Depression for 3years

I have had depression for 3 years now and they never realised it until this year... it actually got so bad that it hurts me to just think about it... I use to cry out all the time in the middle of the night wishing I would just die... I have tried to commit suicide many times... I used O/D, cutting my wrists, drinking lysol (small amount) and hanging myself... none of them worked and I am going into an even bigger depression... The pills I take seem to make me go crazy and I cant handle it anymore... I take prozac and it hurts my stomach lots it feels like its eating my stomach. I used to always ask myself how I could have depression at such a young age.. so I thought it was nothing and turned to drugs and alcohol to solve my problems... when I turnt to alcohol i got go drunk at my friends party, I had sex at age 12 and I couldnt do anything about it..you wont belive how scared I was that I was pregnant... I told my councellor and i trusted her not to say anything but she told social services and they told child welfare and they told the cops.. I really didnt know what to do so the cops interviewed me and made me go for blood tests and a pregnant test I was so terrified so I told my bestfriend... sadly she wasnt much of a friend... she told my bf that I was going out with at the time and told him shit that wasnt true... then he told the school... I was so scared to wake up b/c theyd all give me these glares and looks then theyd come up to me in the middle of the hallway and theyd criticize me about what happened.. I was mortified about some of the things that went around.. Then thats when I had enough and turned to drugs.. well they make you happy for a bit.. personally I though it felt so great but then i realised... it might make you feel good but its not good for you... but then again I tried O/D with that to get over my family problems and what went on at school... most of my friends left cuz they thought I was crazy... I had nobody to look to so I gave up.. I still think about suicide and/or running away... I was thinking about going with my dad then I remembered he raped my mom and that is the reason im here... I really didnt know what to do and I still dont can somebody help me please??

Knowone can explain how someone elses life is so different from there own. Some people have amazing lives. Some have ones I never wish on anyone. But to think about suicide is a low point in your life.. I am sorry you have tried it and still think about it...

I am a strong believer that there is some type of medication out there to treat everyone in a different way.. but there are also some that just make matters worse.. Maybe you should see your Dr. and tell him/her that this medication is making you worse.. and makes you feel sick.. Suicide is a scary thing to look dead on.. and Top be able to act it out takes Balls.. which means you must be at your weakest point.

I would say you should first start out finding yourself. and go see your Dr. Get on medication that makes you feel better. and makes you who you were before.. Secondly there will always be someone around to start crap with you.. I think everyone has had the short end of the stick at some point in there life. Remember you are better then them. And when you get older you will look back and see that those people are worthless now..

You are your own cridic so learn to love yourself before you can go anywhere in life.. It's sad you don't have anyone to go to.. Is your mom not around to talk to? Does you dad still act in that manner.. Does he regret everything he did to your mother... Do you have any relationship with your dad as of now.. These are questions i am asking because Rape is a big deal.. and I don't want to see you stay with him. and that happen to you.. But if you think you can trust him.. Then go with him. and change your life..

If you need anymore help let me know.. Good luck..

Hey thank you so much... It really helped... I am glad god has someone as strong as you.. keep up the good work!

You are welcome.. I am here if you need anything else ok.. Keep your head up.. and see the good things in life.. no matter what they are. Big or small...

Good luck to you :-)

okay:) thank you again..:)