Marriage-I.C I suppose

"No women needs a man to make her whole"

Very true. Though yet another reason why people get married is because they feel incomplete without a spouse. All too many women (and I suppose some men, but I doubt in the same numbers) feel as if they must have a man to control or work the household (or again just the fact of being alone). you always watch the movies about how the old bachelorette (sp) is desperately searching for a husband because she's over 25 and time to marry is running out...my point-that the happy ending must result in a marriage.
though some women have made arguments that they feel they 'need' a man in order to have a father figure for their children. I'm not quite sure what to make of this. I do think that the father figure is important in a child's life, but many single mothers have raised their kids without one and they function well, so I'm not quite sure what to make of that.
anyway, bottom line I think people (men and women) should learn to function themselves without need of a spouse.

No Bob, that is not why I got married. Bu to be honest when we divorced I was struggling to make it day by day instead oe week by week lol.

My ex used to always tell me that I would not be able to make it on my own and that there was no way I could support my children and me once I left him.

For some time he had me believing this I know now that it was just another control tactic though. I often wonder if I had lived on my own before getting married to him if I would have left sooner or had more confidence in my abilities. I think maybe if I would have proven my independance to myself while I was 18 or 19 then I would not have chosen to stay with him for so long suffering at the violence of his hands.

Since I left him and have proven to me that I can make it in this world with the children I know that there is no way I will ever allow myself to feel "trapped" in an abusive or any relationship for that matter again.

Anyways, lol a little off topic I know. Sorry

--Sher

LOL JPM I love that it is soooo true

LOL

JPM:

You can take a flight. Me and a friend fly out of Oklahoma once a month to Cali and it only takes a couple hrs.
I just hate returning home from Cali. LOL

----Sher

LOL O now Bob, I am and always yours

--Sher

I plan on gettting married young....probably in 3-5 years. I like how my parents had kids like 1 1/2 years after they are married, and that's kinda what I plan on doing. I am 15 and my mom got married to my dad at 19. My dad was 21. I don't know about 19....though. I would like to at least start and/or finish college. It's not to far from my future though.

MMMM... personal forum I can see the topic of the thread now:

Let's get NAUGHTY

LMMFAO!

Bob & JPM: Just don't mention marriage and I will try not to run away faster than a jet can fly LOL!

I feel as if the 16 year old needs to step in and say, "now, now, it's times like these cyber chats are involved..."

waterwhatever: you're an idiot. wanting to get married at 18 (wtf) or 20 just because your parents might have had a good marriage is a just plain stupid thing to do.

LMAO! MMM... I didn't even gett that when I did get married.... should have been a strong clue huh?

Listen Pink, this a my personal opinion, and i think it will work. Yes it's young, but at least I am not marrying cause I am having a kid. I think I have somewhat of a brain to make the right choice. So if marriage isn't for you then fine. But I want to get married young. I am not going to wait until i am 30 to get married. I want to get married by the latest 22 and have kids young. Like my mom. I admire my parents and their marriage. So like I said my personal preference. It's not stupidity like you think it is. Keep your dumb comments to yourself.

Fair enough waterlover, but would you mind explaining why you would possibly think marrying younger will result in a happier marriage?

I never said it would a result in a happier marriage it's finding the right person to spend the rest of your life with that makes a happier marriage. And, well it's a little early but i think i found the guy i wanna grow old with and he wants the same thing. So...it's all about finding the right person. Not the age. I just like how my parents got married younger that's all.

"everyone changes over time"

especially at that young of an age. I don't believe you can make a smart decision that young, let alone marry someone at that age who has hardly matured to their adult self. You could be marrying one person, but in a couple years find yourself wed to someone completly different from the person you married.

Correct, but it is a matter of being smart enough to choose the right one to live the rest of your life. I mean yes I am very young to decide who i want to marry, but I think I have found the one that I am going to get married to.

See the thing is you must know what you look for in a spouse, which I do know what i want. BUT doesn't mean you go and create the "perfect" man. You have to be realistic in what you are looking for.

And so far, the guy am dating has met all these qualities, and above all we care about each other in a different way then our friends that are dating care about each other. It's something special and unique. Yes I know "It just might be puppy love" or "You are too young to know what love is" that's not true. I am young in age but other than that I knwo what my feelings are and they are very true for this special guy in my life. But anyways, Pink you have brought up good points and you too JPM but it's something everyone must decide for themselves.