theworst choice i ever made...short story...based on true events

The Worse choice I ever made

“ We gather in this place today to remember the short life of Chris Durkson,” the reverend drowns on, “ this life was cut short on Friday November 8th 2004, but his unlawful and unheard of suicide, now will every one please bow their heads as I open this service in a prayer? Dearest God above….”
He continues to pray as friends and family squirm in their chairs and let their tears hit the pews. Chris was a great kid was never in trouble till that fateful day when he was caught with my drugs, yea my only habit he didn’t like, my drugs. I had asked him to hold them for me when I got sent to the office for being a disturbance in class. He put them in his locker and said that I had to get them as soon as possible because if he got caught with them his dad would have a cow. Well when I was in the office the department of corrections brought their drug dogs to our school to check for well you know, Drugs. As the drug dogs went through our halls Chris still had my drugs. The cops called him into the room beside me and I heard him pleading with them but never giving up my name,
“I’m just holding them for a friend I’ve never done drugs in my life, I am a dedicated soccer player and a devote Christian.”
I freaked out bursting out of the room where I was, slamming right into Chris’ dad,
“Mr. Durkson, the drugs there mine! Mr. Durkson are you listening? He held them for me when I got in trouble, I never let him even try it with me, please Mr. Durkson, do you understand? Take it easy on him its my fault, he held them so I wouldn’t go to jail.” I pleaded with him and he just pushed me out of the way.
“Where the hell is my son? I want to talk to the stupid boy right now, get my son now!”
“Please, Mr. Durkson, understand that the drugs were found in his locker and that means he is expelled from school and the cops have to take him into custody to take and finger print him, and formally charge him plus they will need to book him for court and start all of those proceedings.” Said Hampton, the guy’s counselor at our school.
“Wait!” I plead, “the drugs are mine, don’t take Chris, take me please do you understand me? Hello? Listen to me! God damn it the drugs are mine! Please! Hello?” I panic.
No one will listen to me and I just get pushed out of the way again, why don’t they believe me? The drugs were mine I did have him hold them and now my best friends going down for me and there’s nothing I can do to make it right.
Bringing my thoughts back to the service I hear Chris’ dad start to cry frantically,
“ My son was a good kid and I feel that his death was truly uncalled for and a mistake, my son was an avid soccer player, he was in the band, he was active in his youth group, and he lived his life carrying his crown of thorns daily!”
“Would any one else like to recall on a good time or a fun time they had with Chris?” the priest asked.
This priest is making things worse! Yes there are a million times I would like to tell you about, like the time I was walking home from school and he seen me all by my self and started talking to me we had been best friends ever since. Or like the time I first did drugs and all he would say is “I’m not leaving you here alone with all those drugs in your system”, or about the time I tried rehab because he wanted me to. Plus the time we went camping and he pushed me in the lake, I was so mad at him for that, now all I want is to be able to do it all again, There are many times he was there for me. Time when I was on drugs times I was off drugs, time I just wanted to do drug and then have him there to hold me through a bad high, Then my drugs took him from me. I took away my own best friend.
“I would like to say something, I just want to tell you all, Chris’ family and friends that I am truly sorry for your loss and I wanted to tell you that your son, nephew, grandson, boyfriend, and friend saved my life more than once, he held my hand the first time I got high, he took the gun from my hand when my dad died, he kept me in his prayers and loved my like Jesus would have, and because of my choices and my drugs you are with out a son, nephew, grandson, boyfriend, friend, brother, and an uncle,. I feel I owe you all my life and I will do anything you ask even though I cannot replace Chris and cannot take away the pain. I thank you all for listening to me with respect and I want you all to know I plan to go back into rehab because that’s all Chris ever tried to do when he was alive, thank you again, this time is for Chris!”
Walking from that church with out Chris at my side was like taking the never-ending walk of shame, I still can’t believe that Chris got that low and didn’t call me and he didn’t leave a note to explain himself. I know this is my fault entirely and I know that I will never again take a drug into my body for Chris. It is my fault that they are without now.
Chris’ father told me that I was welcome at his house anytime after I went through rehab. Mr. Durkson even drove me to rehab, which was a seven-hour drive. We talked about all the good times and the bad ones to, we cried together and laughed. I also gave him something Chris had given me years ago, a letter to his dad that he had wrote in the seventh grade, talking about his hero and his life with his dad. All the things he enjoyed and all the time he was proud of his dad.
When I got all settled into rehab I sat down and wrote Chris a letter:

Chris,
I don’t know how I let things with my drugs get so bad, I tried rehab once and didn’t get any where because I didn’t really want to give up my drugs and I didn’t want to leave my other friends behind.
When I did that, what I was really doing was leavening you behind, I left you for drugs and dealers, I left you for a high that never lasted, a high that never held me when I needed it to, a high that never lasted as long as our friendship did, or could have.
You are my best friend and you lived the last three years of your life trying to save me so this time in rehab will be my last and Chris this is for you, for every time you sat with me when I couldn’t walk cause I was on drugs, this is for you taking the fall for me, I don’t know why you chose to take your life Chris, but I will never forget walking into your room to wake you up on that Friday and finding your dead body on the floor, the gun just inches from your face, the tear stains on your pillow, the blood everywhere, dripping onto the floor, looking down I see that you had also tried to call someone, must have been after the shot, before your last breath, the phone was out of place, and you never left your phone off the charger unless you were using it.
I will always remember the times you saved me and you wondered why I couldn’t give up drugs to save you. It was my drugs that killed you and I have to live with that forever.
Thank you Chris for every time you saved me, and even for the times I wouldn’t let you save me, for every time you would make me stay at your house because my drugs were at my house and I couldn’t use them if I didn’t have them, thank you, Chris, for the short life you lived to save me.
I fell asleep that night crying. When I woke up the next morning I woke up without a craving, without a high, and without my best friend again. I wanted to die, but the pain and the tears that my family and Chris’s would go through was not worth me taking the easy way out. I decided right there and then that I was going to get out of bed and go out into the rehab center to share my stories, my heartache, and my life with all of those unknown teens, to try and make them understand that drugs aren’t worth the lives of those close to you.

this is based on my cousin davids suicide and the events leading to that, thank you for reading