Continuation....

Darn it!!! I believe that our favorite virgin eared elfen friend deleted the post in which JPM and I were debating my dating preference (and that's something that definately deserves a thread of its own ;) ), so it's a good thing I saved what I typed because it was freaking long and I would be a very sad girl if I had to retype it (as JPM was going to get back to me and I'm curious about his psycho analyzation skills).

Bad elf, bad.

I feel the same way as you, that there are a few people like your and myself, and certainly we are all out there looking for each other. Matt really is smart as fuck and if he could offer me the other things that older men could offer me, I'd be all over him, but I figure I'll let him grow up a little bit first ;).

Now, obviously my ego as well soars as high (if not higher) as NASA could arrange to reach, as (not to sound egotistic) I am much more intellectually inclined than 99% of adults I encounter and I have been told and shown that all of my life. It's been this way since I was very small, and yes, I still have a lot to learn, I don’t know everything, but I'll be the first to admit that I know a shit load about A LOT of things.

As previously mentioned, I have one friend my age who I consider to be remotely on my level, and I have Matt (whom I don’t know hyper personally but I consider him to be on my remote level). Those are the only two people I know under the age of 25 that I find to be stimulating in any way.

The only thing that a young man could not offer me that an older one can is an amount of life experience, while the boys my age only have a modicum to offer me. Often times life experience offers temperance, patience, and wisdom, which are three of the things that I find extraordinarily sexy in a man and are definitely among the other top qualities on my "ideal man" list. They also can offer more security and stability than younger men in general, because their lives normally already have a dictated path and they aren’t floundering.

My ego though does not keep me from considering my peers, I consider absolutely everyone until they prove that they either are on my level, near my level, or a complete and total dipshit. TONS of adults are not remotely near the level that "we" operate on daily, if you don’t mind me grouping us together in this case as anomalies.

I actually have had the most luck finding men between about 25-30 that are up to my standard, alas, most of them are unavailable, but divorce is oh so common these days. That's not to say that most men in my target age demographic aren’t total retarded losers, because 90% of them are and 1% of them are up to my standard.

In short, I am drawn to what older men can offer, as they have had more life experience and they are stable, but I don’t automatically omit the ones whom are my age or even a bit younger for the sake of it.

A man being older is only preferable, if a boy can prove to be everything that I want, need, and can offer to them myself, then I'm all over it.

Anyway, I'm not lazy about it. I just haven’t stumbled across any as of yet.

What's important to consider is WHY I am a virgin when 90% of 16 year olds aren’t and when I ultimately have drive and knowledge in the area, am pretty good looking, and am not short on people who would be up for the challenge. The reason is because I'm not out to land anyone in jail nor break any laws, so while I have been interested and carried on relations with older men I have not chosen to go into that territory, so one thing that you don’t need to worry about is that aspect (which I know you have intense feelings about, having a daughter and finding it generally McNasty).

So, casting the logical reasoning aside, I am still attracted to older men because as a total package they CAN have everything I'm looking for (and a few of them HAVE had everything I was looking for, minus the baggage of a wife or girlfriend). A younger man cannot offer me a few simple things. Plus, I want the man I am with to get other girls out of his system, fuck around, and get ready to settle down with me, because I'm not interested in fucking around. So while I cant exactly prove you "wrong" per ce, I'm still attracted to whom I'm attracted to.

And although it may seem like I have "daddies girl" syndrome (and if I found another girl working my department on the forums like I do, I would think so too), quite on the contrary I was shown TOO MUCH attention and affection from the men in my life, and not by the females, so instead of seeking attention from men because I lacked it, I suppose I am seeking attention from men because I'm used to it.

The BIGGEST thing that older men can offer that younger men would struggle with is sexual gratification, ultimately, and I know that’s important to me.

