Why does it happen? why do we feel it years later?

When i was 12 i was in a car crash, i was in the backseat, my parents in the front seat.
Both my parents died, and i survived.
i saw my parents dead as they were pulled out of the car.
i spoke at their funeral.
i was an only child, and i ended up living with my grand parents.....
Its been 4 years. im 16.
i try to hide my feelings. i break loose sometimes.
i lose control.
it hurts. it always will.

Tell me your story.
share your pain.
lift the weight.

It could be survivor's guilt :( Have you talked to people.

I have talked to councellers,
i cant move on.
something inside me wont let me.
the funny thing is i can remember every detail of the crash.
so maybe it is survivors guilt. i dont know what to think...