OMG WHAT AM I DOING, I WAS DOING SOO GOOD, PLEASE HELP

I have been a cutter for long time and i had stopped for about two months, and i had been doing soo good. But then things jus all went down hill, my grandaddy died, my grades are dropping, all i do is fight with my sister, i havent been eating, i've lost all interest in my sports, i pissed a friend of mine off when i showed him my poem called "Weakest Moment" he got really pissed off, and like didnt talk to me for a couple days, i am keeping a big secret from my parents, i jus dont know what to do, all that added together was to much i've started cutting again, i cant stop i dont know what to do.

its scary init how u cant stop urself , coz like wen i first started n my mom found out i was like k dats dat ofer wif , but obvisolsy it wasnt ive been cuttin for nearly ova n year n im scared dat i cant stop its adictive ny way if iw as u stop readin poems n fings like dat n try spend time wif ur family even if its just sittin in front of da tv wif dem go do sumfin diffrent hope i help tho i probly didnt , love lid xxXxx

well see my thing is that we cant stop fightin my family cannot be in the same room for more than five mins with out ppl fighing. my sis and i cant get along i love her so much and i take so much crap, and all our fighting is my fault according to my parents, i wrote my sister a poem but it didnt phase her (its called nothing with you) she told me that i didnt mean it and to fuck off cuz i wasnt her sister ne ways. i dunno what to do, i have to keep a huge secret from my parents about my biological dad, and shit like that. IM SO FUCKIN DEPRESSED. IM SCARED I CANT STOP CUTTING.

k how bot we u fink off cuttin u email me , dat will get u offf da idea coz ull fink bot how borin it is to email me , how old is ur sister , dont anyoff ur family get along , well feel free to email me nytime , luv lidxxXxx

See i love and respect my parents, they didnt have to take me, i was adopted and they didnt have to adopt me, and i love them for that, and for my sister, i love her so much i cant stand fightin, i want to stop, i dont know what do to it seems like everything i do, makes her mad, so i dunno.

OMG I JUS GOT NEW THAT MY FRIENDS HUSBAND IS DEAD< OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i

yawn..do you ever think about you KIA! i want
to here the secret...cmon cmon...dont lead us
on! Your boyfriends stupid-and your friends
husband? your 16. ---well....waiting...tell it like
it is...

What??? what are u talkin about??

you are keeping a big secret from your parents-
i was being cynical about telling it to the post.
If you want advice to help deal with a problem
from someone, dont leave hints of future despair.
Nip it in the ass right off the back-or you sound
like another complainer. Think about you KIA,
as a person, inside-we all suffer from similar if
not same indignities in life-you pointed out very
significant things that are failing you-when i let
the stones in my bag sink me-the swim to the
top made my whole body cold and numb at
the same time-i tried to cut once-i felt the cut,
that was me though-i hope you find that one cut
that brings Kia back from the dead.

ok. w/e that meant, my secret is--- i was adopted and my parents know that i know my biolgical mother, but they dont know my father, i cant tell them that i know him, but i need to, i dont know how. i feel really bad about keeping that from them i feel like im living a double life, i feel like im two different people, i jus dont know what to do, i cant tell them but they have to know. and they dont know that im into drugs and they dont know that i cut.

when i did meth, my whole "guilt" world was a
stage of people around me with faces and arms
and legs. I didnt give a shit if they all died-but i
needed excuses to make my next "hit" a good
high. Dont find peace within a comfort zone that
is surrounded by lies(cliche drug talk)-or bring
them into your "life story". you need to start life
over from square one anytime your emotions
cross the tracks and go head on into that "train"
start with you Kia, one stone at a time-

Im not exactly sure what ur trying to say, sorry im a blonde and i dont really understand. please explain.

hey Kia, hold on. i'm sorry about how you feel and about your friend's husband. look, i think drugs are useless things that destroy you. why do you use them? it doesn't make you feel better... as a matter of fact it has become a problem now because you're keeping it a secret. i'll wait for your reply.

thanks, but drugs help, they really do, untill they wear off. i use them cuz they make me feel good, im happy when i have them. yea, i know its a secret now but its not one that matters that much.