poem for college, need some critiques!!

i had to write a poem about family, my effort so far is called 'family tree' please read it and critique it as i need to hand it in on monday and want it to be perfect!!

il return any comments and double any helpful ones!! :)

i need to write a report on it as well about these things:
lexical choices
semantic fields
phonology
grammar
structure
style

so any help just refering to where/how iv used those things would be much appreciated as i find it hard to recognise these things in my own writing!!

ps. if i owe anyone any comments please let me know.

xx kim xx

i will take a look now

There you go, could you have a look at my latest please? THankss, xx

iv been given another week so this offer/request is still wide open!!

NB: helpful comments are those which refer to/mention the things listed above ^^^ or which state improvements