Tastless Joke Time!!

DISCLAIMER: These jokes are very offensive. If you don't like it, please don't read. No rasicst jokes please.

I'll start

How do you make a dead baby float?
Three parts root bear, two parts dead baby.

How do you make a dead baby sink?
cut his floaties, and thow him in the pool.

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a corvette?
I don't have a corvette in my garage.

What is the difference between a truckload of bowling balls and a truckload of dead babies?
You don't need a pitchfork to unload the bowling balls.

What's black and blue, and doesn't like sex?
The dead baby in my trunk!

why are they all about babies?

What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline?
When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off.

How do you know when a baby is a dead baby?
The dog plays with it more.

What's red and lies in all four corners of the room?
A baby that's been playing with a chainsaw.

What is special about a dead baby over all other forms of life
You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter

What did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?
"See you next month!"

A fellow was on his honeymoon near his favorite fishing lake and he would fish from dawn to dark with his favorite fishing guide. One day the guide, friend of many years, mentioned that the honeymoon seemed to be spent fishing.

"Yes, but you know how I love to fish..."

"But aren't you newlyweds supposed to be into something else?"

"Yes, but she's got gonorrhea; and you know how I love to fish"

A few hours later, "I understand, but that's not the only way to have sex."

"I know, but she's got diarrhea; and you know how I love to fish..."

The following day: "Sure, but that's still not the only way to have sex."

"Yeah, but she's got phyrrea(*); and you know how I love to fish..."

Late that afternoon, thoroughly frustrated: "I guess I'm not sure why you'd marry someone with health problems like that."

"It's 'cause she's also got worms; and you know I just love to fish..."

An elderly couple, still very loving after all these years, is shocked when the woman's doctor says she has a heart condition that could kill her at any time. She is to avoid stress, eat right, and never, ever have sex again--the strain would be too much.

The couple reluctantly try to live by these rules. Both get really horny over time, however, and the husband decides he'd better sleep downstairs on the couch to guard against temptation.

This works for a few weeks, until late one night when they meet each other on the stairs--she's coming downstairs, he's heading up.

"Honey, I have a confession to make," the woman says, her voice quavering. "I was about to commit suicide."

"I'm glad to hear it, sweetie," the man says, "Because I was just coming upstairs to kill you!"

any more jokes?

The teenage granddaughter comes downstairs for her date with this see-through blouse on and no bra. Her grandmother just pitches a fit, telling her not to dare go out like that !!!!

The teenager tells her, "Loosen up Grams. These are modern times. You gotta let your rosebuds show!" and out she goes.

The next day the teenager comes downstairs, and the grandmother is sitting there with no top on, With her old wrinkled pair on show. The teenager wants to die.

She explains to her Grandmother that she has friends coming over and that it just is not appropriate .....

The grandmother says, "Loosen up Sweetie. If you can shown off your rosebuds, then I can display my hanging baskets."

Michael Jackson and his wife are in the recovery room with their new baby son.

The doctor walks in and Michael asks: "Doctor, how long before we can have sex?"

The doctor replies, "I'd wait until he's at least 14."

Some f***ed up s***!!!! LOL

What's grosser than gross?
10 dead babies in a trashcan.

What's grosser than that?
1 dead baby in 10 trashcans.

What's red and sits in the corner?
A baby chewing on razor blades.

What's green and sits in the corner?
Same baby, a week later.

"Daddy, why do I keep walking in circles?"
"You be quiet or I'll nail your other foot to the floor!"

What's grosser than gross?
Throwing your underwear at the wall and they stick.

What's grosser than that?
You come back 10 minutes later and they are 5 inches higher.

"Daddy, I HATE my sister!!!"
"You be quiet and eat what's put in front of you!"

haha these are great

What was John Denver's last wish?
A burial at sea

"Oh God! I'm dead." Now showing at theaters near you. See St. Peter for times.

How many John Denver's does it take to crash an airplane into the ocean? Only one, if you have the real John Denver.

Does this mean Elton John will have to write another dead blond song?

What do you call John Denver at the bottom of ocean?
A good start.

John Denver's last song "Road Kill on the Rocky Mountain Highway."

John Denver shows up at the Pearly gates. St. Peter asks, "Well, son what brings you here?"
"My engine blew up and I crashed into the ocean and if I ever get my hands on the guy that worked on it ..."
St. Peter looks him the eye and explains, "This is heaven. The mechanic that was working on your plane showed up a half hour before you took off."

What'd John Denver's wife want for Christmas?
A wet Willie.
Sorry, that was the punch line for my Clinton joke.

An Israeli, a Jew and John Denver show up at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter says, "I'm sorry, John Denver jokes are out."

You're sick.

Umm...these are kind of disgusting....

Those are great, my mom told me sum of those when i was in the 3rd grade