Looking for funny quotes

Anyone got any good funny quotes?

May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the crotch of the person who screws up your entire day...and may their arms be too short to scratch.

i dont know about you, but i find this one very funny...

^ ooo harsh..
heres one that i found that i thought u mignt be able to use,

Last night i dreamed i ate a ten-pound marshmellow
and when i woke up the pillow was gone.
Tommy Cooper

i have no clue who that is but i like the quote.

Thanks I like both of those

your welcome :)