Worth anything?

I started writing a story, just doodling during a lessonone day! and i wondered if anyone thought it could go anywhere or be worth continuing? If so, walcoming any ideas!

“Hellooooooo?” Her cry reverberated around the walls of the cave. “Is anybody thereeeeeeeeeee?” once again the same thing happened, but no reply came of it. Her long blonde hair tickled her neck, making her sweep around immediately and her heart beat even faster and higher up into her throat. She took two steps forward, ever cautious of her surroundings. She shivered as the deep cold hit her bones. Then a reply “CHARLOTTE!” it cried. As suddenly as the call had come, Charlotte awoke, her hair strung across her face, her duvet hanging off the end of the bed. “CHARLOTTE I WILL NOT TELL YOU AGAIN”
The usual buzz of cars on the road below whistled through her ears and she sank back down on to her bed, her heart still racing thought her body, just as her curious dream was still racing through her mind.
Her alarm clock whirred in the usual fashion and she pulled herself out of bed and slowly dressed.

well it's just barely the start of who knows what... better have a romance though.. I'm a sucker for romances.

wicked =P romance it is! may give it a try during the most boring lessons =)
ty 4 ur comment
xxx

don't get me wrong, romance stories that are nothing but romance are silly. you need a hook, something to smack them in the face with... but a story with A Romance is good. Love/relationships is such a large part of peoples' lives that it is unreasonable for something mirroring them to not mention it at all. Doesn't have to be the focus.

yeah see your point =) well will give it a shot! let you know if i need help!!
xxx

Hmm... Well as a fiction writer, myself, I see this having potential. Possibly a sci-fi romance... I got an idea myself as to how you might continue this: Say, this mysterious house the girl is in within her dream... Her love interest is here. Twist: She only sees him in her dreams, but doesn't realize that she's asleep. And that her new lover is really a kind of psychic vampire, feeding off her lifeforce. Meanwhile, her parents, friends and teachers worry about her constant sleeping habit and think there is something medically wrong with her.

I guess it's just a start.. Use it if you like. If not, it won't hurt my feelings. lol. Also, one note on your writing: Don't do "thiiiiiis" to show a person calling out. It looks boorish and amature. Try something like " As she walked about, slowly, cautiously through the room, she called out - voice like a siren - 'Hello? Is there anyone here?'"

Yeah I agree with ^^ The "Hellloooo" doesn't reallywork as the communication that she is calling out should be shown through descriptioon.

well thanks guys =) useful stuff!
xxx

I see it as a kind of adventure-ish romance type deal...i like the idea about the vampire though. but instead of only seeing him in her dreams, have him be one of her friends, that way when the part about being a vamp comes in there is a bigger sense of disbelief...you know?

eehh, very good. I invented something similar, about people that had dreams, and it was as though they were awake...

I like it. I think you should continue.

//T.L.//