Cheating

I don't know if it is my place or not, but I'll ask anyways.

My fiance's sister is dating this guy who is friends with my fiance. She's been with him for about 2 yrs.
Now like 2 months ago she started a LDR with her ex while she's still with the other guy. I found out because I heard them talking on the phone and when she asked me to help her change her password on her facebook I kind of read some of her messages (I know that is wrong). My fiance and I confronted her and she just said that someone hacked her facebook, but the messages just kept on comming so I doubt that was it. Also I told her first b/f and he just said that it's all one big lie and she's only with him because he knows she wouldn't do something like that (and that's what she told him). Now I just found out that he posted on facebook wall (so I could see it) that they are really together and that he loves her. Now she and her first b/f fight all the time every day like 24/7 about anything and everything and her father and mother want them to break up because they are always fighting around them and she is always beating him up. I want her first b/f to really grasp the whole situation because I don't think it is fair how she is playing him. She also told the other guy that she pland to move to IOWA (where he lives) in like November or January (or somewhere around there) and I don't want her first b/f to be just dumped like that or strung along even further. But is it really my place to say anything so he doesn't get hurt or just let his little naive self get hurt because I should really be staying out ot it?

Tough situation... seems to me like both boyfriends know but are in denial. I think if you already told the boyfriend and he didn't want to do anything about it that you should just leave it at that. If they don't both know then you need to tell the other, since she is playing and you know that. I think you should talk to her first and help her make a choice, if she still has the same attitude, then you should tell both boyfriends and make the situation clear to them.

I'm actually very confused by your story. Can we keep it to BF and ex bf? That way it's understood who's who. Is the 'first boyfriend' the ex or is it your fiance's friend? Technically speaking the first bf is the ex. But I'm just not grasping that at all.

In any case this isn't your place, it sucks but you need to stay as far away from this as possible. Tell those coming to you that you will happily listen but that you ant no part nor will you offer any advice.

Although you kind of created a big problem for yourself by going to your friends BF in the first place. Nothing good ever comes from being the person who 'tells' more often then not the parties involved will believe their spouses/bf/gf over an outsider. You should only ever mention someone cheating if you have proof.

Take this as a lesson learned and next time have that proof or say nothing at all. Because then it turns into a he said she said and you will always loose as a person never wants to think their lover is hurting them.

Point is unless you have actual proof no one will believe you and you will cause a huge problem for yourself then anyone else. It's not up to you to tell anyone anything. If anyone says anything it should be your Fiance and he should mention something along the lines that he knows who the guy is.

Again though think about this logically. Would you believe someone coming to you and telling you, your fiance was cheating with no proof? Would you truly give this stranger or friend the benefit of the doubt over your partner? I'd like to hope not. Not until you have the actual proof.

^^ I do have proof...I have the messages from her facebook and have showed them to her boyfriend of 2yrs. He was in total denial about them. Her other boyfriend (that was her ex until like 2 months ago) knows about her other boyfriend. She told the guy she's only gotten back with 2 months ago that she really wants to be with him and will eventually break it off with her other boyfriend. The other boyfriend of 2yrs has no clue about anything exept what I showed him and he will not believe it because he asked her about it and she denied the whole thing. Also she is planning to move to Iowa to be with her boyfriend of 2months in the beginning of next yr, so her boyfriend of 2yrs will get screwed so to speak if she doesn't get the guts to tell him before then. That's why I am trying to stop him from getting more hurt then he needs because she isn't being fair to him. I think she should just break it off with him if she really wants to be with the other guy.

Show him with something more than a facebook status or messages. You need something tangible; a photo, a phone call... something that catches her in the act of cheating. I would tell you to leave it now, you told him and he didn't believe you, so don't go any further. If you happen to stumble upon more evidence, then use it, but don't look for it. You'll only make yourself feel bad, and you'll be wasting time.

^ I will do just that and leave things alone.