Formed poetry challenge #6 and 6b

Hi all,

As Hellon suggested I have begun a new thread for challenge 6.
I have also left it open for Hellon to add her own challenge (6b)

The next form is a Haibun
I cannot take the credit for this challenge, I found it here;

http://www.poems-and-quotes.com/threads/143976

3 years ago 'Greeter' suggested this challenge on the contests threads.

Details of the Haibun form can be found here;

http://www.baymoon.com/~ariadne/form/haibun.htm

it looks a bit more difficult than it is, it's good practice for aspiring writers.

have fun!

Thanks Darren.

Challenge 6b

Trois-par-Huit

http://www.shadowpoetry.com/resources/wip/troisparhuit.html

I'm Transfixed

Morning hush
greets sun's first gentle blush
droplets of dew, accumulating

crystallized upon silken cobwebs shimmering
prism of colours dance in shadows reflecting

translucent rainbows in early mist
nature's illusionist
I'm transfixed.

I think...between the two of us Darren, we have them stumped laddie??? Unless...yeah...unless :)

I think I have stumped myself, I will have another look at these tonight.

Busy day today.

And so the challenges continue, so first a stab at Hellon's chosen form:

Such delight

I can see
although its new to me
how this small poetic form is penned

A poem that hasn’t yet driven me round the bend
although I am yet to finish and reach the end

but now I see this form as write
which did not take all night
such delight

Good effort Michael.
Just a couple of little things that can easily be fixed...

A poem that hasn’t yet driven me round the bend
^^^

I say poem as one syllable but when I checked it actually has two giving a total count of 13 but you could replace it with the word verse.

but now I see this form as write

^^^

I'm only counting 8 syllables here and there should be 9 so, perhaps..

now I see this form as being write Also should it be right?

Just something for you to mull over while you're writing your Haibun masterpiece lol!

6b) No more doom

looking at
the way you walk like that
still amazes me that you are mine

for you are quite simply and sincerely divine
your smile brightens me up and allows me to rhyme

you make me laugh when darkness does loom
your love outshines the gloom;
no more doom.

Very well done Em. Anyone else???? :) :)

Yes, but I'm so busy at the moment. I'm happy to post it here in the next few days if you want to move on.

I have cheated slightly I have written both about the same thing.

firstly

6) The Ankerwycke Yew (Haibun)

As I wander through the Willows and Yews by the water, it hits me. Everything these great flora beasts have seen. A mere 2000 years old in comparison to the millions of years this earth has turned. Yet my forty years just a falling leaf in time. I wonder what more they will witness.

suns and moons many
new life, more death, such carnage
tries to forget wars.

And

6b) Ankerwycke (Trois-par-huit)

Flora beast
the planter long deceased
survived battles by cannon then planes

seen birds born, children christened, fire, steel and bloodstains
lived through frost, snow, a winter blanket, heavy rains
cried for others, burnt like candlewick

Yew stood proud, tall and thick
Ankerwycke

my attempts:

6

bird song (haibun)

Along the frosty, crisp pickled perambulating path,

I stop.

A sound?

I wait…

like a fluting penny whistle slicing the winter wind, messages of hope are sent…

winter wind brings
the robin's long song

warming my heart

6b

bird - song - sweet (trois-par-huit)

there upon
a morning mist… a song
that drifts, consists of melody bliss

…revives my being alive, with a daybreak kiss
a fairy tale, retell, a timing, rhyming wish

to hold within my soul, your replete
rolling gossamer sheet:
bird - song - sweet

All fab so far! I want to try but I'll have to come back to this when I get a mo x
=^.^=

well done everybody so far, great efforts.

both of these are forms I have never attempted before so I couldn't delve into the doldrums.

I love to delve. Like you, I found nothing but cobwebs and some half eaten, fluff covered toffees.

Darren and Michael (Mr.D) do you plan on adding to your Haibun? I don't mean right now..but in the future? Will you follow your chosen subject to see the progression/regression?

i may do, need to look at the form a bit more first.

Sorry for coming late to the party. Here is my offering:

Lady of the Lines (haibun)

In a South Peruvian desert, leaving no codex, pre-Incan Nazcans carved hundreds of permanent shapes - geometrical, creatures, plants - on which archaeologist Maria Reiche spent her lifetime earnings to extol preservation. UNESCO and Peru now protect her legacy.

Standing on ladders
woman expressed profound lines
ancient people spoke

And a Trois-par-Huit

Mandela Mandala - The Unmoved

Much patience
met by opposition
as society turns against you

harsh waves continually break confident soul
sand beneath your feet is dragged out to hungry sea

until you settle on sound hard clay
so in the end remain
the unmoved

Yes,,I plan to cover the other seasons.

Larry...can you have another look at the rules for a Trois-par-Huit.

http://www.shadowpoetry.com/resources/wip/troisparhuit.html

totally ignored the rhyme scheme! Wow. Mind is still in free fall.

Okay 2nd try on the Trois-par-Huit

Of One Will

Intertwined
desires fully aligned
where you end perhaps I do begin

closer you are now to me than a conjoined twin
we don’t even mind that we share what we have been

inseparable and yet equal
we are our own sequel
of one will

And revised the first disaster:

Mandela

Suspicion
met by opposition
lock you away on an island hole

harsh waves break incessant against this captain’s soul
sand underfoot dragged out to hungry sea takes toll.

Still you dance to beat of your kwela
non-violent fellah
Mandela