CONFUSED!!!!!!

I have feelings for two people at the same time. they both love me. is it right to love two people at same time? i feel guilty doing this...what to do?

You figure out what it is you want in life. We can't have our cake and eat it too. Someone will get hurt in the process and it will be at your hands no one elses. Is this something you want on your conscious?

Do either one of these know about the other? Know about your feelings for the other person? If not you have to ask yourself why you haven't told them. Playing with fire like this will get you burned. So to prevent that I'd sit down and figure out what it is you want. I'm a lists type of girl, I do better a figuring out things when I can visually see the pros and cons. Perhaps writing a list of pros and cons about each person.

I'd also suggest a book called 5 love languages. The beginning chapter really touches on 'new' relationships and love.

Here's a few good snip-its. Please just ignore the marraige part.

"Unfortunately, the eternality of the �in love� experience is fiction, not fact. Dr. Dorothy Tennov, a psychologist, has done long-range studies on the in-love phenomenon. After studying scores of couples, she concluded that the average life span of a romantic obsession is two years. If it is a secretive love affair, it may last a little longer. Eventually,
however, we all descend from the clouds and plant our feet on earth again. Our eyes are opened, and we see the warts of the other person. We recognize that some of his/her personality traits are actually irritating. Her behavior patterns are annoying. He has the capacity for hurt and anger, perhaps even harsh words and critical judgments. Those little traits that we overlooked when we were in love now become huge mountains. We remember Mother�s words and ask ourselves, How could I have been so foolish?"

"If we can agree that the word love permeates human
society, both historically and in the present, we must also agree that it is a most confusing word. We use it in a thousand ways. We say, �I love hot dogs,� and in the next breath, �I love my mother.� We speak of loving activities: swimming, skiing, hunting. We love objects: food, cars, houses. We love animals: dogs, cats, even pet snails. We love nature: trees, grass, flowers, and weather. We love people: mother, father, son, daughter, parents, wives, husbands, friends. We even fall in love with love."

"Child psychologists affirm that every child has certain basic emotional needs that must be met if he is to be emotionally stable. Among those emotional needs, none is more basic than the need for love and affection, the need to sense that he or she belongs and is wanted."

All by Gary Chapman

Follow your heart... Compare between them both and you and choose the most compatible person.

Bob... the voice of reason haha. It's true though.

Gotta agree with Bob here. I think you are faced with a perfect opportunity to forget about relationships and focus on yourself.

Just like me.but anyway i prefer to go with the one i am happy to be with...

Liquid Grace - no they both dont know about this.

Dark - hm yes you're kinda right.

Bob - isn't that kinda selfish act?? if i just think about myself, the persons who're attached to me will get hurted, if i only think about myself. & i don't wanna hurt them all.!

Silver - thanx ( :

Blue - you're right too, after all its all about happiness.

thanx all you luvly guys for guiding me ..bless y'all! (=

^^ Relationships don't always equal happiness.

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I think you should tell both boys how you feel about them, that you have feelings for another as well and that you are unsure of what action you should take.

I have to ask, where on Earth would you get that idea from that it would be "selfish" of you to choose yourself? Acknowledging their feelings and that they have feelings for you is good, it wouldn't be right to not acknowledge them, no ones telling you not to acknowledge that but rather that you should not feel pressured to have to make a decision right now, not if you are confused and unsure what to do. It is NOT "selfish" of you to choose not to pursue a relationship at this time or because of the situation you are in with either boys until you have a strong idea of who you would like to be with, who you have stronger feelings for or otherwise until you feel ready to make that decision. It IS selfish however to keep these two boys basically waiting on you, to not tell them that you have feelings for another person as well and to not give them a straight forward answer (yes or no) as to whether or not you want to be in a relationship right now or more importantly who.

Also, don't guilt trip yourself into thinking that you are "hurting" these boys if you choose not to pursue a relationship with either one of them at this time. You WOULD be hurting them however by keeping these two boys basically waiting on you, not telling them that you have feelings for another person as well and not giving them a straight forward answer (yes or no) as to whether or not you want to be in a relationship right now or more importantly who. Knowing that they were "lead on", I would suspect, would hurt more than you being straight forward and saying that you do not wish to pursue a relationship with either one, the other or both of them at this time. They would probably feel disrespected, cheated and lied to. Not to mention the more time and energy they invest into you the stronger their feelings may be, thus the more hurt they will be if you continue to drag this out and they learn the truth on their own.

No one is telling you to choose yourself because you are wrong for having feelings for two people. They're telling you to choose yourself above all because you should not feel pressured to make a decision right now if you are confused or otherwise unsure until you feel ready to make a decision and also because it is not fair to these two boys to keep them basically waiting on you.

Best thing to do in this kind of situation is to just be honest. You can make things a lot easier for yourself by being honest to yourself and with them. The truth will set you free.

I have one thing to say then.

Do you think you'd appreciate the fact that a guy you liked, liked another girl as well and didn't bother to tell you? Wouldn't you feel used, lied to etc? RElationships are based on trust. If you are going after two guys at once or thinking about it how are you being truthful not only to them but yourself? If you aren't telling them about the other that means that you're find a reason in hiding that from both of them. Why is that? Usually that means you feel it's wrong, that's the only time we ever feel the need to hide something from others.

No it's not selfish to choose yourself. Isn't it FAR more selfish to lead two guys on at the same time? Isn't it far more selfish to make them feel like the only one you have eyes for when you know there's another person? Welcome to being an adult and having to make decisions. This isn't the first hard decision you'll have to make in your life. Mid as well learn now that life is a bunch of choices. No one said it'd be easy but don't cop out and say "I don't want to hurt them." ultimately the more you play this little game of having them both the more you ARE hurting them. The longer you let this go on the harder it will get for EVERYONE involved. Take heed of that warning...

I'm in a situation where I like 2 guys who don't like me..... It's not wrong to love 2 guys because love isn't the kind of thing u can control

You should tell them that you like another guy and if they get mad at you about that then they aren't the right guy. I doubt they'll get mad and if one does i doubt the other one will too

Yes definitely...chose the one you are happy with and be ready to let go of the other one...