Laugh Out Loud (lol) #2

Hey Everyone! Charisma* here again with my second contest. This time, I want you to make me laugh....and hard. New or old, long or short, just make me lose my breath and drop to the floor in hysteria! lol

Rules:
1. NO PROFANITY!!!!
2. NOTHING PROVOCATIVE!!!
3. NOTHING RELIGOUS!
4. Must rhyme
5. HAVE FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And this time..............................

There will be only ONE winner!

The prize will be five comments!

So have fun, and give me your best!
Charisma*

Sea Monkeys, Rum, and the Rescue
by Twisted Heart

I got drunk, once again
With some of my friends
We decided to go to the beach,

The sands were still hot
At this summer spot
And the water was there within reach.

We stripped off our clothes
And with sand in our toes
We ran to the sea by moonlight,

We were splashing around
Acting like clowns
Squealing with such pure delight.

The current was strong
It pulled me along
When I felt something tug at my toes,

I was startled at first
But then It got worse
When sea water went up my nose.

I was pulled down
I thought I would drown
When under the water I saw,

Cute little monkeys
Acting real funky
Excitedly, I was in awe.

Their Chatter, unclear
To these human ears
But they were just cute as could be,

They gave me some Rum
We had some fun
Then they thanked me for my company.

Once again, I'm above
The Sea's velvet glove
And I tried telling all of my friends,

They called me a liar
They said I was tired
And I couldn't go drinking again.

So you unbelievers
I'm not a deceiver
I'm telling you this in all truth,

If you ever get drunk
In the water you've sunk
Don't worry, the monkeys will take care of you

****************************************

I hope this is okay. It does refer to drinking. If you would like me to enter another instead, please let me know.

Jeannie

Captain Underpants (Acrostic)
by Italian Stallion

Captain Underpants
Apart from the rest
Points to superman
Taller than could be
A day as Underpants
In a man's pants
Now that is a dirty job

Undercover I go
No where to be found
Down in his pants I hide
Embracing his man kind
Running up and down
Pulling his pants down
A day in a man's pants
Now that is icky poopoo
That smell is just eww
Sounds like a wet one...eww it was

© Copyright 2006 By: Italian Stallion

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Acrostic Poetry is where the first letter of each line spells a word, usually using the same words as in the title. Pretty straight forward, no rhyme scheme or syllable count.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Although I love the title of this poem, it doesn't rhyme and that's one of the rules. So if you'd like to resubmit one that does I'd be happy to take it.
Thanks!
Charisma*

Xx Intoxicated xX

I'm starting to feel wobbly
Not like myself at all
But i've only had a few...
Well that's what I recall

Everythings gone blurry
And a tiny little bit loud
I'm starting to feel sickly
As i'm jostled by the crowd

Where did my best mate go?
Ah, she's over there
I'd better make my way over
Ouch! That was the chair

Keep a tight hold of my glass
Try not to let it tip
Dodging all these people
I hope to God I don't trip

Finally make it over at last
A little bit intoxicated
My head is really spinning now
I think I need to be sedated

Maybe I better stop the drinks
Before I hit the floor
But wait! Tomorrows Sunday!
Might as well have one more! ©

*Gem*

(edit)

opps, sorry about that, yea I probally won't be posting one then since I only have 2 funny poems, and both don't rhyme, and I just don't have the time at the moment to write a new one. Sorry

Peace, Joe

Starbucks {Ode}

Starbucks brings ecstasy of pleasure,
A feeling so divine that cannot be measured.
Leaving me breathless, a feeling of alleviation,
Walking in Starbucks I feel a sense of dedication.
Inhaling the scent of eternal bliss,
I reach out to the gentle cups, giving them a kiss.
Joyful tasting, pleasure me entirely; bursting with vivacity,
This love, this place is full of mystery.

My dear Starbucks, we gather you to praise,
How happy you make us and brighten our days.
Such a beautiful taste, a delicious scent dragging me in,
It must be heaven sent, nothing close to a sin.
Twenty-thousand words may display,
My love for this drink - it is my final way;
Share with me your desire of affection,
Showing me of your love and dedication.

xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex

Inspired By Mysterious Shadows on my Wall.

So, I was walking down this really dark street one day,
with the crappiest music, but my head was banging away.
I almost didn't notice the sword at my throat..
one more step and that purple skeleton would've cut me open.

