL.

They know where to find me.

Lame! I'm getting ready for my audition tomorrow, suckerrrrrrs.

1) Well I'm playful, rash, suspend-happy, post hating deleter...But that's all I can think

2) britt: Republican (and that's a description), a lil bit of country and rock and roll, fiery, lovely, smart.
Joe: Boring, funny, diplomatic, squirrely, clever,
Ann: cat lover, funny, kind, bubbly, a lil bit weird
Illu: kind, caring, eccentric,, the only man to understand ddavidd...lol,flaky
Bob: Oddly extreme, funny, an irony (biker whose conservative in this site), optimistically pessimistic, wise
Sher: creative, acronymn obsessive, funny, balanced, intelligent

3)I would change the first rule, too interpretive, I would be more liberal with the way I mod this site, I would be independant but also support the mod union (by the way thanks for unionizing the mods Kevin), I'll be sugar and spice with everything nice, with a little extra bottle of tobasco added with just a little...I would bring hell on these boards and bring misery to all you kiddies MUHAHAHA...But other than that the site will be fine...

4) We can't write a poem
On these pinky boards today, yet
irony is me..

5)D with a little bit of E

6) Janis had a prom today, apathy is his gown, carelessness is his prom queen crown, all the while his PnQ love-child is in child-care with a bulldog frown.

7) Honestly no...

Alright. For the record, I don't want to be a moderator.

What Moderator-worthy qualities do you have?
I'm fair, genuine, likable, and I have love for my fellow man ;) Also, I have a belief in the moderator system and its purpose. I think I'd be a flippin' great moderator. A+ material.

What is your knowledge of the current Mod team? Describe each of them in five words.
Bob = extreme, spiteful, domineering, immovable, adorable
Illuminati = weird, giggly, little fairy man
Britt = sweet, manipulatable, conservative, good intentions
Joe = dopey, lion-hearted, fair, honest, sappy
Can't think of a 5th mod...

How do you think you will fit in?
Welp, Bob and I would likely clash. I have compassion for the old fart, but we don't see eye to eye on most things.
Illuminati cracks me up. Nothing more to say there.
Britt and I would probably get along fine.
Joe and I are friends.

Would you bring any new ideas to the way this site is moderated? Make a list.
I think the moderators have been doing an alright job lately. They've gone a bit nut-so in the past, but things have recently stabilized. However, I might be less inclined to harbor personal vendettas against clubs/members than some of the current mods.

How passionate are you about this site? Write a brief poem about it.
Pretty passionate. I'll probably never leave :\
Am I allowed to write a poem here?
I think it's ridiculous we can't write poetry in all areas of the forums. The flow of conversation would pick up if that stupid rule was done away with.
So forgive me, I'll have to decline.

You see a thread entitled "I HATE ASIANS". Do you:
A) Delete the thread
B) Delete the thread and PM the poster
C) Lock the thread
D) Lock the thread and PM the poster
E) Monitor the thread, issuing warnings and modifying posts if necessary
F) Reply with "YEAH, THEY SMELL"

For comedic purposes, I'd say (F), but that's not very realistic. Probably delete the thread and PM the poster.

If Janis was a metaphor, what would he be?
Santa Clause. He ain't comin', kids.

Do you ACTUALLY want to be a moderator?

No. I guess I'd give it a shot sometime if the rest of the moderators wanted me. I don't feel strongly about it one way or the other. I don't desire more power than I have, nor do I have heaps of time to spare.
So yeah, no. No thank you.

Lol..ok lets dance..

What Moderator-worthy qualities do you have?

I love poetry, like a good discussion and don't approve of people being rude. I'm also rather fond of this site, despite it's many faults.

What is your knowledge of the current Mod team? Describe each of them in five words.

Bob = stubborn,experienced,harsh, sarcastic,amusing
Illuminati = irratic,extreme,energetic,glib,ok
Britt = intelligent,defensive,aware,considerate,wacky
Joe = conservative,open,dedicated,friendly,mature

How do you think you will fit in?

