A troubled soul with nowhere to hide (Part 1)

Over the past week, i set about constructing a poem, i wasnt sure where it was going, but this morning, i had the last 2 lines perfectly set within my head.
Now i have completed it, and it is titled "A troubled soul with nowhere to hide (part 1)".

Now i am setting about with part 2 and i'd appreciate if you could read, rate and comment Part 1 and tell me honestly what you think.

I am not sure exactly how many parts this poem has, but each part will play a significant role in the ending.

KEEP YOUR EYES PEELED.

I will comment 2 poems in return.

Love Tara-Kay

Any comments will be greatly appreciated.
Please do not be afraid to be cruel, i can take it, i assure you.