Well it must have been my lucky 364th second,
because the notorious pink shark came and saved me from the weapon
he tore at the flesh of the raw and bare skeleton..
and if you didn't see the irony in that, therapy is just a suggestion.

As I slide past the stench of burning pink shark,
I follow some suicidal hooker into the dark.
She pulls out a leather whip with the pointiest tip,
and I made the mistake of running from the only action I've seen in a bit.

As I was frantically stumbling down neon hills,
my foot landed on something entirely unreal;
a man laying down on his back, looking at the stars..
I proclaimed, "what a very crazy man you are."

I continue on my parade with flamingos not far behind.
Oh, how their pink wings seemed so happy to be in flight.
They give me a slight smile, but quickly turn away.
I guess they didn't want to see me running into the wall that just happened to be in my way *shrugs*

I quickly recover from a short concussion break,
There seems to be at least on of those on every trip I make.
The white dog with starry eyes motions for me to come here,
then sticks a wet Willy right in my ear.

He must think he's so clever.

I shove past him and stumble my way up the stairs,
thinking my journey would end right then and there.
Oh boy how I was wrong, I must not have seen
the stoned monkey on my bedroom wall staring back at me.

From the start

your my baby
your my sweetheart
ain't no maybe
this I knew from the start
once you were born
I knew I had a star
Hearts were torn
that's who you are
my little sunshine
with a wink
you are mine
it was written in ink

when will judgeing be done just wondering

when I get a couple more entries. Not a specific date, just when I get enough to make it worth the judging! Good question though....and for a more specific time frame, probably no later than this up and coming Wednesday!
Charisma*

title: Library Rules
by: sharona

No Eating
No Drinking
No Talking
Or Shouting

No Swearing
No Spitting
No Hopping
Or Skipping

No Smoking
No Smirking
No Pushing
Or Shoving

No Coughing
No Sneezing
No Sniffling
Or Wheezing

No Pets and
No Petting
No Singing
Or Dancing

No Doodling
Canoodling
Or Fooling
Around

And thanks to
Dear Tony
No kissing
Books

just put something together

Sharona, though I greatly appreciate you putting together a piece for the contest, I cannot accept poems with profanity. So if you would please edit it. I would be glad to take it....Thank you.
Charisma*

please can i reserve

no reserves in this one, but go ahead and write and post it. I'm going to give it about another week or so because I'm going on vacation!
Charisma*
P.S. that means I may not be on for a while, so just post your poems. Remember the rules!

Thank you for the changes Sharona! I look forward to more entries soon!
Charisma*

Santa Is In Town

I went all around
Looking for someone
The belly that’s like jelly
And a suit color of the sun.

I saw him in a big chair
One perfect for a king
On his face he had so much hair
Then he started to sing

Ho Ho Ho, there you go,
Buying treats and gifts.
Please bring something here to me
But make sure that it fits.

He sat back down and drew a crowd
All forming a straight line
They jumped on him and all seemed proud
To sit on a fat swine.

They all whispered in his ear
He simply kept nodding
Then little girl came on him,
shedding many tears.

She kept crying on him
And asked for just one thing.
Please just listen to my hymn,
And make my wish come true

I want my daddy back from there
The place where he’s been sent
At this point fatty frowned a bit
But on and on she went

My mommy sent him to that place
He still has not returned.
Please I just want to see his face
Because I am concerned.

Fatty man asked where he was
And she looked up at him.
Still crying she looked at the ground
And whispered once again.

Mommy sent him to that place
Where he did not want to go
A place where no other man went
Where clothes were colored like snow.

He looked really shocked
wiped the tears from his face.
You mean he is in this mall now
He is still in this place?

She nodded slightly but said
That he could not be found.
He just got up mad
Then threw her to the ground
OWNED!!!

The Winner is In!

Congrats to Twisted Heart!!!!

Your comments will be come soon!
Charisma*

(Really, so many put a smile on my face. Nice job to everyone!)

congraes to Twisted Heart

Awe [Hugs my Starbucks poem] It's ok baby, we'll win another time.

XD
Lol.
Congrats.

xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex

Thanks Robin, love writing funny poetry. Glad you liked it.

Jeannie

Thanks Charisma for choosing my poem.