Well, time was I used to be well respected as a Mod, so they said. However, once I removed myself their opinion of me seemed to change rather quickly. I think I could fit in, but it would take some adjustment period.

Would you bring any new ideas to the way this site is moderated? Make a list.

Might push for a wee rules rewrite, but really all I'd be interested in doing is kickstarting the boards and making sure people knew there was a voice in the mods that wasn't scared of calling out other Mods if they acted badly.

How passionate are you about this site? Write a brief poem about it.

P and Q, phew!
Why the other day I made a thread
about dear God, and other fables
I take some heat, thought I'd soon dead
turns out God had turned the tables.

You see a thread entitled "I HATE ASIANS". Do you:
A) Delete the thread
B) Delete the thread and PM the poster
C) Lock the thread
D) Lock the thread and PM the poster
E) Monitor the thread, issuing warnings and modifying posts if necessary
F) Reply with "YEAH, THEY SMELL"

B) that is a rascist thread..sorry, read the rules...

If Janis was a metaphor, what would he be?

A crap one, like the kind of mince you see on a sticker.

Do you ACTUALLY want to be a moderator?

I sure do.

What Moderator-worthy qualities do you have?

I think I am fair and just, open minded, always honest and I don't do favoritism.

What is your knowledge of the current Mod team? Describe each of them in five words.

Britt- Mature, funny, honest
Illuminatti-Sweet, emotional,wonderful poet,Borat (LOL!)
Joe- Does something with the coding
Bob- Kissed me on the head

How do you think you will fit in?

I can get along well with a diverse group of people.Not sure how others that I don't know very well would interpret my assertiveness and honesty.

Would you bring any new ideas to the way this site is moderated? Make a list.

It would be nice if the Mods took turns posting a weekly discussion thread to help get the main boards more interesting and active.

I don't know what effort has been put into getting a hold of Janis or the other phantom to get some authorization to make some changes since they don't seem to be accessible or do much of anything that we are aware of.... and he is the owner so if he isn't communicating or giving anyone else who is active the authorization to make changes, I don't know what to say? How about a Revolution?

You see a thread entitled "I HATE ASIANS". Do you:

I would delete the thread and suspend the poster permanently if that was one of my choices.

If Janis was a metaphor, what would he be?

A Phantom

Do you ACTUALLY want to be a moderator?

I never really thought about it.

What Moderator-worthy qualities do you have?

I like to sit around and do nothing as I gripe and complain about how unfair the mods. are on this site

What is your knowledge of the current Mod team? Describe each of them in five words.

Bob- way to strict... follows rules

Illu.- actually cares about poems (how dare he)

Joe - Too friendly...

Britt - Too shy

Ann - Loves her cat

Sher- who is that? An egotistical, overcritical, rude moderator that does nothing...

How do you think you will fit in?

I am not prejudice... I hate everyone equally

Would you bring any new ideas to the way this site is moderated? Make a list.

Give the site back to Janis... and let everyone do or say what they wanted...

How passionate are you about this site? Write a brief poem about it.

Poetry is not allowed in a post...

Passion... what's that?

You see a thread entitled "I HATE ASIANS". Do you:
A) Delete the thread
B) Delete the thread and PM the poster
C) Lock the thread
D) Lock the thread and PM the poster
E) Monitor the thread, issuing warnings and modifying posts if necessary
F) Reply with "YEAH, THEY SMELL"

Reply with "They hate you too"

If Janis was a metaphor, what would he be?

Transparent

Do you ACTUALLY want to be a moderator?

Sure.. I want POWER and to be paid for it also

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

All joking aside.. I think we have a great mod team in effect and I would not trade any of them.

Everyone of them is hard working and truly passionate about this site.

I applaud the other mods for all their effort and hard work.

I dont know anyone on here except for britt

britts pretty awesome-sorry only 3 words...

so is this thing about people trying to become a mod?

i rememeber, when i used to want to become a mod. lol.

Ddivibb,

Maybe some of has have chosen not to write any poetry in a while due to out side sources. I have not lost my ability to read and write, but merely the time to do so.

