Attention Seeking

So....we've often heard people say that he or she is attention seeking, and they intend that as a ridiculing/negative remark.

However, what is wrong about seeking and wanting attention?

Don't we all want to feel loved? Don't we all want to be appreciated and told that we are special? Yes, we all have that need. So what if someone, who doesn't have that need fulfilled, goes about to do so? They need attention. YES, THEY DO. Unless done using lying as a tool, I think it is perfectly alright. Someones having a bad time, and is crying for help. We tell them to go suck it up and live life. I get that....but what I don't get is why attention seeking is looked down upon when actually it is a common need shared by so many people.

In my opinion attention is an inevitable need that is a requirement that needs to be fulfilled. Lying to do so, is wrong. But wanting people to listen to you because you feel ignored, is not.

I agree with this.

Everyone needs to feel loved - if they can come here and get support from people who have been in their shoes before - whats wrong with that? As long as they're not lying about it and going overboard - then at least they can go somewhere to feel part of a group if their family doesn't provide one.

If you dont agree with that Nicko - whats your reasoning?

Yes...Everyone wants and needs to feel love, and there are different outlets to it.

But to harm yourself just to get attention is really a pathetic thing to do.

If someone self harms just for the attention, which many do...It distracts us from those that are actually killing themselves. And confuses us as well in not knowing who's self harming because of enviormental/psychological/sociological reasons or whos self harming because they want attention.

We all need attention, but many of us don't hurt ourselves just to get it.

Oh c'mon Bob...don't kid yourself...when was the last time you read "that's just attention seeking behaviour" when the writer didn't mean to be negative? I don't know of such an instance

Noir....I think self harm itself is wrong, be it for attention, or be it for any other reason....

However, self harm for attention is the same as using any other means to voice your need for attention. It is wrong, but it is not better or worse than any other way in my opinion. If the thought process is something like -- No body who cares --> Self harm --> Someone please listen (attention seeking attitude), I think that is okay. Self harm itself is wrong, and everything should be done to stop it, but the person with a similar train of thought is not doing it to become famous or something, its just his (wrong) way of asking for help. Let me correct my view...I don't think it is okay, but it shouldn't be looked upon as an offence....rather as a disorder, that should be cured.

Oh....okay Bob. Personal experience separates our personal opinion....and owing to the fact that you have more years behind you than I do, I accept your view.

I wasn't actually associating "attention seeking" to self harming. I dont agree with self harming at all - even tho it is a fact of life that people do it for attention or a cry for help... I was more talking about people getting the attention of others for support, love etc

I said, everything can be read from many different perspectives

^^ Yeah, I agree....and also that it is this fact that causes quite a lot of conflicts and misunderstandings

My love (I'm sure you know, a lot do, unless they've got amnesia :P) had memories of my avatar. She used to talk about it with such passion. In her old school, which was located on the hills over looking the lake (a boarding school she describes as heaven) , when she was 14-15 yeats old....Her best guy friend used to swing her on a tyre like that.....but Sometimes I wonder that if what I'm feeling is real, and if these are indeed the best years of my life.....just where IS my life going from here?

(I've not had the most colorful childhood, with all its adventures and risks....owing to the fact of having few few friends, and being quite a loner) but its been a safe one, and i'm sure that the times to come will change that, for the worse or better I can't tell now

I don't much stick to topic do I :P

You're only still a spring chicken. You speak like you're old and your days are numbered with too many things in the back of your mind to do before death...

When I was 17, I was about to buy a house, had my own car, a boyfriend of 3 years, a good stable job, living in Perth, Western Australia... but I wasn't happy - felt trapped and bitter and stagnant. Bit later on, I had traveled through Africa for 6 months on my own, come to London without knowing a soul, set meyself up and now have traveled through 26 countries and am having a blast (and found the love of my life while doing all this). But first I had to give up all my securities to get to this point now. And so do you have to allow yourself to jump out that nest (whatever that first scary step might be).

The world is your oyster. Put some salt on it and consume it!! :)

I'm so fond of Bob's advice I'd actually create problems to get it :P
Mo-- thank you for yours too...

I know I know I know....life is very beautiful :) It can do better than right now, but right now is really wonderful for me, and I know it RIGHT NOW....which, I think, is an achievement.
I'd also encourage everyone to blog.....not just stupid things, but actually dig deep within them and introspect...I've been doing that since two months, and I've learnt things about myself I'd NEVER have known.

Oooo - Im becoming something of a lecturer! Sorry about that! :)

But I never have really been one to stick to thread's topics.

Can I be devilish and just say...

... when you just told us that bit about you having a lonely childhood, with not too many friends etc... one could have viewed that as you seeking attention (in a negative or positive way).

What say ye about that?

:)

BOB!! He was actually head over heels for me, a-thank-q very much! :)

But yeah - SO glad I decided to leave all that behind and do what I wanted to do in life. I got so sick of always doing what I thought others wanted me to do. Maybe thats why I am like this now - say what you want to say, do what you want to do. You're living life for you only and not for anyone else. :) Im glad I did it.

And yeah - you probably should pity him. Although... he's marrying one of my best friends now ... so guess he's better off too now! :)

Yes, that's very possible.

And, maybe it WAS unconsciously attention seeking....I WANT friends, so I claim I don't HAVE friends, unless it's a lie, its okay, isnt it?

:)

Thank you Bob! :)

Yeah thanks Bob. You've made my day! :) haha

Now Im going to try my hardest to make you think of me LOTS during the day - the more kicks in the head you give yourself... just means I dont have to work up a sweat doing it myself.

Dhaval, you put down in words what I have believed for a very long time. There is nothing wrong with seeking attention. Most people in need of attention are attention-deprived. Especially when you know you're going to be ridiculed for seeking attention, why would you? Because there is an underlying issue driving you. I don't know what that issue is, but it exists.

I spell it "Dhaval" :)

That you do.

You venture so far, Sherry... (which is a very good thing)

How cool its morning there.....it's the dead of night here with 2000 words more of a term paper to go!

I pretty much agree with you.
I, myself, sometime ask for attention.