dating older/younger

so this guy asked me out.hes a really sweet guy and i dont see any problem with us dating but i know the rest of my family would flip!see im turning 16 in about a month and a half and hes 20.if hes a sweet guy why should it matter?does anyone here have a bf/gf with a larger age diff. or any advice from anyone?

well i dnt have a bf with much of an age difference.. its only a few months.. but i kno someone whos bf is 10 years older.. and she had a kid on dec 3rd/06.. all i have to say is becareful and make the right choice.. if you think that its right then go for it.. but if you question it over and over again... or atleast once a day then its wrong for you..

xXxArikaxXx

Just make sure it is legal where you live.. and you are set.

My parents have a 13 year age difference
i agree with most said

Up untill the age of about 20 I find large age gaps a little off putting. If you too are both mature enough, and you are willing to think about the future and be careful (TWO WORDS not one) and you're good together, I don't see a really problem with a 4 year age gap... Now if you were dating some one 13 years older than you, I would.

come on people 4 years aint that bad at all it all how you feel about the person and you just gotta hold off sex untill its legal (will he wait) if he wants this and is not willing to wait hes not worth is (hey and im a guy lol i like the older girls with a lot more of an age diff then that lol up to 24 years lol but we wont go there

some people think...age is just a number!!

it is just a number

You have to ask yourself why he, a 20 year old, is interested in an almost-16 year old. Is he desperate? Thats what usually is the case. But sometimes its not.
If you are mature for your age, and the boys your age seem like complete idiots, which is likely, then I don't see a problem. Girls tend to look towards older guys because they are wiser, they know more, and have experienced more of life. Just make sure you're mature too.

not all men are the same... but it is crazy that a 50 year old is interested in a 14 yearold.. so not right in my eyes..

Hi ms understood :o)

Darling a 16 year old girl is usually just as and if not more mature than a 20 year old boy mentally. I dont think there is really that big a deal personally but I guess your parents might feel a bit differently??
I met my partner when I was just a year older than you are at 17, he was 30 or 31. We are still together and Ive just turned 23. We have a beautiful family of our own now and I am still so happy and so in love with him. I guess it depends on the individual couple and what there goals and desires in life are. Let us know how you go my dear and feel free to PM me for any more advice on my own experience :o)

I agree with what Eibutsina said.

I don't think there is a problem with an older boyfriend, it just depends on the couple. My mom was 17 when she got engaged to my dad who was 23 at the time. And honestly, if I liked a 23 year old and he asked me out, I'd probubly go out with him, too. However, I think that there are certain ages and age gaps that are a definite no-no.

For example, would you let a 12 year old date a 20 year old? Absolutely not. But a 22 with a 30 year old is a different story. Although it is the same age gap, for the 12 and 20 year old it would not necessarily be appropriate because they are completely different in where they are in life, maturity in the emotional and physical aspect, goals and priorities. However for the 22 and 30 year old it would be appropriate if they are on the same boat. Know what I mean? You just have to discern these things for yourself, but be smart and careful about it.

Sarah-Joy :)

well all it comes down to is if you are fine with it. if you feel secure with him, if you trust him.

it does not matter bout your age gap, but others are a bit iffy. just if you really love him go for it.

David

i didnt do a very good job of explainin since there are so many questions.
first off, we were friends before and we flirted ALOT but i was w/ sumone(that sounds trashy but i swear im not that kind of person) and he really respects me.hes a total sweetie and you know how everyone talks about military guys & how they are respectful, well, hes in the army.hes in korea now, due home in may and off to iraq 2 weeks later(im so nervous).
he respects me and my wishs, always has and guess what, he FINALLY asked me out the other day... so we are together and he made me feel... secure about it.i mean i was thinking that hed be like "oh well shes younger, shes immature" but instead he was like "im in til the bitter end" i know if you dont know him the whole "BITTER end" sounds bad, but thats just his way of saying hes commited and im so happy!thanks for all the advice.and btw, yes, i am a virgin, thats 1 thing im keeping til im married.
blessed be

glad you kept your virginity all this time. I still have mine and like you I'm keeping it til I AM married. And very happy to hear about you and your new boyfriend.

Takes alot of responsibilities to be commited to someone whos in the Army. Very well done.!

bob
i just realized something you said earlier...it can only be stac. if we have sex, im not just some easy tramp looking for some and i realize you didnt imply this, i just wanted you to know that because i realize we got started on the wrong foot because of my authority issue so i just wanted you to know this because i respect you as a person and your ideas.

my sweetie is 27 and we haven't got any problem,okay my friends don't approve it,but i don't care we've been together for almost 2 years,and i love him sooo much,my ending sentence is
LOVE CONQUERS IT ALL

yeah. as a matter of fact, the guy i'm with now is 20. and i'm just turning 16...but we've been together for almost 2 years now and we already have a son.

Thing is, I posted a similar topic almost 3-4 weeks ago. It was deleted. Boo you moderating people!

Anyway, I really don't understand why there is such a fuss over a four year difference. I mean, seriously. My father is 7 years older than my mother and they're really happy together. Ms.understood, if you feel like this is a relationship destined to happen, don't hold back. You'll let go of something really special. Break it down slowly to your family- the most important thing is that you let them know how much this guy means to you.

I personally agree with Eibutsina, she has made a valid point. “..That used to be true, however it isn't in today's society, the gap has closed considerably and for the most part kids nowadays are more physically mature, but definitely not more mentally or emotionally mature”. Now, Bob, I don’t think that is necessarily true. Like Angelina said, she is perfectly happy with her partner despite there being an eight year gap; therefore generalizing the fact that kids are “definitely not more mentally or emotionally mature” is evidently no true. I can be crude, blunt and arrogant- though I wouldn't use those things as an excuse to measure my emotional matuirty.

I totally agree with everything Sarah-joy said- I was initially going to post something identical to that; but someone stole my reply! Anywho, Ms.understood- you’ve heard what we have to say, but what you think and feel comes before our opinion.
It’s great that you feel secure and that he’ll treat you well- just be sure to mention that to the folks at home!

Good luck, dear! :].x

oh, he's in the army, huh? he probably has trouble keeping relationships then, and he figures a 16 year old will be busy enough with school that she won't have to rely on him 24/7. that or he's holding out for sex. and he's extremely patient. I mean, he made it through basic, so...don't go expecting anything big to come out of it. beyond sex. and love. and romantic feelings. but, hey, he may just be desperate. in which case, eh, you should be fine. I hope he comes back okay.