It’s also important to take into account whom I flirt with on the boards (the majority of the time, as I like to spread the “endearment”): You, Bret, Bob, Matt, Lipton, and Kevin (when he’s around), as well as other grown men. All of those guys have some of the aforementioned traits, whilst none of the teenage guys (minus Matt and Lipton) DO. Here are the figures- Matt:13, Lipton:17, You:25, Kevin:25, Bret:28, and Bob:4?. (I’m omitting Bob from the next statistic because it’s McNasty and Lipton because he’s ultimately far too religious ;) ): That’s 3 in my target age demographic out of 4, and also take into consideration that there are far more teenagers on the boards than anything else and not that many men in their 20’s. Most of the guys in their 20’s are intellectually inclined (and have accents), which obviously makes them more attractive.

If this in any way mirrors real life then my attractions are clearly laid ;) out, not that it does, but it proves my point on a P&Q world level.

Now also take into account that only 1 out of the 4 I mentioned is single, and he is 13.

And now if this mirrors real life I’m screwed.

Like my logic? ;)

It is "definitely" and "per se".

Sorry, didn't spell check :)

Ismail: To answer your question, if I was 40 and there was a "hot" 18 or 19 year old flirting with me what would I do? I would probably sleep with him, in all honesty, but I couldnt imagine myself having a relationship with a man that much younger, men tend to not be as mature as women and I think older men are sexy for their temperment, life experience, and wisdom, like I've said, so being with an 18 or 19 year old THEN when I even prefer to not be with them NOW would be oxymoronic.

My last boyfriend, whom I was with 8 months and was truly my first love, was a lot older than myself, and the relationship worked out beautifully. We just broke up about a week ago, but I dont regret any of it and the situation really made me realize what a grown man can offer that a boy simply cannot (or would have a difficult time offering, therefore just being harder to find).

I actually think that women would benefit from having relationships with older men when they are mature enough to handle it, it's a totally different experience than being with someone younger or your own age.

But it all comes down to what you're looking for and what your preference is, ultimately what is individually correct for one may not be correct for another, so who's to judge?

The other thing I dont understand is why at 18 suddenly everything is so different than the day before when you were 17. Physical age is no more indicative of maturity level or the ability to make healthy choices than the length of my hair is indicative of my favorite food, and while some people disagree with me on that, what I do know is that whether you are 16, 23, or 40, you are going to make the choices that you NEED to make to either find happiness or learn something, and until you are set free enough to follow your heart you wont do either.

Sorry it took me a while to get back to you.

Anyway, the answer is known, I dont quite know what you're trying to prove by me saying no, I absolutely would not date an 8 year old.

Firstly, I prefer older men (although we both agree that there ARE people my age or even younger that could suffice). Secondly, NO 8 year old is developmentally ready for a mental, emotional, and physical relationship of intimate and romantic standing.

It would obviously be up to the older man I was with to determine if I was up to THEIR standard (age being one of them) and there are obvious legalities involved, which would have to be sorted out in one way or another.

Well when you figure out what's wrong with me, please let me know and save me the time of figuring it out myself ;).

There is no contradition because the questions are not relevent. I wouldnt date an 8 year old because

"NO 8 year old is developmentally ready for a mental, emotional, and physical relationship of intimate and romantic standing."

The way in which the two questions could correlate would be to ask me if I was 28 would I date a 20 year old (because 20 year olds can be developmentally ready for a relationship of romantic and intimate standing). The answer is yes. I would date someone 8 years younger than myself in the future if they matched my standards.

I also dont assume anything about the two age groups, but there are a few things that do seperate them. One being that 16 year olds still live with their parents and are still largely supported by them. It's not that my target age demographic is totally stable, but they are far more likely to be independently stable than someone my age.

And it's not that I dont look for people my age, it's that I havent found many that I would be interested in pursuing romantic relations with, and I do know plenty. I just have a much different life style than most kids my age (for instance I dont go to school, have a full time job, and am working on other things besides what normally concern 16 year olds).

There is nothing wrong with my prefering older men to ones my age. They simply are more likely to have the traits of which I am attracted to.

