healing?

I've heard a lot of talk on this site about, how do you "heal." And "do the scars ever go away?"
But, as I have yet to, er, slit my wrists or anything like that, I'm talking about a different type of healing. Like, how do you let go of compulsions, bad habits, how do you stop worrying about everything, and actually start to have some fun.
Well, I have that feeling now, as though the "wounds" are closing. Like, I always thought that I was WAY more scared of heights than my sister, and yet recently I went to see a ballet show in the theater, right on the top balcony with her, and she panicked because of the height, while I only felt a faint dizziness...
And also I never, EVER thought that I could do self-defense, primarily because my vertigo is so acute that I have never been able to tumble, but I started a self-defense class and the instructor asked me if I had ever done tumbling (putting your weight on your hands and then rolling, head-first) I said that I'd tried but it had always given me vertigo. Instead of making a fuss and trying to force me to do what I simply could not, at least yet, manage to do, he simply gave me the other alternative, a kind of half-tumble where you put the weight on one shoulder and you tuck your head in. I know that any day he will demand that I catch up with the class and do the full, head-on tumble, but so far I have gained a lot of confidence.

It's strange, but I have the feeling that things might begin, slowly to sort themselves out. Like , my grotesquely pimpled back...it is something that has impeded me from wearing open-backed dresses or shirts for a very long time. But, I'm starting to cut out all the foods that I'm addicted to, the foods that cause me to get pimples in the first place...

I only hope that you, too, whoever you are reading this, has started to heal, in the little, important ways that affect us the most.

//.T.L.//