2 for 1....

Hi

I have just revised and updated a poem of mine quite a bit and would like thoughts on the new version. In return I will leave feedback on two of your poems.

The poem is called Even The Furniture Bleeds, and the original is still posted under that title. I've just posted the new version under Even The Furniture Bleeds (edited).

I would appreciate any comments and feedback on the changes and also if I should make anymore.
The poem uses many metaphors to portray the message, and this was the primary focus of my rewrite.

If you are having trouble understanding any part, don't be afraid to say, and I'll try and explain the meaning, as I realise not everyone is used to reading metaphorical poetry.

Thanks for the favour in advance.

Oh and please leave comments more than a few words long as "well done 5/5" isn't helpful what-so-ever.
So all poets leaving a decent comment will in return recieve 2 decent comments on their work. Just leave titles below if you have specific pieces you would like me to look at.

Thanks again.