if you believe in God...i need advice

hey thanks in advance for anyone who's taking the time to check this out...i'm kinda in a dilemma here and i need some suggestions.

ok so one of my best friends lost a best friend/ex boyfriend in a car crash yesterday morning (i'd only met him once, he moved shortly after i met her) and she's devastated. she's been crying for 2 days straight and is mad at the world. the thing is...before all this happened, she was a devoted christian and she believed that god's way was the best for us all but now she's mad at god and saying his plan for us all is wrong and that she doesnt want to believe in something that would make her so miserable. i've tried telling her to think about the good memories with brett (the guy who died) and to know that he's in a better place and that things happen for a reason and that things will get better. she thinks god is against her and i'm really afraid she's going to lose her faith. how do i help her through this and reassure her about god without her getting angry with me for not agreeing with her??? i know things may calm down over time and she'll come back to her old way of thinking but i'm just really worried. if you have any suggestions or advice please post or pm me, that would be great. thanks everybody take care...

Sara

Many people who are confronted with a deep personal loss go through a period where their thinking becomes clouded and changed. I have also been through the torment caused by the sudden death of a loved one. When I was really down, I found two authors whose writing brought immense consolation, inspiration and help on the road toward healing.

One was Harold Kushner who wrote “When Bad Things Happen to Good People.” The author is a Jewish rabbi but the message in his book reaches across to people of all faiths, especially those who blame or question God after suffering a personal tragedy, such as your friend. It was written when the author was facing the loss of his own son to a fatal disease. You can find this book on amazon.com or in bookstores.

The other author was Peter McWilliams, who wrote several very helpful books, particularly one called “How to Survive the Loss of a Love.” This is a book that deals with understanding how our human nature reacts to and recovers from a loss. In summary:

* Recovering from a loss takes place in three distinct--yet overlapping--stages.
* They are
> shock/denial/numbness
> fear/anger/depression
> understanding/acceptance/moving on
* Each stage of recovery is
> necessary
> natural
> a part of the healing process

This book is now available for free because it has been published on the internet at:

http://www.mcwilliams.com/books/books/sur/srtoc.htm

Best wishes ---Lydia O

thanks for the advice it really helped and lydia thanks for the link to that book, i'll be using it.

take care
Sara

Ok well i am Christian and well we all go through hard times, and loss but you have tyo realize that God would not want to hurt you, since she is/was a devoted Christian then she knows our father sent Jesus to the cross to save us, so he WOULDNT hurt us, if he would give up his only son for us why would he take something away. God dosent wantto hurt us, and he NEVER takes away, he only gives. Pain comes and hard times hurt, my brther is heavily into drugs, and i've lostpeople but i can't blame Him because its not his fault, she just needs top realize that he didnt do this, and he still loves he unconditionally. I can try to find some verses to help her.
Love ya so much
Jelly BN

vagabon, the top states "if you believe in god" and the point of this post was to help her through it WITHOUT her losing her faith...

Vagabon, you're not in a very good position to be giving out spiritual advice in view of your recent posts which included, after assuming a false identity, your telling everyone here to burn in hell. That was of course before your posts were all deleted for good reason by the moderators here.

And now you are trying to harrass a person who is just trying to comfort and find solace for a friend who has lost a loved one!!! You are really a piece of work.