Just a question....

If ur biological father was an abusive alcoholic drug addict and then after ur parents divorced...he disappeared for 9 years.

u search and find him. hes diagnosed with heptitis c...its really bad. and has almost passed twice.

u see him for the first time and hes nothing u remember....he looks so sick.

how would u feel???

Actually, me and my dad went through a similiar experience. It was his illness that allowed me to forgive him and move on.

Now we are close once againand this time is better. He realizes where he screwed up and actually admitts his faults.

Before he fell so violently ill there was no chance that our relationship could have mended.

I have chosen to forgive and I am very thankful that I did. Even if we were still astray I realize that until I was able to forgive him I was never actually living my life to the fullest.

It is good to forgive and to move on. However, never forget what happened.

--Sher

Yea. i should prolly feel that way. but sometimes idk how i should feel because of the way he neglected us...yet it tore me apart seeing him like that and him rolling away in his chair knowing i prolly wont see him again.

ughh oo well. thanks.

With him its hard to forgive him since he doesnt realize where he went wrong. he blames things on my mother still. the only thing he can admit is how he wasnt there for us. i try to forgive him, but idk how i can.

You have choices.

You can try to still be there for him even if he wasn't there for you

or

You can try to just move on and act like you didn't hve a dad or anything like that.

Atleast he DID admit that he wasn't there for you guys'.

It's a kind of the "wait and see" kind of thing!

Im sorry u had to deal with something similar.

all i want is an im sorry too but i dont think ill ever get it.

I had to deal with similar things as well but getting a sorry out of someone like that is very rare.

When they get addicted to drugs they become selfish and ashamed of what they are doing to their families but continue to do it anyways, so just know that you need to live lief and be better than him.

Best wishes. =)

I would feel really weird. like umm. it's hard to explain. but good luck with him.

....

Um wow

Well, like shit.
But if he was abusive and an alchoholic, the why would you want to seek him out? I know it is awful that he is sick with hepatitus, but how did he get it?
I dunno...I'm no help

Would never forgive him.

He got it from either drugs or sex. thats how its passed.

Forgive him because you can and it won't hurt anyone. Be the better person. Forgive but never forget.

Try to forgive him - but never forget.
& just try to be there for him the best you can.

I can kinda relate to this problem so i might be able to help...

My dad abandoned me close to when i was three weeks old. (he was also an alcoholic)

So all I can really say is how I would react if i saw him...

You're going to feel compassion for him somewhere because whether you like it or not he is the man who did help create you , but not neccesarily your father because he's neglected you for these years.

It would be up to how he is now, if he hates himself for what he's done then i would say be the bigger person and try to (like the person above said,) forgive (but never forget)

or if he's still the drug addicted neglectful father, I would say you're better off without him, any man who can abandon something that's his, and have no regrets, is a waste of a body and doesn't deserve anything other than a painful and lonely death (sorry bout the anger in this statement above)

Like I said it depends on how he is now, and how much you care for him even though you know what he's done.

So, basically, your bio dad sounds exactly the same as mine, although mine doesn't have hepatitis C and I haven't spoken to him for eleven years...

Recently, my older brother got in touch with him, but I don't think I'm ready to see him.

First and foremost, you have to forgive him if you want a relationship with him. I forgave my father, and it felt like a hundred rocks came off my shoulders.

Second, you have to decide if you want to be a part of his life or not.

It all goes from there.

Very very sad. and I would feel sorry for him. but also, I would try to stay strong

"With him its hard to forgive him since he doesnt realize where he went wrong. he blames things on my mother still. the only thing he can admit is how he wasnt there for us. i try to forgive him, but idk how i can."

^^ You can. It's part of growing up, and becoming a woman. When you forgive him, your life will change. No matter if he's willing to admitt all his mistakes or not. Because, that burden will be lifted off of you. And, it will show that you're nothing like him, because he can't forgive your mother for mistakes, nor himself for his own.

And, he will realize it soon.. If you forgive him. He'll have a reason to see and know what he's missed out on and why. He'll learn it's not because of your mother, but because of his own foolish ways.

I wish you the best of luck, sweetie. <3

And, that dude with the big sandwhich.. Well, that's a big sandwhich. It made my eyes like go wide, wide, wide. :|