Jokes.. =)

Teacher : Sam, you talk a lot.
Sam : It's a family tradition.
Teacher : What do you mean?
Sam : Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher.
Teacher : What about your mother?
Sam : She's a woman.

Teacher: Now, Johny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before
eating?
L-Johnny : No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.

TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, Johny, who discovered America?
JOHNY: George!

Hmm..did u like it...?
:-)

TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
L-JOHNY: Don't bite any.

Dear Husband:

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good.
I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to
showfor it. These last two weeks have been hell.

Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was

the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten

my hair and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a
brand new negligee. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went
straight to sleep after watching the game.

You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch me or anything.

Either you're cheating or you don't love me anymore, what ever the case is,

I'm gone.

P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving
away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Your EX-Wife

Dear Ex-Wife:
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true
that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman

is a far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to drown

out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work.

I did notice when you cut off all of your hair last week, the first
thing that came to mind was "You look just like a man!" My mother raised
me to not say anything if you can't say anything nice. When you cooked
my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY
BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.

I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because the price

tag was still on it. I prayed that it! was a coincidence that my brother had just
borrowed $50 from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99.

After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out.

So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for $10 million,
I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I
got home you were gone.

Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the filling life

you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you

won't get a dime from me. So take care.

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was
born Carla. I hope that's not a problem.

Signed Rich As Hell and Free!

Owwwww.... Thats pretty bad!!!! LMFAO!!!! Shame poor woman!! LoL!!!!

Husband says; "When I'm gone you'll never find another man like me".
Wife replied; "What makes you think I'd want another man like you!"

When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.

Two woman were talking about the new hunk in the neighborhood. "But he acts so stupid," said one to the other. "I think he must have his brains between his legs." "Yeah," her friend sighed, "but I'd sure love to blow his mind."

What four animals does a woman like to have in her house? A tiger in bed, a mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage and a jackass to pay for it all.

Two drunks were walking home along the railway tracks.
The first drunk says, "There's a hell of a lot of steps here."
The second drunk says, "I'll tell you what's worse, this hand rail is bloody low down"

That was kool I really liked that one.

Wow ....its always...good read jokes...

Uncle : hey john!! tell me a good lie..if i found it pleasing i'll give u 1 dollar.
john : what?? 1 dollar just now u said 5 dollars....

Girlfriend : And are you sure you love me and no one else
Boyfriend : Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday.

Waiter : Would you like your coffee black?
Customer : What other colours do you have?

LMFAO I LOVE THE MUFFIN JOKE
Can't get enough of it *chuckles*

Q. How do you get pikachu on a bus?
A. Poke-him-on

Q. Why did the boy throw the clock out of the window?
A. To make time fly.

An English man, Irish man and a Scottish man walk into a pub and the Irish man goes " Is this a joke !!"

^ lol!!!!!!!!!!!

I dont get the uncle and john one.. =0

BOSS said to an employee: "Do you believe in life after Death?"

EMPLOYEE: "Certainly not! There's no proof of it", he replied.

BOSS: "Well, there is now. After you left early yesterday to go to your
brother's funeral, he came here looking for you."

Great joke ajmal, love it.

Hahaha =)

I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss would not allow me to take leave.
I thought that maybe if I acted "CRAZY" then he would tell me to take a few days off. So I hung upside down on the ceiling and made funny noises.
My co-worker (who's blonde) asked me what I was doing. I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss would think I was "CRAZY" and give me a few days off.
A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked "What are you doing?" I told him I was a light bulb.
He said, "You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days".

I jumped down and walked out of the office. When my co-worker (the blonde) followed me, the Boss asked her, "...And where do you think you're going?"
She said, "I'm going home too, I can't work in the dark."

Hey..thanks..pete..
here is another one...hope u all like it...
enjoy!!

An Indian guy named "Anantharaman Subbaraman" arrived at the New York airport and ended up waiting for his visa for about 2 hours for the authorities to call his name.

He got fed up and went to them and asked why they haven't called his name yet.

They said that they have been calling him for the last 2 hours as
"Anotherman Superman"

Types of Bra...

Poisonous BRA --- coBRA

Mathemetical BRA---- algeBRA

striped BRA---- zeBRA

strongestBRA---- vertiBRA

sunsignBRA---- liBRA

magical(invisible)BRA---aBRA ka daBRA