Formed Poetry challenge #8

Hi All

It looks like the shadow sonnet has us all stumped. It is a difficult form and if anybody is still willing feel free to post in challenge #7.

Now onto this challenge
It is a Haiku or Senryu, but with a difference.
I want you to take any poem from your account and compact It into either a Haiku or Senryu.
As poets and creative people we tend to be a fountain of filler words or can go off on a wild tangent of stanzas.
Can you take a masterpiece and rein it into a 5,7,5 three line poem?

An example below of my poem 'What is love'
I once posted it as a senryu, I cannot find it as it was on my former account so this morning rewrote it.

What is love

How do you know........the moment is here
Is it the longing, yearning....or the anger when torn apart
a minute alone a lifetime wasted, does hearing her name excite you
sharing a moment, knowing it was golden, or crying in her arms feeling sad
dare you imagine a life without her, soldiering on as a distraught singleton
Is it those moments during daydreams when you forget her face, her smile
Or the times you cannot sleep, because you haven't shared a laugh today
I have felt hunger from the bottom of my stomach that eats from inside
Her voice sounds like a ballad of hope, her touch shudders your soul
Concentration long since departed, left you to lingering thoughts
Only her image her aura, being have found a place in your mind
Your beating heart races wildly when she calls your name,
world around slows down when she kisses your lips
nothing in life matters, she says she loves you
you wonder, could she really be the one
is this what love is, could be
desire, hope, belief
I should know
It found me
In you
And
Us

**********

Now the compacted version

What is love (senryu)

A moment arrived
reflecting on emptiness
love found me in you

***********
good luck everyone.

Darren, your shape poem is exquisite!
The resulting senryu is excellent
Post them

Hi Larry, thanks

the shape poem in it's correct form is already up from a while ago.
here
http://www.poems-and-quotes.com/poems/1235144

I will post the senryu.

Joseph

Silvery tangles frame
a face spun with spider threads
from the weary loom
of a long life.

Gnarled hands, twisted as
the roots of an ancient oak,
back... stooped by the wind
that paid visit and
forgot to leave

and yet...

His eyes are still as clear
as a summer morn,
his laughter, musical as
the first spring shower.

His smile? Ah his smile...
can still melt a winter frost,
and, once again it melts
the verglas of my heart.

He does not speak my language
and still I know
he's afraid of uniforms...

--------------------------------------

Starzec of the earth
gnarled limbs stretch out in greeting,
no words are spoken.

*Starzec - Polish for old man

This is great Hellon

The object was to try and say as much in a Senryu as you do in a longer poem.
Because a haiku and senryu are so small it’s important that every word matters.
You have done this and That last line has a great impact.

Thanks Darren...great challenge BTW.

The Fade Out - Sonnet to a Secret (part one)
by Larry Chamberlin Feb 18, 2018

For 15 years each time they made love
she’d take hot water and a washcloth
wipe him front and back from above
head to foot as he lay like a sloth
basking in their shared afterglow
although he loved her ministration
every bit he had of her would flow
down the sad drain by her lavation.
Afterward she would go back home
covering clues, such a clever sleuth,
leaving him in his apartment alone
fading from her reality, his truth:
a life he never anticipated
but somehow accepted as fated.

***********************************

her ministration
all their love down the sad drain
covers clues - faded

Nice new challenge:

each
gulp
flows
into the
next one,

emptying now,

like my chances;

every opportunity

to reinvent myself,

pissed away, down

the drain of dreams.
.....................................................................................................
.....................................................................................................

with each swallow his
regret diluted until
he couldn't care less

This is excellent Larry. Both work well.

This is great Mr D love the senryu.