There are kids my age whom are like myself, but they are few and far between (as are the men in my target age demographic, but there are more of them). So because I dont discriminate based upon age, only have preferences because of it, my window actually gets larger, which is a good thing because few people could offer me what I want.

Nothing is wrong with me, it's just common sense and high standards. I am around more adults than children, and prefer it that way. Anyway, I'm open to dating people my own age as long as they can offer me what I want.

lmao.

Well, they do say that girls marry their fathers. I wouldnt mind marrying a man like my father, but I wont take abuse like my mother did and he cant be a workaholic- so I suppose that I wouldnt like to marry someone with too many traits that my father has (well, had).

I guess therein lies the clue. From my experience, when men grow up, they lose their bad traits and are left with temperment, patience, and wisdom. Now, in their 20's many men still have a far way to come, so the window of oppurtunity is still pretty slim.

The reason I am more comftorable with older men is because I have spent a lot of time around them and prefer their company- that simple. I admire the traits that some of them have and there's nothing wrong with that. It's just a question of if I can handle it, and I can and do.

I dont disagree with any of that, however I dont think that "normal" is a really high standard to reach for either, eh?

I dont think that the things that "normal" 16 year olds do is stupid or immature, I just dont feel the need to do it myself. If I wanted to, I would. I'm not trying to be mature here. I have my "immature" moments just like anyone else. I'm just being me.

However, the interesting thing is that MOST of my 16 year old "friends" (I hesitate to call them that, because I dont like them much in all honesty) are WITH older guys, ranging from 18 to 25. That is not something that's unheard of, and it's relatively common.

Anyway, lots of 24 year old men DO date 16 year olds, I dont think that it's the age difference that's the bad thing. I think normally it's the stage of development that the two people are in that's the problem.

And anyway, you and I have had different experiences that have led us to do different things. For instance I will probably NEVER get into partying of any kind because of what my brother and sister and family went through, nor do I really have a yearning to do those things, and I sure as hell wont do them for the sake of being "normal." If I WANT to later on in life, sure I will.

What concerns you so much about my dating preferences anyway? Not being a smart ass or anything. Just out of curiosity.

You guys are both absolutely correct, I dont support any of my "friends" dating older men and I wouldnt support my child doing the same thing. However, I have always been the dominant person who has guided every relationship I have ever had (even if it's just subconsciously), no matter how old the adult. That's not what I want in a romantic and intimate relationship with someone. I want my lover to be able to "handle" me as well as I handle him, and thus far that has not been the case in any relationship I have ever had. Logically, the more experience someone has (in physical years) the more they should be able to do this. I have been the initiator in every breakup I've had, and the person I have been with has always been more emotionally infatuated with me than the other way around, thus I always had the upper hand, and I dont necessarily want that.

Again, this isnt about the men being OLDER, this is just about what I'm looking for. Logically, what I'm looking for will be far more likely to be found in a person with more life experience, however, because I, myself, am a walking anomaly, I understand that there are other "kids" such as myself out there who have the qualities I'm looking for. I just havent found one as of yet.

I'm in no way afraid of change, it's my standards that wont change though. I wont settle for less than I am capable of giving in a relationship.

Earlier, JPM, you were saying "You're the kind of person..."

I "am the kind of person" that is used to getting what I want, above all, that is the type of person I am. Ultimately, every person I have ever decided would be "mine" at some point in time has been, the age spanning from my own to being too old to admit to on these forums, because you guys would kill me, but I dont "blame" these men for wanting to be with me really, because I can offer them much more than the average 16 year old, or even just the average woman for that matter, and that's the key to being able to have such high standards. I will continue to seek out and conquer the best men I can until I settle with one who is mutually satisfied, and whilst the typical 16 year old or the typical woman isnt capable of this, it's entertaining for me and ultimately will lead to happiness for lucky me and the lucky man that I choose to be with, no matter what the age.

