--Funny-- Ends April 1

CLOSED CLOSED CLOSED CLOSED CLOSED!!!!!!

This is a contest for anyone who wants to try. The contest ends on April 1, and I hope that a lot of people enter.

You need to send in a funny poem, and it can be about anything that you want (as long as it's funny).

Rules:
-No rude grammar against others
-Poem must be FUNNY
-1 poem per person

By the way, You get PrIzEs:

1 place: 8 comments or votes (you choose)
2 place: 6 comments or votes (you choose)
3 place: 4 "" ""
All other contestants: 1 vote

Good luck!

Peeeeeeee U!
by: Melanie

Don't you love your own farts?
i know mine are just swell
it's fun to fart out loud
and to relax in the wonderful smell

Eggs,beans, a dead animal,
whatever the smell may be,
to me it smells like roses,
but I'm sure you won't agree

There's loud ones, silent ones, deadly ones,
all of which I personally enjoy
it's just like the happiness of a child,
when mommy buys them a new toy

Other people's farts are gross,
they don't have your personal stench,
especially when they fart in public,
for some clean air, i always clench

if you can't hear a fart,
you can surly smell the scent
it always lingers in the air
and even goes through the vents

farts are just another part of life,
that we all must accept
but sometimes people let one rip in public,
a fart they did not expect.

© MLS

is that poem eligible?

That Dreaded Beep

I'd love to throw it at the wall
Hit it every time it calls
Scream at it for being there
Angry 'cause it doesn't care

Wakes me from sleeps embrace
To bring me to this dreadful place
Tells me work is coming fast
And this hour just won't last

I hit one button to make it hush
But because of that I'm in a rush
If only I'd listened to it's beep
Instead of going back to sleep

Wrinkled clothes and mismatched socks
Don't talk about my horrid locks
Coffee breath that gum won't hide
Stuck in traffic, hate this ride

The boss is furious that I'm late
Work's piled up, and for me waits.
No breakfast in my stomach sits
And with this work, lunch I'll miss

That stupid beep rings in my head
"You should have gotten out of bed."
Don't think I'll sleep in again
Why must that alarm always win?

By: Charisma*

Rumor Has It
By: Twisted Heart

Rumor has it
I am told
That men are made
Of flesh and bone

But as I sit
inside these walls
I think that rumor
isn't true at all

True, maybe women
Are what is told
But men can't be
of flesh and bone

Much truer they
So it is heard
Are made of tongues
And broken words

For if you sit
with one a spell
And watch his mouth
as it swells

Before you know it
you will see
A lie will come
so faithfully.

Xx Why are rubber ducks yellow? xX

Why are rubber ducks yellow
Is it something they ate?
I don't think they eat bananas
That would make them irate

Is it something in the water?
That they swim in so happily
Maybe it's the bubble bath
That they play with blithely

It could be herbal shampoo
That's turning the feathers gold
All of them are affected now
It's getting out of control

Or maybe it's the conditioner
That's causing this colour change
Normal ducks aren't yellow
Something here is very strange

Why are rubber ducks yellow
Did this happen long ago?
Is it something secret and odd?
I guess we'll never know ©

*Gem*

(A random poem, i love my rubber duck =)

This is just about as funny as I get. =/ Lol. I tried, I hope you enjoy. =]
``````````````````````````````````````````

La, La, Lie {Triquatrain}

I will laugh if you'll sing, I'll bite if you'll sting --
Let's play this game of ignorance to the dime.
I'll smile if you'll shout, I'll hush if you'll pout --
Let's start a game of malice to pass the time.
I'll masquerade to balls; you'll crumble and fall;
Shout out discomfort with childish wishes.
I will laugh if you'll sing, I'll bite if you'll sting --
This is a la, la, lie -- suck up your kisses.

---------------------------------------------------

The Triquatrain form was created by Robert L. Huntsman. It is a quatrain poem in tri-rhyme
with a specific rhyming pattern (see below). Lines 1 and 3 have internal rhyme whereas lines 2
and 4 do not.

Rhyme Pattern:

(a,a)
b
(c,c)
b

(d,d)
e
(f,f)
e

xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex

Good poems all of you, just remeber, funny. Keep on submiting!!

Dinner is served
by J. Lau

Broccoli and cheese,
Steak and peas.

Cut the stems,
Wash them clean.
Spice the steak,
Boil some water.

Heat the pan,
Open that can.
Sizzle the steak,
Steam those veggies.

Melt the cheese,
Cover over broccoli.
Melt some butter,
Mix into peas.

Serve them hot,
Onto their plates.
Dinner is served,
Under an hour.

< - - - - - - - - - - - >

Can it be an old poem?

It can indeed be an old poem. Great poems!!

Random can be funny ;)
_____

I Love Cheese
by ∫Bëløveđ∫

I love cheese
It's very good
Yellow to blue
It's a great type of food

Dip crackers in it
Have some on pizza
Lactose intolerant?
Try soy mozarella

Stick it on spaghetti
Have it alone
Everything's nice
When you're snacking at home

I love cheese
I shall make it mine
On Feb. 14
I shall give out cheese valentines!

now you've inspired me to submit my cheese poem. =]

Shorter than yours but. lol. it was like a jingle for a commercial! lol

It may not be as good as
Swiss or Smelly Blue
But Good ol American
can taste pretty good too.
It isn't sold in Europe
or made fresh each day,
but give the US Dairy a chance
try some American Cheese Today!
HEY!

xD

Keep writng! Great poems everyone!!

how many can we enter?

Can the poem be old?

1 poem per person. Indeed the poem can be old.

Keep on submiting :D!!

Hah! I forgot about my post! Anywho, people keep submiting! It's depressing the loss of interest...

Times Resting Place

Time has found a resting place settled in my skin,
My face is full of age, and 40's round the bend,
Wrinkles and laugh lines have made my face their home,
Dark circles form below my eyes, when in my youth not shown,
My eyes are nestled back with knowledge in my years,
Any sign of adolescence passed away in tears,
My breast have now become pointed at the earth,
A woman now with more than just the average girth,
The figure that I once had in my blissful youth,
Is now a mid-aged woman who cannot hide the truth,
My waist it now bulges and my thighs may seem too thick,
In my hands arthritis and my elbows pop and click,
My shoulders get some pain just every now and then,
My knees have become weakened and sometimes just won't bend,
I can't begin to tell you about my aching feet,
Yes my figures a memory ...In youth I can't compete.

Dixie

3 more days!!!

Tomorrow is judging. Good luck everyone!

Th judging will be done as soon as I can, so check in to see if you're one of the winners.

Kkk

Wow! This was so hard to judge! I loved all of your poems and it makes me sad to only pick three. *cries*. Here are the results, and if you want your prize, you need to tell me what poems you want me to read and if you want a comment or vote. (The prize amounts are written at the top)

1.*Charisma*
2.Beloved
3.*Gem*
4.Everyone else

I also want to say that if anyone else is intersted, I have another contest going. It's about Fruits Basket, so if any of you have read the books, submit :D!!

Yay! lol. Can you comment my latest ones please?
Congrats to everyone
And thanks again!!
*Gem*

WOW! Thank you! Congrats Everyone!!!

Please COMMENT my most recent 8. Thank you!
Charisma*

Okay, I'll get to the prizes soon, I'm so sorry!

Congrats People!