What Do You Think Of This?

This is a true story, written for my Composition class. What do you think 1) about what happened and 2) about my essay in general?

One of the things they teach you in school is to be an individual. But what happens when the school goes against you for that reason alone? My name is Rin and this is my story.

I was the type of girl who sat in the back of the class room, reading or writing poetry. I didn’t have many friends, but the one I did have were like family to me. The preppy girls hated me because I was friends with all the guys and my less-than-“normal” Gothic style (at my school, if you weren’t preppy, you were a weirdo). I always took them for idiots for dressing like Abercrombie models. But I never really cared, because image is relative to me. I dress how I feel – not how a fashion magazine tells me to. My defiance made them hate me more – I just laughed right back at them.

It was the second semester of my senior year in high school. Like everyone else, I was nervous about SATs and the standardized tests coming up in the next month. The only ray of sunshine in my class schedule was my public speaking class. A place where I could speak my mind and not be heckled for being “weird”. I loved that class and it was one of maybe two I had an “A” in. This was a class where I could truly be myself and not care.

After we finished the video reports, Mr. P assigned informative speeches, where we had to pick a topic and, as the name says, inform the class on it. I agonized over what I would do until I was sitting in my English class watching “The Crucible”. I decided to do my informative speech on my favorite author, Amelia Attwater-Rhodes and go into the myths and facts of vampires. I saw this as a great opportunity, because I have always been into vampires. I couldn’t wait to start typing!

The morning I was scheduled to give my speech, I came in a little late, carrying poster boards and my note cards, dragging my black messenger bag along with me. I put my stuff by the whiteboard in the front of the classroom so I wouldn’t have to drag it around the room. One speech after another – one about snowboarding, another about the benefits of smoking marijuana, and an interesting speech about beavers… Then, it was my turn.

I rose from my seat, straightening my long black skirt and adjusting my black and red corset. I quickly set up my posters on the whiteboard with that sticky putty stuff, stepped up to the lectern and waited until Mr. P was ready to start. I went through my speech fluid as water. Five minutes later, I concluded. The room was silent except for the sound of my own heartbeat, which I think stopped when I saw the looks some people were giving me. But the nasty looks were the least of my trouble.

The next morning, I was sitting in my chemistry class taking notes on stoichiometry when I was called to the Guidance office. At the time it hadn’t occurred to me why I was being summoned, but it hit me like a sack of bricks when I saw three girls from my class outside my counselor’s office and my report on his desk.

I sat down and the first thing he asks me is: “You know why you’re here, don’t you?” Really I didn’t, but I knew it had something to do with my report. A half hour of discussion – mainly me being lectured – was because these three girls were offended by my speech about Attwater-Rhodes’ fictional books and vampires. One girl had written in her report that my speech disgusted her because “…those books are Satanic and go against my religion…” Another girl said that the images of Dracula and the book covers on my poster were too dark and disturbing for her and she didn’t think I should have been allowed to show them.

He dismissed the other girls and held me back to talk to me further, saying I can’t do anymore reports on vampires or any other subjects related to it and I had to “tone down” the way I dressed and I couldn’t wear my ankh necklace or a lot of the Gothic/Pagan clothes I wore (basically limiting me to jeans and a t-shirt). I was pretty angry with the way I was treated, but I had to go to class. I refused to speak the rest of the day, because oh dear – I may offend someone.

How could they tell me I couldn’t dress that way when they allow girls to go around with their butts hanging out of their shorts or guys with their pants down to their knees? I am Christian, but I like the way I dress. Our school allowed open displays of Christian, Jewish, Islamic and African tribal articles in school display cases in the freshman hall, so how can they justify banning Pagan items? Isn’t that against the First Amendment? These questions race through my head the rest of the day and through most of the night, before I finally fell asleep.

The next day at school started like any other day. I walked in the side door and sat on the back library stairs as usual, putting on my headphones and cracking open Anne Rice’s Vampire Chronicles. I was quickly pulled out of my little world when I was hit with something. I slid my headphones down around my neck and looked down at my feet and saw a crumbled up piece of paper. I opened it up and in really messy handwriting, it said: “Go back to Transylvania!” I just threw it away in the nearest trashcan.

It wasn’t until the bell rang to go to class that I started to notice that today was not like any other day. People were looking at me strangely and avoiding my path like the plague. I took a stealthy sniff at myself to make sure I didn’t put too much perfume on again – no. Then I saw it: a sign on the wall above my locker that said: “The locker of Dracula’s daughter”. Just like that piece of paper thrown at me earlier, I tore this one down and disposed of it and hurried along to class, praying this was a nightmare.