But the reasoning for my behavior obviously pertains to self validation, for the last few years I have been at an age where I am growing into my individuality and my mind, my body, my spirituality, my whatever, I'm discovering and growing into myself. Going after the "best" men of any age and proving myself (because they want me for whatever reason) is obviously ego boosting, and a normal stage of development. These men are confirming my intellect, my maturity, my sexuality, my everything, and it's been (and will continue to be) a very good learning experience in handling people.

Everyone wants something, and balancing other peoples desires to gain control of a relationship or person is a fascinating aspect of human psychology that I am coming to learn first hand. Ultimately, it's about that, because I have not yet found ANYONE that I would want as my future husband, and I wont until I someday lose the upper hand.

But you're right, I wont settle, and above all, I wont get myself into trouble.

There are obviously two sides to every coin, and I plan on getting hurt by self induced action at some point in my life, but hey, everyone needs to make a few mistakes of their own.

Every girl has to come to terms with their relationship to men, and Matt, your daughter will have to also. I am sure you'll guide her well though.

Plus, I really do appreciate your guys' protective efforts.

ScaredoftheDark: Good you relented before I got to you. Seriously, you're 20 years old, which is 4 years older than me, why should anyone listen to you or waste their time talking to you? At what age is it all right to have an opinion, a preference, and express it, while being listened to? And you think JPM is too good to talk to me, yet you write poems about him and how he's an idiot?

"You think you're so ingenious
you think everyone else is thick
I have to tell you JustPlainMe
you make 99% of us sick

Your stupid,idiotic poems just make my head get numb
true some people think they're sweet,but mind, that's only some

We all detest your comments
GOD you're even bad at that
And as for your stupid picture
well all I can see is fat.

You are a pain in my side
you are a splinter in my thumb
you think you're great JustPlainMe
when you're really JustPlainDumb!"

And here's another one:

"What would I do without you?
I cried today, but it doesn't matter because you love me, I hope you always will!

I cried today and wiped away my tears!!!"

How original. I believe this would be refered to as what JPM calls "pimple poetry."

And you having sex makes you more worthy of having opinion? Please. You know nothing about me, plus you're not worth my time to talk to. Go back to school, learn to put commas in the right place and how to write decent poetry, then come back and talk to me.

Mike: You're absolutely right, and thank you.

JPM: It's ok that you don’t know what I mean, because I know exactly what I mean and I know what I'm looking for. My dating preference should be of no concern to you- I seriously don’t know why you even wanted to know- but you asked, so I shared.

I'll also fully admit to being a bitch, but a money hungry bitch I'm really not. I don’t care if my husband is wealthy or not, as long as he has what I'm looking for and if he finds in me what he's looking for. And which one of us is more egotistic? I think it's pretty rich of you to talk about it like it's a BAD thing. You know what you're capable of, and so do I, and whilst it may make people uncomfortable to be secure, there's really no reason to be.

I think that you reverted to insult because there's nothing else to say on the topic, you can't really DEBATE my PREFERENCE, because it still stands, and there's no reason why it shouldn’t. It's a personal choice, so whether I am "full of myself" or not is really irrelevant and off topic. I would let you know you're an arrogant asshole, but 1. You've been told that umpteen times already, and 2. You know it and fully admit to it, so I'll follow in your glorious example and admit to my slight over confidence and to the bitchyness, but we're both the way we are for a reason.

FOR ME: It's about intellect, life experience, and temperance (which is still hard to find in my target age range).

FOR MOST GIRLS: It's because it's cool, it's because the guys show interest, and it's because it makes them feel grown up.

I have told you many concrete reasons why girls do this, the biggest one being VALIDATION. Older men validate their sexualities, their maturities, their physicality, their mental aptitude, etc.

At this age, girls are discovering themselves and the effect that they have on men, key word: MEN. Not boys. Men present a whole nother challenge that is very appealing to them.

