I'm going to lose everthing....

I had to do it, I just. I don't know. I need to. I don't care what people say. I need a place to vent, all my friends are out partying and working and none of my online buddies are on. I got called aweful names by some guy, who told me I was an attention seeking drama queen.

He told me so many horrible things like about my sexual assualt and how it was my fault, cause it's always the girls fault, now i am starting to think it is.

So, I cut I had been good for almost two full months after I swore to my byfriend I wouldn't ever cut again and I broke are promise. I feel so much worse now then I did before I had the urge to cut and when I was getting called so many names by that guy.

I just....need someone to talk to...

Edited:

( )_( )
(='.'=)
(")-(") Arrivederci!

Yeah, guys do suck. :(

It was on my mind now I'm mad at myself.

*Blinks*

A little late hun, it's already been done.

I try my hardest, I swear. It's not as easy as people think it is. It's just so addicting and hard to stop once you have started. I love my boyfriend to death so that's why I feel like complete crap now. I broke a promise, something I NEVER do. I should have not even promised him in the first place that way I would not feel like he will yell at me or say he is mad or something.

"yeah that sounds do able......not"

Yeah...what She said.

It's alot harder then people think it is.

I am making a site about it, my friend Angel, she is like my cyber mum has a site it's helpful and now I have to tell her what I did on Monday.

I look so foward to that... x.X

No offence but, shut up.

Your really not helping.

sorry for sounding that way it is just hard when people tell you to be happy.....
---

Same.

See Angie why I edited my post out?

It was something that would had won me the first place on the bitch list.

( )_( )
(='.'=)
(")-(") Arrivederci!

Pyragus, I just want to thank you for being someone who understands. ^.^

I R/C on one of your poems. =D

Atomic I'm used to being bitched at, no big deal. My parents do it, my ex did it. It's just part of life. Got to take it as it hits you. o.O I guess thats how you would say it.

Taylor. I never said I wasn't happy. I know you were trying to help. I really wasn't being mean. I just come off that way. I'm sorry, if it seemed that way.

Night I new you on my old account. ^.^

Meg my old accout was bleedinxheart.

I had to ditch it my dad found it.

Why? Found it how...?

He was reading my poems.
He has a program that locks password usernames ect for the site your on.

I know.
He just looked at me and read a few lines to my poem and asked what that "CRAP!" was. I told him it was my friends.

Yea! I'm in a better mood, thanks everyone. ^^

hmm shit i would go spastic if my dad found out...yeh i've been in the same boat..and also the whole breaking a promise and everything..it sucks...
i just i wish that you would've found some other way to exert your problems cause now u have to stop all over again..
take care all xoxo

I'm a little better. =D My boyfriend wasn't mad, though, he was sad. I guess I rather have him sad then hate me.

I was whatching the "Blue Collar Comedy Tour" on TV and like almost died. I was shoving brownie bites into my mouth and Larry The Cable Guy said some funny joke and a started choking, there was like brownie all over the fricken wall and my cat was going physco and it was bad.

Now my throat hurts, my cat is snoring on my bed, and i wasted good brownies. x.X Well, all of it was funny, I just learned NEVER EVER whatch a comedy movie while being a pig and eating brownies. =D

Blah, blah, blah. My happiness is like gone. Considering I just found out my best friend Andy killed himself earlier today. Not going to complain, since there are some people on here that are mean and wouldn't care. I am going to get off call my boyfriend and cry my little eyes and heart out to him cause he was wondering what is been up with me. Bleck...gives me a good poem to write.

Not that I needed wanted one about this cause he was and still is my best friend even if he has passed on, god I miss him already. It's so hard.

Your telling me, I feel crappy right now, since I'm the only one not crying about my friends death...

I didnt read what anyone put except the 1st post, here is what i have to say to it....

3 of my friends and I were watching a volleyball game at the highschool and one of my friends guy friends came over and started talking, and my friends and i are very, close so we hang on each other hug each other scream i love you down the hall and kiss each others hands ect. but 2 of them were hanging on eachother and he said "I knew it you guys are lebians! (then he laughed)" then after they answered "ohh yeah" He said " i dont blame you most guys are pricks"

we laughed at that, so what i really wanted to share was the last sentence MOST GUYS ARE PRICKS and that was coming from a guy lol...get over it and move on(thats not ment to sound harsh) because you have to, not eeryone you meet is going to be nice, and lifes not always so nice either.

tootles and have a good day!
JBN

P.S

we all make mistakes, don't regret them learn form them, you know how bad you felt for cutting after you swore it off, so in the future just know that it wont help!