The rest of the day went like this. People saying things like “Don’t get too close – she might bite your neck!”, “I dare you to ask her if she has fangs”, or “She’s Goth – of course she’s a vampire. All of them are!” I went through the whole day with people’s dirty looks, the harassing notes, the gossip and things being thrown at me in the cafeteria. The worst part was that not even my best friends would sit with me at the lunch table. This went on for a week, getting worse by the day. At lunch, I had guys yelling “Satan worshipper”, “Blood sucker”, “Leech” and other names, throwing ketchup at me, so my clothes looked “bloody”.

I tolerated their stupidity because I knew there was nothing I could do. One day, it went too far, though. I was walking down the gym hall after first period and I was pushed to the ground. I jumped back up to my feet and lo and behold, it’s the jerks from lunch. I had no time to react before I was shoved into a wall, having my head beat into the tiling and a gold cross being shoved in my face. I don’t really remember much more than that, because the next thing I knew I was on the floor and they were gone.

I went straight to the principal’s office and told him what happened, but he said that assault wasn’t his department and sent me to the school police officer, who said the same thing and sent me to Guidance. I went to my counselor and told him what had happened in the hall and what the principal and the officer had said to me. My counselor said that I had brought the whole situation on myself by doing a speech on something that not everyone in this school understands and that I had to live with it. I didn’t want to sit there and listen to him go on, pointing the blame on me, so I went back to class.

I knew the administration at my school wouldn’t do anything about the harassment or the assaults and my friends were nowhere to be seen, so I told my parents. My dad called the principal and asked him what he could do to help me and Mr. Oblas insisted that he was doing his best to control the other students’ behavior. But I knew that wasn’t true, because the rest of the school year was the same as that week from Hell. My friends had abandoned me. They never spoke to me after it all started. I guess they were too embarrassed to be associated with the school freak. I was alone in this and I was happy when school was finally over and the graduation ceremony over and done, because I knew I would never see those faces again and I wouldn’t have to deal with them.

Now, in my freshman year of college, I look back on last year and still cringe at how people treated me. A school that emphasized character education – telling people to be their own person and to accept those who are different – turned out to be a school of hypocrisy that persecuted me for doing just that. I don’t want to be a carbon copy of a fashion model. I don’t want to be a Barbie who has to follow the latest trend just so I fit in with the popular crowd. I want to be myself, with my own style and attitude and be tolerated, if not accepted for who and what I am. Because to do anything else would be to give up my personality – and that isn’t me. So if being myself – an individual – is so wrong, what is right?

XxX))Eclipse((XxX

*claps* Bravo!

But anyways...yes. Hypocritical and injust. That's so foul to say one thing but act in another way. We have an idiotic system that isn't even humane anymore...not that it was in the first place.

Your essay was good. Not great, but overall, i think it was really good. For some reason, i felt like i was watching a movie with a narrator's voice telling their story. Cool. :)

//Ari\\

wow
i got so pissed reading this
i think you should've called the ACLU,
seriously,
i would've stuck by you, i really would've.
this is a very good essay, very good.
you know, stuff like this is why every 40 seconds someone kills themself. its like, if you did kill yourself(in theroy) it would've beenthe admistrations and students fault. you could totally sue them.
you should've said that the crosses people wear make you feel uncomfortable (think aobut it, a lot of people died on those things, theyre really violent)
this is such a blantant civil rights violation, it makes me sick

Thats an Amazing essay. It "Shows not tells" and is extreemly descriptive, i loved it. Its the kind of essay that is put in the newspaper. Great job.

-Emily-

I haven't thought of suicide, but I am in a state of withdrawl... I feel really paranoid all the time, thinking people are trying to get me in trouble with the college administrators for "offending" them. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells all day... It's awful. I just wish people could be more open minded.

XxX))Eclipse((XxX

Don't waste your wish away on something that will never happen regardless of how much you think it's possible. :)

Open-minded people will come just as soon as all of the racists become extinct.

//Ari\\

Yes, at my school their are a lot of preps, because i live in a wealthy community. But, there are a lot of emo people too. Its too bad because not enough people are who they want to be. I applaud you, for being you. Thank you so much

Wow... Nice essay. Yeah... I remember that. But hey, LCHS is like that... Prepaholics Anonymous.

WHATS WRONG WITH AN AHNK NECKLACE?!! It mean eternail life, thats not morbid!!!!!! WHAT THE DUCE!