Of course security is involved, including monetary security, but all of it takes a back seat to the aforementioned reasons.

I said this like 3 posts ago:

“But the reasoning for my behavior obviously pertains to self validation, for the last few years I have been at an age where I am growing into my individuality and my mind, my body, my spirituality, my whatever, I'm discovering and growing into myself. Going after the "best" men of any age and proving myself (because they want me for whatever reason) is obviously ego boosting, and a normal stage of development. These men are confirming my intellect, my maturity, my sexuality, my everything, and it's been (and will continue to be) a very good learning experience in handling people.”

I never said the girls that did that were “weak.” It doesn’t make them weak, it’s just a process that EVERYONE (but especially girls) go through, and you’re correct, the older and more experienced the man, the more of a challenge, but I am after a different type of challenge than the average. It’s all for the same reason however, and you have your answer: validation.

I'm not saying that I can't grow without an older man, I'm saying that the validation is nice for any girl (I guess not if it's negative, but for me anyway it's positive), and the validation doesnt come from JUST older men, it comes from any man, yet older men offer more of a challenge, as we've established.

For me, the only "daddy" issue that is involved is perhaps that I have too much of my dad in me. Bob hit the nail on the head by saying I conduct relationships like my father, in control and emotionally detached, but this isnt about emotions. This is about human psychology and validation. I LEARN a lot more by dealing with more experienced men than by dealing with boys, but that's a personal thing, not a general thing. Right now, I'm not looking for love, when I find love I suppose I'll know, right now I'm just out to learn about men and about psychology and to understand how to maneuver it.

I suppose that it depends on what kind of growth, by the way.

(you're, not your)

I suppose you need to clarify your question.

You dont need validation to grow, but I would say it helps in most cases, because it helps you get comftorable with whatever you're doing and learn to adjust.

What type of growth are you talking about?

It's not a necessity, but it helps.

I hesitate to use this retarded example, but I'll use it. When a baby plant begins to grow you can stake it to help it grow the way you want it, faster and stronger. If you DONT stake the plant, it will still grow, but if you stake it you get a more predictable result.

Any type of growth can happen with or without validation, but validation and intention make for the stake.

For instance, a beautiful girl grows up introverted and is made fun of because she has good grades. She comes to be 19 years old and has never gotten much attention from boys, because ever since she was young she was conditioned to not be social and to resent her intellect, no one validated her on either front.

A cute girl (just prettier than average) grows up in a warm community where she is encouraged to be herself and she blossoms socially, people have given her validation ever since she was young and so she blossomed, because it felt good to be validated and it encouraged her to grow.

Both these girls have naturally good personalities, but the first girl is uncomftorable in her own skin, regardless of her beauty, and it hinders her all her life, while the second girl is confident and gets lots of guys strictly because she recieved validation for her personality, her looks, and everything else.

So while it's not a NECESSITY, validation FEELS good to everyone, and when you are a child developing psychologically it is an important thing to have. I am sure you will validate your daughter as she grows up, making her feel good about herself and letting her know her self worth. That's what validation does for people, and she'll grow because of it, because people WANT to feel good about themselves.

That's why nerds who never got validated go and turn into introverted weirdos who build bombs in their basement and blow up their peers.

EVERYONE needs validation at some point about something, otherwise you grow funny and mal adjusted (like the plant without the stake).

Although growing for yourself is a great thing, everyone would be fine and dandy with themselves if OTHER people were fine with them. MOST people change for other people, do things for the validation of others. They have insecurities based upon what other people think of them. If we all lived alone and never saw another person in our lives validation would be unnecessary, but to operate socially you have to feel like other people support you, especially growing up.

Validation can cause kids (or just people) to grow negatively as well, it is a valuable psychological tool because EVERYONE seeks it on some level.

Hey, this is great reading folks!

KK.

You said 'when men grow up they lose their bad habits [...] and are left with patience and wisdom'.