I also have not participated on the boards in quiet a while because until recently I was in college for twelve hrs. a day trying to finish my senior year up.

So before you jump in a pot of fire and start throwing flames I ask that you step back and see what is taking place in the other person's life first.

LOl, Sher, don't waste your time trying to talk reason with Ddivibb. He doesn't know one end from the other.

Okay, here is my application. I hope I don't drown in the flood of offers that is sure to follow. I'm wearing my best skirt, the one I call Scarlett Triumphant.

What Moderator-worthy qualities do you have?
Firstly, I can be quite seductive. Seducation is an essential tool to hold any position in power with superb manipulation AND absolute adoration from the citizens. I think this quality would be a valuable new asset to the current team.

Secondly, I am a member of THE CLUB, which is the ancient overblown Capulet to the Moderators' Montague. Adopting a member of this duelling clan would be akin to a PnQ global peace handshake and ease the bickering from both sides, while any future Mod-related decisions, rules and errors in judgment will be viewed with rosier glasses.

Thirdly, I'm not too "extreme", except in height. And height doesn't even matter on the internet. I am stable without being set in my ways. I am passionate without being blind and deaf. There is a reason Moderator has the word moderate in it.

Fourthly, and most importantly, I can read and write English.

The most perfect goddam mod ever, basically.

What is your knowledge of the current Mod team? Describe each of them in five words.
Bob- influential cultivator of stylised arseholeness
Joe- GEEK! Made of mushy goodness.
Britt- fair, direct, unpretentious, anti-Barbie figure
Illuminati- volatile, supercilious seeker and protector
Sher- Probably religious, maternal, easily influenced
Ann- dedicated follower/facilitator of regulations

How do you think you will fit in?
As long as Joe listens to Celine Dion elsewhere and Illuminati stops pitying my soul, I'll fit in fine!

Would you bring any new ideas to the way this site is moderated? Make a list.

1. Make a grouped "Happy Birthday" thread for everyone. It is ridiculous that a poetry site should have a grouped thread for the discussion of books but not this tediom. We have more HB threads being sprouted than poems being written.

2. Have a weekly poem analysis thread-- sort of like what ddavidd was doing before he left, but without the "marvel at my mystic prowess" element. This poem may even be from this site, taken with the author's permission.

3. Always have a story thread running. Games and fiction are needed to lighten any weary poet's heart and makes a flimsy pen start running again.

4. Ensure that I am on the same page as my fellow mods by helping to develop some sort of Mod reference guide (unless there already is one) for consultation over difficult situations, and for members to refer to regarding any appeals made over mod decisions.

5. Alter the rule about poetry in posts. We all agree it is stupid and we can easily override it. Poetry should be allowed if it is being freshly written especially for a particular post, by that inspired moment of thought. This does not make it advertising pre-made goods, but a form of expression. This IS a poetry site, right?

6. Hunt down Janis and leave a turd in his letterbox. A collection of poems by "~i~LoVe~HiM~wItH~mY~cRiMsOn~WrIsT~tEaRs" will do.

How passionate are you about this site? Write a brief poem about it.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I hate this verse
as much as I love PnQ

now that is saying something!

You see a thread entitled "I HATE ASIANS". Do you:
A) Delete the thread
B) Delete the thread and PM the poster
C) Lock the thread
D) Lock the thread and PM the poster
E) Monitor the thread, issuing warnings and modifying posts if necessary
F) Reply with "YEAH, THEY SMELL"

D. State the reason for locking thread for all members to read. PM poster with an e-fart, or penalise if already warned.

If Janis was a metaphor, what would he be?
A cliche: has lost its original meaning, can't be helped, ineffectual, an eternal and lazy excuse, loathed by poets.

Do you ACTUALLY want to be a moderator?
Let me put it this way. Did Jesus ever WANT to be the son of God?

Say, I think we have a winner.

Your application was also a whole-hearted effort, Jane, give yourself some credit. You almost had me sweating for a while there.

Any more applications, or shall I announce myself the winner? What about you, Britt? I'd better prepare my acceptance speech anyhow.

Well I can't take the lack of anticipation. I forfeit!