Advice please.

Okay he talks to other girls on the computer...i know it aint in person but it hurts just the same...ive caught him like 3 times talkin to some girl. we've been together for a year now...i know he hasnt cheated physically but it feels like it...he gets mad when i accuse him of doing it...and he still doing it. what do i do???

First and only warning, please no profanity, especially when talking about women you don't even know.

What are the nature of the conversations he has with other girls? Do you not speak to other guys? Would you want him to worry every time you did?

He calls them sexy and that good stuff i dont do that.

Why would he talk to other girls like that? He obviously doesn't respect you. You need to have a serious talk with him and get it straight through his head that it isn't right.

Like you said, he may not have been physically cheating, but you don't have to physically or sexually be with another person to cheat or for it to be called cheating. In my opinion (if you are the person who is being accused of cheating) if you are talking to other people, seeing other people or otherwise saying or doing something that you feel you need to hide from your spouse out of fear because you feel you are doing something wrong then it's cheating. And (if you are the person who believes they are being cheated on) if you feel like your relationship with the other person will be or is being threatened then it's cheating.

I have a friend who's been through what you are going through right now. Her one and off ex-boyfriend of two years got drunk and high daily, cheated on her (physically to an extent but mostly non-physically, as far as we know) and says demeaning things about her to other people (and of course uses the alcohol and drugs as an excuse). He slapped several of her girl friends butts right in front of her and talked to other girls behind her back. He would call them sexy and hot and even went as far to tell another girl that, sexually, doing it with her was like doing it with old, mashed potatoes.

In regards to your problem, I'll tell you what I told her: It's one thing to tell another girl that they look pretty or beautiful, say for example looking at their recent grad photos, but it's another thing to tell them they look sexy or hot, for example in a two-piece at the beach. Those kind of remarks, to me, sound like they have sexual undertones. It could be just me, however I don't know anyone else besides my boyfriend or other guys trying to hit on me who call me sexy or hot. Some people maybe don't see it that way and don't have a problem with it; others do and there's nothing wrong about that. I also know some girls are prone to overreact or misinterpret things, for whatever insecurity issues. Please keep in mind, I'm not trying to say you're overreacting or are misinterpreting things and am not trying to make excuses or stick up for your boyfriend by any means. I agree with you and understand how you feel, because I feel the same way you do. However, you said he gets mad when you accuse him of doing it. If he is doing it knowingly and is mad, he's unable to be honest with you and his guilty conscious is causing him to lash out; if he isn't doing it or is unintentionally and is mad, perhaps this is because he thinks you're overreacting or misinterpreting. Regardless, you should let him know that you don't have a problem with him talking to other girls or his friends who are girls (I'm sure you don't have a problem with that), but let him know that it's disrespectful to you to be saying they are sexy or hot.

I think your boyfriend is being disrespectful of you, whether he is or isn't intentionally or not talking with these girls in a sexual manner. He should understand and respect the fact that it makes you uncomfortable, not just shrug it off and expect you to get over it. You need to sit down together, you need to talk about it (in detail) and need to set boundaries.

Thank u all for the advice....sorry it took a few weeks to thank u but it helped. i really appreciate it.

Let us know what you decided to do about and how he reacted.