Out of the clear blue sky... "Oh, by the way, you have an older

Ok. Yesterday I read a letter that my brother wrote to my mom. He was talking about a girl whose name is Katlyn Marie. He said that he wishes that she would one day be apart of our family again. I was so confused because I had NO IDEA who the heck she was. So I asked my mom about it and she told me about it. She said that she had a little girl on June 19, 1990. I was born in 91. Well anyways, she said that she had an addiction and wasn't able to take care of her so she had to give her up for adoption. So, now I am all confused because, all of a sudden, I have an older sister! I'm not really mad about that. I'm mad that I was the l-a-s-t person to know! I'm not even kidding. The rest of my family knows. Even my mom's friends know. Is it wrong for me to be mad? I asked her about it last year and she told me no. I asked her because was flipping through her Bible and under births and their was

Katlyn Marie 6-19-90 adopted.

I mean I was a little confused but then I just thought, hmm maybe one of her friends had a little girl.

I don't know how to feel about the whole thing. Help?

i dont blame you... i would be mad as well... you have spent 15 of your life not knowing you had some one more to look up to.

-Terra

Now she wants me to try to right her a letter.

What would I even say?

I am so confused

Hi.

i'm .name., your younger sister. Did you konw that you had a younger sister? i dint know you exsisted until just recently. =]

jus say how you feel an if ud like to no her an viceversa. tell her a bit bout u an ask how she feels bout it an stuff

Wow thats pretty full on for your family you must be feeling a whole lot of different yet strong emotions now...I wish I could give you sound advice babes but I wouldn't have a clue about how your feeling I will try my best anyways...

The reason you probably were kept out of the loop is probably due to your age darling, Im sure your mum didnt want to lie or be dishonest but it would have been diffcult for you to understand this any younger, I mean your struggling to undestand it as is...
Dont be too mad at your mum it must have been a terribly hard decision for her to have to make and even tougher for her to live with and now come clean for her mistakes and dishonesty...I can only imagine how difficult it has been for your mum.

Fact is you do have an older sister, question is - what do you want to do about it?

Life in my experience is much too short, your sister didn't ask for this, neither did you don't deny yourselves the beautiful gift of sistership...

You have every right to be upset, but don't forget to think about the reasons why your mom probubly didn't tell you. All in all I absolutely agree with Eibutsina. Don't let this opportunity in life pass, life's way too short and you may regret it later.

^ I agree

Yeah, I have thought about it and I have realized that I can't be mad at her. She had to do what was best for Katlyn. I guess, I wish I could meet her. I grew up with 2 older brothers and I don't know what it is like to have that sister figure around. You know?

As much of a pain in the bum it is having a sister who steals your clothes and shoes, raids your bedroom, borrows your handbags and annoys the living daylights out of you...having that sister, that best friend you can always rely on who knows you and understands you better than anyone else is a beautiful gift neither of you should deny yourselves...your made a tough and hard decision...now you girls can try and better that by building a relationship together and as a family...

See, that's the thing. I can't!!!! I want to so bad, but I can't. I live in Ohio and the last place we know of her living in is Texas. My mom is trying to find everything out but it is really hard. I am not denying myself that gift. I *want* that. I want that older sister figure. I would do anything for it.

My mom said that we are allowed to write. We have to send the mail to this one person and she will forward it to the family. We aren't allowed to have the address or phone number or a last name.

My mom told me that I can write to her. I really REALLY want to. First off, I don't know how she is going to feel. Second, what do I even say. Third, I am really afriad about how she feels about the whole thing in the first place. Before she was born, my mom had my two brothers. Then, she had Katlyn and had to give her up because she had a drug problem and her ex-husband was at the time, controlling her. And then she had me. I'm afraid that she might feel like she is the kid that Mom didn't want. I really am. The reason I am afraid of that is because that is probably the way I would feel about it.

I don't know what to do!

>black&&blue

for the first letter just right a simple letter... hi my name is.. i am .. years old... oh and hey im your little sister... ohkay a little bit more heartfilled...
ask your mom to put a letter in as well. this way your sister could no a little more... ask your mom to talk about the drug addiction.. and the ex husband... it will be a handful for your sister to take in.. and she may take a while to write back. but if she knows why she is adopted.. she may be able to process it a little better.
and if she already nos that she is adopted then she probably wonders who her real mom is and everything.

after she writes back she may want to no things. so then you can go into detail about everything she would want to no.. and everything you would like to no .

-Terra

I think you should first find out if she is already aware of this situation. Her feelings have to be considered too. maybe her adoptive parents would be the best ones to tell her.I think that it definately was not the best way for you to find out,so its understandable that you would be upset. I don`t think you should write directly to her until you find out her situation , maybe this would not be a good time for her ,but that should be up to the parents who have raised her to decide.I have an adopted daughter, I chose to tell her the truth from the beginning but if I had decided to wait I would have wanted to decide when it would be the right time.

It was an open adoption. Don't you think she would already know?

I am sure she does know about if all your family and parents freinds know about it I think she would to and I would be really mad at my mom not for not telling me but for lying to me that one time and saying I didnt have one....... you should talk to her though get to no her and see if yall are alike

i would be super pissed that not only i was the last one to know, because she never even told me about it at all, even when you saw something about her. you should ask your mom why she hid it from you. most likely she'll say "i was only doing what i thought was best for you"

i hate it whaen family dont tell you things, like my family didnt tell me that grandad is going to die probley next year
i think they dont tell you because they think its best or they think you already know
i was really upset and angry so dont worry about it
me x x x