Let me give it to you staright. When men 'grow up', they solidify every bad habit they've ever acquried. Their patience comes from a trade-off of things that were once regarded as important to them in exchange for things they have selected to focus on. The 'patience' is not spread across the board. As for wisdom, it often arrives through harsh lessons, introspection, drugs, broken relationships - and sometimes books, even!

However, I'm sure a strong persona and a few clever lies would make someone vulnerable think otherwise. In all, the attributes that you're projecting onto the older guy/s are a little sugar coated.

'Smell the flowers while you can' as the saying goes, because nothing smells worse than a wilting rose.

Scaredofthedark: In actuality, only idiots need fear JPM. His nice side is reached through intelligence.

Mel: If you actually read this entire thread, you need more to do in your life ;). Seriously though, this has really been made into something about "older men" when for me it's not about that, I've clearly stated that many times. There are things that I am looking for in a guy that is more likely to be found in someone older.

Yeah, this thread is my therapy session. Back the fuck out Ismail before they put me in that padded room again ;)

Thanks for the support though.

Oh, and I cant post the 69th post without mentioning it, because that's my number. Gold star for me.

Psycho analyze this please:

http://www.best-love-poems.com/poems.php?id=352125

Lets dissect this from my point of view, the author:

"Self Inflicted"

The sculpture I face.
(Something is in front of me, and I'm looking at it)

Alas, it’s perfect.
(There's nothing wrong with it, "alas" as a prerequisite implies that there is sorrow or disappointment involved)

Its lines are chiseled of my dreams,
("Lines" can be the physique of the statue, or it could just be generally all encompassing, because the lines of a statue are all you see... the outside. There is nothing INSIDE going on in a statue, everything is on the outside.)

Its lips are cast of the sweetest words,
(This is where I start hinting that it's more than a simple statue. Statues cannot talk. The statue is a man; later on it is revealed that it's the one I love.)

And its eyes are the ones that watch me over.
(I keep referring to the stone as an "it" and not a "he." This is because I am analyzing the "statue" as an object. Statues, as previously established, have nothing going on on the inside. Only the outside, so everything about "him" I am dissecting by only what's on the outer layers. By saying that "its" eyes are the ones that watch me over, "he" obviously cares about me and watches out for me and my best interests, taking care of me.)

Alas, it’s perfect. Yet I walk away.
("Alas" again, which is odd. You shouldn’t be sad about something being perfect, yet I am, and I walk away. This part is a little sketchy, because I am still in front of the statue and pondering it, but I move on from analyzing the outer aspects and commenting on them, but I am expressing that emotionally and on differing levels I am already gone.)

I know no better; yet you gave me the World.
("I know no better" means that I am obviously ignorant of something, and that if I KNEW better I wouldn’t be walking away. I move on to say "yet you gave me the world," which is to say that there was nothing YOU [as the statue, so I'm talking to "it" now] didn’t offer me, you're perfect, remember?)

Your hands, which once rimmed my curves-
(Obviously, the statue is now being introduced as my lover, being intimate.)

Now cold, personified in stone.
(I am moving on from an intimate situation [which is associated with heat] to a situation that is detached and cold. Removing myself from what once was and moving on to what is now.)

This picturesque
Lonely statue.
(Picturesque, beautiful and perfect. "Lonely statue" implying that it yearns for my company, yet statues are objects, not people, they can’t be lonely. I am removing myself from "him" being a person and looking at him as an object that is untouchable, especially on an emotional level.)

Alas, stands in front of me. In agonizing perfection.
("Alas," again. In this line the use of the word "agonizing" shows how it is difficult for the "statue" to be in front of me as I dissect it, scouring it for loose ends, yet still find it to be perfect, which is hard for me.)

I skim along each line and carved bend, looking for
(I begin to scan the statue again [I went from a physical analysis in the beginning, to a mental analysis and reflection, and now back to the physical], methodically, and I am looking for.... and then the next line puts emphasis on "imperfections.")

