Please comment my poem I'll return the favor

Will someone please comment on my poem "With Him". I normally dont beg like this lol but I havent even got one comment on it (which is rare for me, it must suck). If you dont like it thats fine I want honest comments not only things I want to hear. So please please someone comment it. I WILL DEFINATELY RETURN THE FAVOR I PROMISE!
xoxoxo Haley

please do my newest one "angels"
I ahve done yours and it is brilliant
TO ALL YOU FOLLOWING PEOPLE, THIS POEM IS WICKED