How do I tell my parents that I'm moving out without them hating

That moment when you turn 18 and can leave home, live with friends and experience life on your own has arrived for me. But my mom will freak if I do. I don't party, drink or do anything like that but she seems to think I'm going to do that stuff when I leave. I need to leave. She has a habit of bring emotionally abusive, not that I'm old enough I'm leaving. But she's still my mom and I love her so maintaining a good relationship would be desired.

It's a safe environment that I would be moving in to. I would be living with a couple good friends and my boyfriend whom I've been in love with for three years.

How do I do this? Tell her that this is something I need to do? Just go? I really don't know how to handle this. I'm so scared and confused. I really need to get out on my own. I can do it safely but I just don't want to hurt my mom.

Any advice?

I really think you need to just sit down with her and tell her you're moving out. You're an adult and want to act like it, this is a part of that. It's uncomfortable for sure. I wouldn't get into the details of being emotionally abusive and needing to get away etc.

I would also make sure you let her know you'll still be in contact and then make sure not to fall off the face of the earth to her. It's a huge adjustment, check in, let her know you're not dead in a ditch somewhere.

Believe it or not, so many people actually have a better relationship with their parents after they have moved out. It moves on from being the teenage child/parent relationship to the friendship part of it as you get older.

She is your mother and will have thought about this day coming a lot I am sure. If you are really struggling to talk to her just write her a letter explaining how this is a positive thing for you and how you feel ok about doing it.

Give her reassurance this is your choice and its a good choice and not just doing it because friends are forcing you to etc.

It will maybe take some time for everyone to adjust to the new situation but give it a few months and everything will work out for a better and I think you may all have a better relationship.

Good luck on your move.

When you're 18, your parents probably still view you as their little kid. It's unavoidable. I would do as Britt says and ask them to sit down with you to have a mature talk. Probably their biggest worry would be that you haven't thought things through. So.... think them through before you talk to them.

1. Do you have a steady and dependable income? Will you be able to pay rent consistently every month with plenty left over? Is your job stable, or is there a chance you could lose it? Can you handle paying utilities?

2. Do you have everything you need, like a bed, dressers, kitchen supplies, computer, router, etc? Since you'll be living with roommates you can share some of those responsibilities, but keep in mind that the cost of those "getting started" things will probably be greater than you're expecting.

3. They will probably also be concerned about you living with your boyfriend, so you'll want to think through how you'll address that topic. It might not be as bad, since you're living with other people too, but will you be sharing a room? Would this be an issue, if so? The freedom of living with your boyfriend sounds really attractive... no curfews, no rules, lots of freedom... but that's not the best reason to live with someone.

4. You'll also want to think through the possibility that you and your boyfriend could break up. I know it's not something people want to plan, but people change a ton in those late teen / early 20's years as they're learning how to be independent, and sometimes people grow apart. If that happens, do you have a contingency plan? Would you be able to move back home, or afford rent on your own? Conversely, would you be prepared to live in the same house as an ex-boyfriend? (One of my best friends had this scenario. She'd been in a serious relationship, living with this guy for about three years. Then he unexpectedly broke up with her. Unfortunately, they had a joint bank account, two cats, and nearly a year left on their lease together, and she couldn't afford to live anywhere else and pay two sets of rent. Awkward.)

Basically, just make sure you've thought through all of the scenarios, both for your own sake and so that you can show your parents that this isn't just a whim of yours. Present a mature, responsible, thoughtful and organized front. They still might not love the idea, but it will DEFINITELY go over better. If you are set on going, be firm on that point, but let them know that you're willing to talk things through with them, and that you would prefer to have their approval. Don't let it turn into a teen/parent rebellious struggle, if you know what I mean.