Imperfections. Yet there are none.
(This is the first part in the poem that I use the word "imperfection," which is important because that's what I'm seeking. I discover there are none.)

You stand, drawing me nearer.
(The statue is in front of me, yet I am being drawn to it. It has a magnetism, something I want.)

You would hold me if I asked.
(It is ME who is holding ME back. I am keeping "you" cold, keeping "you" solid, yet if I made my wants clear, "you" would do as I wished.)

Stone, glossed to a reflective state. I see my face cast against it.
(Again, I am putting you into the state of "stone," and I say it is reflective, meaning that I can look into myself. I have never mentioned that the statue reflects anything up to this point. I come to discover my face cast against it, pressed against it.)

I gaze, lost in my own blue eyes, caught in the maze
(This is the only part of the poem that rhymes at all. I look into my own eyes [the window to the soul] and I get "caught" in the maze of my own intricacies.)

Of their own dark shadows.
(I am looking into my own defects, getting lost and stuck in the ruts of my own character, discovering I am the one who holds me back)

I see the imperfection.
(I discover the imperfection I am looking for, and it is myself, although I am seeking to project it onto "you.")

Reflected on you, my love, and I walk away.
("Reflected on you" shows that I am "YOUR" imperfection, and without me, you would still be perfect, and therefore better off, despite "your" desire to take care of me and comfort me. This is the first time in the poem that I say anything about "you" being a lover [directly, even though I implied it before], and then I physically walk away. I turn away, disappointed, and finding in myself what's wrong.)

I know no better.
(At this point, I do know better. I have discovered that I am what held me back, yet I still claim to know no better because of still being in denial. I wont let myself turn "you" into being a man, I keep "you" as stone, and I leave "you" standing there, while I deny myself "you.")

Throughout the course of the poem I am standing in front of my "standards" my "ideals," yet I deny myself the satisfaction of being emotionally fulfilled from them. I remain in a state of emotional detachment. I address everything else, physical, mental, and spiritual, but never emotional. The voice in the poem is stoic and in control, analyzing as if dissecting "love" in a lab, and I come to discover that the "you" who I am addressing in the poem would be better off without me, even though "you" are fully giving of yourself and open to me. I am the one who locks "you" in stone and refuses to look beneath the surface. Also, the poem is entitled "Self Inflicted," which is ultimately meaning the state of everything that exists within it is of my own making and doing. It is an introspective poem, realizing that it matters not "who" the statue is, at the end of the day, my face will be the one cast upon whatever is in front of me, and I cant walk away from myself.

Anyway, I haven’t shared this poem with either of my parents, nor will I. This poem is indicative of my emotional detachment and view of love, that even when my "standards" are met, in the end, it has nothing to do with emotions, because I wont let it.

Are you sure?

Damn. I thought I won the Ice Princess award ;)

Absolutely.

Anyway, the poem wasnt devoid of emotion, nor am I, and it is truly what I seek, but there is still a clinical detachment that's pretty icy. Brrrrr (shiver).

knowing you, you're probably practicing with an ice cube....lmao

lmao, Bob, you know me well.

You're truly fantastic at reading people. I remember the first e-mail you sent me, dissecting every aspect of my life by only a few poems. Creepy, how people can be so perceptive, but that's your talent.

There is a natural state between "agony" and "perfection" and I dont aim for that limbo, but I seem to linger between the two. How's that food for thought?

Ah, that's sweet.

And you and I both know that I'm only a cold bitch on the surface, but it's from all the ice ;)

lol, Mike, toooo funny. So I ask myself this: What am I preserving and what am I trying to keep inside? Hmmmm.

Bob: Are you trying to repair the daddy damage I have ;) haha.

Who needs therapy when there's P&Q, seriously, Bob and JPM should psycho analyze anyone who asks- you guys could even charge for this kinda stuff ;)

You only called me a retard once and a bitch once, and you relented both times. I'd say that's like a record for you.