The Dating Game: Is it Justified?

I've been reading this book. The idea of it is kind of radical, but logical at the same time.

How many times have we strangled ourselves silly with worries and fantasies about someone who we say/think that we "love" when, five months later, you laugh at how you thought you loved that person and you are with someone new?

or how many times have we used all of our energy trying to make a selfish relationship work on someone who doesn't or wont matter to you later? And afterwards, how many times will we feel regret.. about anything at all?

I don't think relationships were meant to be this way, you guys.

I think (and don't hate me for this) that short term dating/premature intimacy while we are not mature enough to handle the commitment is just plain hurtful to you and the other person. All it does is make you focus on what YOU want: on what the other person can give/do for you.

its like asking someone else to drop everything and focus on you. But with no intention of returning the favor, or with any promise of an easy ever-after

I know most people would dissagree, and say that they're relationships are "different" and stuff. But think about it, how many times have you thought that? And how many times have you been hurt? How many times have you felt guilty, especially for giving your heart away so many times, all to have it broken?

Is it all just a vicious cycle?

I think, that most of us aren't ready for this stuff. Because, truthfully, relationships are supposed to be about giving. We are supposed to put our own needs aside for the benefit and growth of others and be HAPPY about it. We are supposed to be content with a person's limitations, physically and mentally.

We are supposed to encourage them, not discourage. We are supposed to give them the space they need to grow into their own person. We are supposed to know when a relationship has gone sour, and by the goodness of our intentions, let things lie where they may, and not make a big deal, stressing eachother out.

Anyway. I wanted to say that stuff. No reason to it.

"And how many times have you been hurt? How many times have you felt guilty, especially for giving your heart away so many times, all to have it broken?"

I can relate to this line..

Hmm..it's a really interesting point of view..

and i also can relate with the lines above =]

but i'm not sure i agree to it all though. still it made me think..

I'm gonna disagree. I think you're just tired of the games. What you mentioned is just a view of a person who doesn't like the lack of seriousness (along with care, giving, and all the love-doviness) in dating. Should some of us give more (only some since the balance of give&take would never apply evenly to all), a coupla months later, we would see posts about the excess of seriousness to result in even worse heart breaks than before.

Bring what you have to offer and look for what you want...that's the simplified version of what's in dating and relationships. Don't dream of "utopian relationships"

Intresting. There were some very good points made. Though, there are you handful of people that aren't like that. It does hurt to have your heart broken, but I believe it necessary to happen at least once in your life. As teenagers you are expected to date. I do believe the word "love" is abused is relationships now. Many people say it before they feel it if they ever do.
As a wise teacher once told me, you have to kiss many frogs before you find your princess... and I believe that to be true.

I guess everything really depends on the maturity of both parties.